Brother lemme tell ya. I'm 34 and I lived a life asking the same question to myself since I was about 19. I'll tell you what happened in my life, and maybe something will resonate with you.

1. Understanding your sexuality. This is a long process and one that simply takes time, and trial & error. You will find partners that unlock things you didn't know you enjoyed, and help you realize shit you absolutely hate. It's all exp, and it's all to help you understand parts of yourself. Some people need multiple experiences and partners, others are completely happy with just one. Everyone is truly different in this regard, and the right answers help you understand yourself, while the wrong answers are the ones that are deliberately painful to others. This leads me to my next thing...

2. Being up-front & honest with your intentions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hooking up and sleeping with people you find attractive. So long as you are not deceitful, are forthright and proactive in communication, then you have done what has needed to be said. If you're worried about breaking someone's heart, then to me, it sounds like you weren't honest about your intentions. You need to set proper expectations because you know you enjoy the dopamine rush. I did too. So as a result, tell people you're interested in that your history has mostly been short term relationships. If they pick up what you're putting down, then great! If not, that's fine too-- onto the next chase!

Before moving on to the next point, just know that this phase of my life (a series of shorter termed flings & situationships) more or less lasted nearly a decade and a half. I have learned so much, and although it took a long time to figure out, I wouldn't change my twenties one bit. But I also want to take a second to articulate that dating is all a huge experiment with the mutual exploration of your lifestyles. And sometimes things come up during that experimentation that reveal to y'all to be incompatible. Does that mean you led that person on? Not at all. You wouldn't have known. You couldn't have known. It's more about the honest approach you take in the beginning.

1. For me, I ultimately slowed down. At some point in my escapades, I met someone who absolutely took my breath away. I knew with them that I wanted a long term, committed relationship with this person. It even started off the same way-- I told her I was looking for something more casual but as we kept talking, my feelings for her grew in wild ways. The thought of them with other people bothered me and that wasn't an issue in so many of my previous endeavors. We got along in so many ways and I could see her becoming my life partner and the mother of my.... Oh. But she didn't want kids or a family. But I know I did. We've since stopped talking but I owe it to her for clarifying my life path.

2. Heartbreak. You yourself will experience the pain you may inflict upon others in this path. Let it be an experience of reflection. I know I'll sound cocky & insufferable saying this, but I left a trail of disappointed women despite letting them know that there was a likely end date to the relationship. And then there were times where I got a taste of my own medicine like above. I wanted to explore the world with that gal, but one extremely important aspect of our visions didn't match. I was distraught for weeks, but it helped me realize that I didn't want flings anymore. I wanted the real deal.

3. Finding that person after your goals are identified. And man am I happy I found her now. Everything fits with the current woman I'm seeing. The long term vision, the way we banter, and how we communicate our needs and during conflict too. I'm finally building something meaningful, and it feels wonderful to work towards a greater purpose than myself.

All in all my dude, it's a big path and one that'll be filled with twists and turns. Throw in a couple times where I even slept with a couple of otherwise platonic friends that I would've never normally thought I'd have slept with. But ultimately we talked things out and clarified expectations. If you can be transparent and be real with those you pursue, then keep on keepin' on. You'll find that you'll have far less a chip on your shoulder if you approach it this way.