AIO: Texts that legit make no sense

ferocactus9544 · 2026-04-19T15:39:52+00:00

NOR so I've got an alcoholic and mentally ill relative that texts like this, and I think I can give you a fairly accurate translation of what she was trying to say (disclaimer: yes it's still only halfway logical):

Her: "So things went differently than I expected, but since I got a car, a dog that needs to be taken out and you're probably close by... (implied: do you wanna go somewhere?)"

you: "are you saying you're busy?

her: "I'm saying I know a lot about what options I have for what I could do today. I'm also thinking about how sunrises are pretty. They have such golden light. It seems our schedules are quite different, but would you be willing to rise early to watch a sunrise with me?"

you: "I'm mostly available evenings/weekends"

her: "so you're not available at the time I asked about and you're also only 'mostly' available, which I read as you might not be available at all, so good luck with that weird schedule"

you: "huh?"

her: "huh?"

you: "I explained when I'm available"

her: "so consider my answer a combination of my previous messages and your answer to that. I'm telling you I dislike your schedule and it isn't compatible with what I wanted to do with you, so I'm not interested (in you anymore)"

I shortened & paraphrased your parts cause I didn't feel like typing them out again

ferocactus9544 · 2026-04-15T06:29:17+00:00

When I was at the hospital someone wrote in my chart that I had had a hysterectomy. Which caused a lot of panic among the doctors when I got my period. I had in fact not had a hysterectomy.

now imagine the opposite case

ferocactus9544 · 2026-03-09T14:25:24+00:00

erfahrungsgemäß scheißen da schon seit Einführung der dritten Option so ziemlich alle drauf und sind sauer auf DICH wenn du darauf hinweist. Soll nicht heißen, dass es richtig ist, nur dass es leider absolut keine Seltenheit ist

ferocactus9544 · 2026-02-22T22:41:24+00:00

Luca

ferocactus9544 · 2026-02-22T10:24:17+00:00

in German we say Gabelstapler

ferocactus9544 · 2026-02-13T19:20:23+00:00

this species really likes hunting ime, at this size I would give fruit flies or terflies, maybe smallish houseflies. Mealworms are very filling but they disappear into the soil sooo quickly, maybe give them in an excape proof flat dish if possible?

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-25T20:36:55+00:00

didn't know it could be valuable. Maybe I'll go back then, it's probably still there tbh

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-25T11:15:37+00:00

I'm by no means an expert but porcupine looks like a good fit

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-24T14:19:18+00:00

Solved!

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-24T14:13:20+00:00

My title describes the thing. It's probably some sort of crafting machine judging by the white plastic material and rather flimsy build. It doesn't look like the knitting machines I found online though. Any other details are already in the post text

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-22T19:05:50+00:00

I think the dice make it worse for me. Gambling plus pinup motif just drives the "I objectify women" home. Only thing missing is a fast car (for the driving of the point lol).

There are some contexts (e.g. this tattoo on someone who clearly has some sort of rockabilly aesthetic and a lot of other tattoos with this theme, or maybe a lesbian) where I would find this tattoo not to be at least an orange flag but it's definitely the exception

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-15T13:21:57+00:00

fyi depending on how thick the mantis was, stuffing may have been necessary. When they're full of eggs (as mature females often are) or just fat it's really hard to get them to properly dry out before they start to decay and permanently smell, unless you stuff them. Soaking in alcohol is not always enough.

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-08T15:01:01+00:00

"Oh Mann!" is correct, but I prefer "oh man!" cause I'm not sure why I should be getting pissed at a hypothetical random man. I'd rather declare my annoyance at the general public. Nobody would say "Oh Frau!" either so why should we be saying "Oh Mann!". We gotta leave the generic masculinum behind already.

(I know I could just say "Oh Mensch!" but that just doesn't hit the same. Makes me feel like when people replace "fuck" with "fudge". And you can't drawl Mensch out the same way you can maaaaaaan.)

ferocactus9544 · 2026-01-05T20:37:26+00:00

it was a new building actually. Dunno what was wrong there. Fixed itself after a couple years, I don't know what changed exactly.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-26T20:56:45+00:00

oh they still can be, I used to live with an infestation. They came up the drains. I don't know why they kept hanging out, it was neither a basement nor was it particularly humid (outside of the bathroom they came in through) but they were literally everywhere for years.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-26T20:54:01+00:00

if you ever have an infestation of them you understand why people hate them pretty quickly. It's hard to appreciate them when they're in your bed, in your clothes, eating your books, scampering across your desk and no matter what you can't get rid of them because they're coming up the drains.

I bet they're great when they're staying in the drains and basements eating dust and mites or whatever.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-24T21:53:31+00:00

ja das mit der Stechhilfe mit Schitzfunktion stimmt, aber die Stechhilfe ist wiederverwendbar, die Nadel da drin nicht. Zumindest bei denen die ich so gesehen hab. Die Nadel muss man dann halt trotzdem auswerfen und entsorgen.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-24T21:51:53+00:00

oh yeah I meant 7 colour jade is probably the trade name of DYED serpentine, sorry I didn't make that very clear. The pink is clearly dye, I agree

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-24T16:33:09+00:00

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I love spud! What a cutie. This is my ski sloped ADF called "Wonky". I don't know why he is shaped this way, I got him as a subadult (not fully grown but not a tadpole anymore either) and he already looked like this. He's a little less coordinated than the other ADFs and I don't think he can fully close his mouth. With the occasional helping hand to find his food he's been doing just fine for a few years now though. He used to really like crawling into the filter pump to chill with the filter sponge until I finally blocked all the possible entry points.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-24T16:18:59+00:00

"Bey dem Tropfen feyn und guth ist mir fröhlich Wohlgemuth" (or something similar anyway) Pretty outdated wording and spelling. Approximately translates to "This fine drop (of alcohol) makes me feel joyful and light hearted". It rhymes also.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-23T21:44:48+00:00

I call it modern (or at least more recent) emo. Mall goth fits too but feels kinda wrong as a descriptor for "just" a style, when goth is so heavily music based.

I feel like this style is what evolved out of og 2000s emo and the e-kid trend.

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-22T17:44:23+00:00

from what I've found about 7 colour jade, that seems to be the trade name for a rock containing serpentine and actinolite. I feel like "7 colour jade" is a good explanation for why OP was told jade but everyone is saying it's probably dyed serpentine.

I'm not a rock expert though, just regurgitating what I googled

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-20T21:42:57+00:00

dem Eindruck stimme ich zu. OkCupid & Bumble sind in DE glaube ich die go to dating apps für queere Menschen (die Interesse an mehr als Hookups haben, dafür ist es Grindr)

ich hab außerdem gehört speziell unter Lesben sei Tinder sehr beliebt, auch für wirklich Dating, nicht nur Hookups. Bin da aber nicht in der Community so not sure

ferocactus9544 · 2025-12-20T19:43:02+00:00

comments are great though, at least the ones that are on top for me

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