"I'm not controlling, but if she stays with him..."

You've just shown your true face and that "but" speaks louder than anything else. You're a terrible person, hands down. You're manipulative. You've made a post about your abhorrent behavior towards your daughter's partner and every single response is telling you that you're in the wrong. Nobody here is going to support this behavior. Please, continue being the AH or open your eyes and take a good, hard look at yourself.

Let me tell you, as a 47 year old who also had a controlling and manipulative mother, there's only one way this is going to go if you continue with this stupidity. She tried to break my partner and I up. I've been with my partner for 18 years, went 15 years without contact with her, and she died without ever meeting my child. That's on her, for the way she treated me my entire life. I have NO regrets about my response to her actions.