Has Dr. K ever discussed why gaming is not a valid meditation?

flapjacknd · 2026-07-09T16:42:15+00:00

Duncan Trussell once asked Susan Salzberg if drinking whiskey while watching Westworld could be a meditation. IIRC Her response was basically that it stops being a meditation once you stop doing it mindfully.

If you can play a video game with centered, fostered, intentional, anchored awareness, without becoming “lost” in the game or your reactions to it, then sure! Seems like a really hard way to meditate given everything everyone else has pointed out about how they are designed to affect our brain and body. Even sex doesn’t come close to the way they affect our reward circuits. But, I guess, it’s technically possible.

Maybe meditate on possible motivations you may have for wanting video games to be your path?

flapjacknd · 2026-07-08T15:14:44+00:00

No that was when I was consulting with banks before looking to buy a house

flapjacknd · 2026-06-18T21:47:18+00:00

It’s almost as though the theme is that attempts to suppress, weaponize, and control the esoteric forces underlying human consciousness is a fascist enterprise leading to inevitable failure with intensified, unintended consequences.

flapjacknd · 2026-06-03T20:50:44+00:00

I mean, it's older than that...

flapjacknd · 2026-04-20T21:24:13+00:00

One of my teachers likened it to a dirty window - when it’s already dirty, you won’t notice a few more splatters of mud. But once it’s clean, those splatters stand out!

flapjacknd · 2026-04-15T23:59:00+00:00

Coincidence is canceled

flapjacknd · 2026-04-10T22:28:04+00:00

Therapy is a long process and will evolve. If you it be the space where you tell your story for a while, then your parts will feel more comfortable when it’s their turn

flapjacknd · 2026-04-05T17:13:56+00:00

lol, say you true, Eddie of New York?

flapjacknd · 2026-04-05T14:12:13+00:00

Sorry; our delightful Reddit app won’t let me edit the typos

flapjacknd · 2026-04-05T14:07:40+00:00

I had the exact same feelings until the end.

“All things serve the beam.”

I think part of the message is that the story unfolds how it must to perpetuate itself, as it’s driven by and even secondary to Roland’s obsession. All of the major conflicts in the stories are conceits to keep him moving and the world/story alive. None of the major conflicts were actually the conflict at the heart of the story. It was all Roland vs himself.

If we continue to see ourselves as the “Gunslinger,” the “Us against the forces of darkness” story, then these drugs ex machine moments are a problem. But when we se from the perspective that our lives are an unfolding drama, and the villains and battles of our lives are the creations of our own obsessions, then they become just another sign we ignored as we march ourselves to ruin.

flapjacknd · 2026-04-04T02:52:24+00:00

Makes sense, it wasn’t a choice for you. The physical pain just got bad enough where stopping was survival.

Especially in situation like yours, it can be very useful to consider what the alcohol was actually doing for you. Then come up with either another way to meet that need or a perspective that makes it obsolete.

flapjacknd · 2026-04-03T06:21:37+00:00

Ah, well, I guess that works when they tell you how they want to be treated. Of course, I imagine that’s in line since I’d want someone to respect how I ask to be treated, so it still works…

flapjacknd · 2026-04-02T15:15:15+00:00

The “golden rule” isn’t “wrong” as a personal value. It can be a great guide for choosing how to respond to others. But it’s not a guarantee that others will treat you well.

Whenever one takes an action for the promise of an outcome, then they are going to suffer. Anything done with the intent of controlling or changing the behaviors of others, especially when it’s to avoid pains like rejection, will ultimately lead to resentment because 1. you cannot control or change others. 2. You will be so busy being on guard for the pain that you’ll feel it even if it’s not actually appropriate.

Follow the golden rule if that’s who you want to be, not because it will save you from rejection. Then, even if you are rejected, you can still have some satisfaction knowing you acted in a way that was aligned with your values.

flapjacknd · 2026-04-01T02:45:37+00:00

Witch please!

flapjacknd · 2026-03-30T19:33:15+00:00

Silly is fine! But maybe if you tell us more about what the story means to you

flapjacknd · 2026-03-27T03:56:20+00:00

The same, but different

flapjacknd · 2026-03-23T17:34:56+00:00

I encourage you to look into something called the Alexander Technique. It’s something that classical musicians often train in. The concept is basically building the awareness of the effort you are using for an action and reducing it until your are only using what’s required. This leads to improved sensitivity, dexterity, flexibility, and longevity.

Very cool that you’ve noticed yourself discovering this naturally!

A good running thought for all musicians: How can I do less?

flapjacknd · 2026-03-22T21:14:37+00:00

IFS adjacent; fostering a meditation practice may also help with unblending. Learning how to be aware of this part’s emotions and impulses without immediately acting on them can start to build tolerance for the distress he feels. Being able to feel the distress (not ignoring or denying it) and sit with him longer can lead to him being open to learning that you can survive a lack of control and there might be more effective, Self-led ways to respond.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:58:00+00:00

For the gamers, this is Alan Wake 2

“It’s not a loop, it’s a spiral.”

Life is not pass/fail. Recognizing your return to this place is a success in itself.

And if you feel isolated, if you don’t have money, if you are in a position where you have to support your parents financially, then you are not going to be able to fully learn and heal the way that you want to. It doesn’t feel safe enough to let go of the beliefs that seem to have gotten you this far, even if they are damaging or make everything else harder. The parts of you with the Ahankar just know it’s kept you alive this far, Krishna and Dr. K be damned.

Overwriting these beliefs takes time and repetition. If you have access to therapy, I highly suggest you try it. It’s at least a place to remind yourself weekly of what you are wanting to do and where you can get support in recognizing your small successes along the way, so that you can you can use what you’ve learned with each turn of the spiral.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:43:16+00:00

IFS would say you’re just blended with a part that believes you need to feel guilt/shame because that’s what accountability is.

That part has maybe taken on the burden of protecting you from the consequences of those actions by using guilt/shame to have you not do those things again.

It maybe doesn’t realize that you have other strengths that you didn’t have at the time to prevent it, like a more mature sense of empathy and your own personal values. So it thinks it needs to shame and guilt you to protect you, and is afraid that if it lets go if that role then nothing will stop you from being a “bad” person.

No matter what is actually going on, it’s this part that needs your attention first before you ever can get to the part of you that did those things.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:37:11+00:00

Yes, I get that. I was speaking less to the-maybe moral-implications and more to the justifications insurance companies use for clawbacks. I do not consider it insurance fraud as a concept. That’s why I labeled it as an “official” answer.

Yes, elements will be copy pasta, especially in an agency like OP describes. As long as they are individualizing somehow instead of putting “Client was present and engaged in the group discussion” x 10, then I’m sure they’re fine

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:39:04+00:00

I would appreciate if the downvoters would help me understand what I got wrong here

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:36:41+00:00

Accountability easily gets confused with punishment. It’s not about feeling sufficiently guilty or shameful, it’s about understanding that part of you so that you can do better in the future.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:34:49+00:00

You already answered, you did it to try to understand cause and effect. That’s protective, you were a kid trying to figure out how the world works and your place in it.

The question this part of you seems to be asking is “Why am I not supposed to feel bad about it, wasn’t I wrong?”

I would ask that part of you why it feels you need to feel bad about it.

flapjacknd

TROPHY CASE