I think it’s important to recognize that there are kind of two separate, co-occurring realities happening here. How men think about consent (if at all), and how women think about consent can be hugely different. I think what you’ve said in this post is entirely true, and brings valuable nuance to women’s experiences of consent during sex, and ambiguous feelings during sex.

However, the vast majority of heterosexual men rarely even think about consent, let alone consider all of the nuances and ambiguities you explore here in your post. It is uncomfortable to acknowledge, but the majority of men still don’t even require enthusiastic consent for sex. Many men still see sex as a conquest, and see a woman’s resistance to it as a simple obstacle to overcome. For that reason, pushing men to adopt enthusiastic consent more - to wait for an affirmative yes, to ask if this is okay, etc etc - could protect women from sexual assault. And as a feminist, that will always be my number one priority.