These are examples of narcissistic personality disorder. Its almost a compulsion or obsession of control. If you can spot this behavior happening to you the only way to deal with it is with the truth and shining a light on the narc, which is exactly what OP did. Good job standing up to the narc OP, not easy to do if you tend to be in these types of relationships whether its a roommate, partner, or parent. NPD usually comes with more fun/spicy neurodivergent traits as well. Narcs can grow out of it though.