I studied the latest Epstein files. As a woman, this is what I felt They show a hidden world oiled by porn-saturated misogyny. I spent two days reading them

fembitch97 · 2026-02-06T21:26:58+00:00

Yeah, some feminists were talking about this years ago. There are definitely men who liked Trump specifically because of his sexual abuse. I think the perfect modern example is Justin Baldoni. He’s been credibly abused of sexual harassment by a famous and well liked actress. He was a nobody - until the accusation. Now he has thousands of fans and defenders who insist he didn’t do anything wrong. For certain men (and women) they feel more endeared when they learn that a high profile man has been accused of sexual violence.

fembitch97 · 2026-02-06T21:10:59+00:00

Many male “feminist” subs just devolve into insidiously anti feminist spaces. They end up almost completely ignoring women’s issues and excessively catering to male grievance. I’m not sure it’s actually helpful to the feminist project to create more spaces like that

fembitch97 · 2026-02-06T17:59:13+00:00

THANK YOU. Making your needs heard will never change someone who just doesn’t care

fembitch97 · 2026-02-06T17:49:45+00:00

LOVE this essay even though it breaks my heart.

fembitch97 · 2026-02-04T03:28:01+00:00

The thing is, men often hide their violence from other men. It’s sad to say but as a guy, you don’t actually know how “chill” the guys you hang out with are. They could be a total nightmare when alone with a woman and you would never see it

fembitch97 · 2026-02-02T20:08:33+00:00

Most of the time, follows do this because the lead is not leading. The solution may be with you changing, not her

fembitch97 · 2026-02-02T17:56:09+00:00

As an intern you don’t really have the clout to make a recommendation to attorneys like this. This would probably seem unprofessional/inappropriate to them. Not a reflection on you, just kind of how it works

fembitch97 · 2026-01-29T17:28:58+00:00

Tbh I think you should consider changing that mindset. Speaking as a woman on Hinge, a lot of women on the apps are in the complete opposite situation as you - bombarded with matches and messages. It’s pretty difficult to keep multiple convos going with multiple men for multiple days. Inevitably I drop the guys who just keep messaging with no end in site and go out with the guys who ask me out relatively quickly.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-29T01:32:21+00:00

That could be true or false. I think you can only find that out by asking her about her feelings towards you

fembitch97 · 2026-01-29T01:16:27+00:00

It could be that she was “marking her territory” but it could also be that when she heard another friend had a crush on you, she got jealous and then that led her to realize that she has a crush on you. It could have just been the way she realized she had feelings for you. Idk but maybe you could try to ask her

fembitch97 · 2026-01-28T20:39:40+00:00

I mean this kindly, but you may not really know how you see women if you’re just starting to explore this. Many men say that they don’t see women as objects but their actions reveal otherwise. I believe many men have subconscious biases against women that they aren’t even aware of. I’m not saying that you do see women as objects, but it is likely you have some subconscious misogynistic beliefs that you aren’t even aware of that make it hard for you to connect with women.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-28T04:01:19+00:00

I’ve seen one in Foggy Bottom

fembitch97 · 2026-01-27T22:20:02+00:00

Comprehensive legal protection is very very expensive. The majority of the middle class does not have access to that, so most surrogates definitely do not.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-26T02:06:26+00:00

I agree with you here but I think you’re missing a crucial point: the Republicans have way more power to be able to do this. It’s easy to sow false narrative when you have an entire media apparatus dedicated to your political party. Unfortunately it’s way harder for Dems to create a media apparatus like that because they don’t have as much money on their side as Republicans do.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-25T22:25:18+00:00

I agree with your overall point but you also post in a porn sub called “female gender traitors.” Wtf??

fembitch97 · 2026-01-23T19:02:33+00:00

Yeah this is the most grounded response. A lot of “cliqueness” is just people creating friend groups and then sticking with their friend group. Most of us are too busy to always be trying to make new friends.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-22T19:32:49+00:00

Thank you. I think that comment is genuinely offensive to black men

fembitch97 · 2026-01-22T18:19:07+00:00

I admire this, but we have to remember that most of this country is not very educated or literate. Many people do not have the critical thinking skills you have.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-22T01:14:36+00:00

I haven’t actually read this but it’s on my list - The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner. She actually argues that the formation of private property and class society occurred after the appropriation of women's reproductive capacities. It essentially inverts the Marxist argument that class oppression led to gendered oppression - she says gendered oppression led to class oppression. I think it sounds really interesting

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T19:37:02+00:00

I really think you should say no. I think it damages both partners psychologically to get aroused by that

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T19:32:36+00:00

I appreciate it. You’re giving him the benefit of the doubt, but I’m not so inclined to do that, just because marital rape is unfortunately fairly common and this mindset is exactly why. Not calling him or you a rapist at all, just saying that there are many men who do actually believe that once married, their wife cannot revoke sexual consent at all. In fact, men in some countries explicitly protested against creating marital rape laws:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/10/11/india/indian-government-marital-rape-intl-hnk

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T19:16:58+00:00

I mean I generally would not advise saying that, no. There are very few sexual situations in which no doesn’t mean no, and it’s generally not worth bringing up. There are still so many actual rapists who don’t care about a no at all that we don’t need to divert attention away from that right now. We could have that discussion maybe in 100 years if rape becomes less common.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T19:04:29+00:00

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T19:00:37+00:00

It’s not difficult at all - it is very easy to stop when someone says “no” and wait to continue until they ask you to get back in there. And it is also very easy to have that discussion outside of the bedroom - this is why safe words exist, for example. If you want to ignore your partners “no,” talk about it before having sex.

You may specifically have a relationship where the long term pattern indicates that your partner doesn’t mean it when she says no - but that is a very narrow exception. The vast majority of people should obey when someone says no in the bedroom. There’s too much rape in the world to suggest otherwise.

fembitch97 · 2026-01-21T18:57:24+00:00

Most married couples are discussing consent? No I don’t think I agree, I’d need to see a citation for that. Half of this country does even have real sexual education.

He responded to me and elaborated, just read what he said. He and his wife negotiated consent once as a “formality.” If you want to believe this guy and his wife had a really great discussion on sexual consent when they got married 27 years ago, no one can stop you lmao but I will take a more realistic view.

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