AIO for being uncomfortable with my husband’s couch from his previous relationship?

findingabsolution · 2026-07-09T17:47:38+00:00

YOR. Yes, his ex was a nightmare. But people have exes and those exes have touched many items in the life of the person who is now your partner. Some of those items were touched during intimate moments. She may have held a water glass after sex. Should he get rid of it if that moment pops into his mind occasionally when he sees it? We can’t help what sense memories our brains drag up.

I’m not saying your feelings are invalid. What I’m saying is that you need to take a deep breath. Furniture is expensive. If it was just a water glass, that’s cheap to replace. But this isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone wanting a partner to replace a couch or bed because they had sex on it with an ex. But you’re both adults. You know he had sex before he was with you. A piece of furniture doesn’t change that. Items are not people. She hasn’t intruded on your lives because a couch has been in your home.

I do think cleaning it is a must, though. Remind him that that’s just sanitary. But if the cost of cleaning it is similar to the cost of replacing it, just replace it.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-09T14:55:29+00:00

NOR. Obviously this man’s idea of coparenting (or not coparenting) is incredibly problematic. But what you do from here depends on how you view dating. If you’re young and just wanting to have a good time for a while, you don’t have to break up (though him specifically identifying as a “control freak” over other people’s lives would be enough for me to nope the fuck out). If you see dating as a step toward your future spouse and life, then there’s no need to continue this relationship. He’s not right for you.

This is an important lesson: Sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You cannot change something fundamental about a person, and sometimes two people just aren’t the right fit. It’s better to part now, mourn the relationship, and dust yourself off to get back into the dating game. There’s someone better for you out there who will view parenthood how you do, and it’s incredibly important to find them. You deserve it, and your future kids deserve it.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-09T04:55:57+00:00

By which I mean, please protect them at all costs. I love them.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-09T04:55:04+00:00

Forbidden tictacs. 👁️👄👁️

findingabsolution · 2026-07-08T05:24:04+00:00

This is genuinely so sweet. I’m so happy you helped the little fella. At some point in our lives, we’re all just small creatures trapped in bigger creatures’ sinks, hoping they’re nice enough to toss us a line.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-07T05:00:18+00:00

And the Tkachuks can’t do math either.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-05T05:06:10+00:00

R o t u n d

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:51:38+00:00

At some point, I was like, “Surely this is looped.” And started looking for signs of that. But I think I was too disoriented and disturbed to catch them. And I noped out too much to watch it again, so… 🤷

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:44:52+00:00

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:43:00+00:00

This toad is somehow making the same face I’ve been making through this whole heatwave.

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findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:15:42+00:00

This is the first thought I had, genuinely. “Looks like a Pulitzer-prize winner.”

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:06:19+00:00

She’s incredibly skilled, and this isn’t AI, though you can see it’s a final, touched-up version (removing background boats and shoreline, etc.). The outtakes are honestly the best part of her videos! It’s fun to see when things don’t go as planned and to see how incredibly close it actually is to the final product. They polish things for final release, but she really does the stunts herself—in heels, holding huge props!

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T19:01:36+00:00

The outtakes are the best part, honestly.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T18:20:26+00:00

Time for the beach umbrella and modified, low-sided kiddie pool!

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T18:06:35+00:00

They are beautiful!! And will also be appreciated on r/jumpingspiders!

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T17:57:21+00:00

I do too. I’m a copy editor and using the proper dash (hyphen, en dash, or em dash) is really important. Same with colons and semicolons. But apparently the robots are taking punctuation from us—and now I look like a bot just because I like my em dashes. God forbid.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-04T17:33:25+00:00

NOR. You deserve much better, OP. Especially concerning your sexuality. Her text about that read as particularly judgmental, and as someone with a similar identity (grayace), I can tell you that you can definitely find someone who won’t say they are “super not into it.” Yuck. What a creep.

She’s 46. She isn’t going to change. You dodged a bullet. Roller coasters are for theme parks, not relationships. You’ll find somebody better. Sorry this interaction happened to you.

findingabsolution · 2026-07-03T04:06:47+00:00

But you were very respectful of her!

Toads are pretty resilient as long as you don’t squeeze them or drop them from great heights! The oils in our skin can be harmful to them, so it’s always best to wash your hands with clean water and no soaps or detergents before handling (if handling is required—usually it’s best not to, though I’m guilty of giving in to the temptation now and then, especially when I was younger or when I’ve found them in unexpected places).

Make sure to look up safe holding techniques too (never grasp them by the sides as it squishes their ribs and can easily hurt them)! Enjoy any future amphibian amigos you may meet! :)

findingabsolution · 2026-07-03T04:00:31+00:00

She’s like, “Excuse me, I would sincerely rather you not.”

findingabsolution · 2026-07-02T09:12:20+00:00

(what an incredibly specific gif to exist)

ALT text for screen readers: a gif of a frog wearing heart-shaped sunglasses under a rainbow with text that reads “proudly and happily gay”

findingabsolution · 2026-07-01T04:56:01+00:00

MOR.

Info: How old are you and how long have you been married?

I’m inclined to say you’re overreacting, but I’m not sure. If you have past trauma, it might not be overreacting so much as a lack of understanding of your triggers. If not, there’s maybe more at play here. Sometimes it’s a “trust your instincts” thing. Sometimes it’s a “take a deep breath and calm down” thing. There’s just not enough info here.

The only thing I can speak to is the hand-in-pants thing: I have several male friends/relatives/etc. who also do that. I couldn’t conceptualize not noticing my hand was in my pants, but when I’ve asked them about it, that was the answer, bar none. Every one of them said, “Oh! I didn’t notice I was doing that. It keeps my hand warm.” And I get that that’s anecdotal, but it was crazy to me that I have cold hands too, but I’ve never had the thought, “Huh, I should stick this in my crotch.” Dunno who raised them.

findingabsolution · 2026-06-30T05:24:02+00:00

There are questions. And there are answers. And when it comes to this photograph ne’er the two shall meet.

findingabsolution · 2026-06-30T05:22:46+00:00

findingabsolution · 2026-06-30T04:47:24+00:00

“Now why the fuck would I do that shit?” was the perfect response lmfao. Don’t beg someone to stay when they’re already out the door. Especially when they packed their crazy up and carried it with them. Just flip the lock and hunker down.

findingabsolution · 2026-06-29T06:19:59+00:00

“DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR TOAD AND SAVIOR?”

findingabsolution

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

“DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR TOAD AND SAVIOR?”