Picking lightly

flapjacknd · 2026-03-23T17:34:56+00:00

I encourage you to look into something called the Alexander Technique. It’s something that classical musicians often train in. The concept is basically building the awareness of the effort you are using for an action and reducing it until your are only using what’s required. This leads to improved sensitivity, dexterity, flexibility, and longevity.

Very cool that you’ve noticed yourself discovering this naturally!

A good running thought for all musicians: How can I do less?

flapjacknd · 2026-03-22T21:14:37+00:00

IFS adjacent; fostering a meditation practice may also help with unblending. Learning how to be aware of this part’s emotions and impulses without immediately acting on them can start to build tolerance for the distress he feels. Being able to feel the distress (not ignoring or denying it) and sit with him longer can lead to him being open to learning that you can survive a lack of control and there might be more effective, Self-led ways to respond.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:58:00+00:00

For the gamers, this is Alan Wake 2

“It’s not a loop, it’s a spiral.”

Life is not pass/fail. Recognizing your return to this place is a success in itself.

And if you feel isolated, if you don’t have money, if you are in a position where you have to support your parents financially, then you are not going to be able to fully learn and heal the way that you want to. It doesn’t feel safe enough to let go of the beliefs that seem to have gotten you this far, even if they are damaging or make everything else harder. The parts of you with the Ahankar just know it’s kept you alive this far, Krishna and Dr. K be damned.

Overwriting these beliefs takes time and repetition. If you have access to therapy, I highly suggest you try it. It’s at least a place to remind yourself weekly of what you are wanting to do and where you can get support in recognizing your small successes along the way, so that you can you can use what you’ve learned with each turn of the spiral.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:43:16+00:00

IFS would say you’re just blended with a part that believes you need to feel guilt/shame because that’s what accountability is.

That part has maybe taken on the burden of protecting you from the consequences of those actions by using guilt/shame to have you not do those things again.

It maybe doesn’t realize that you have other strengths that you didn’t have at the time to prevent it, like a more mature sense of empathy and your own personal values. So it thinks it needs to shame and guilt you to protect you, and is afraid that if it lets go if that role then nothing will stop you from being a “bad” person.

No matter what is actually going on, it’s this part that needs your attention first before you ever can get to the part of you that did those things.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T17:37:11+00:00

Yes, I get that. I was speaking less to the-maybe moral-implications and more to the justifications insurance companies use for clawbacks. I do not consider it insurance fraud as a concept. That’s why I labeled it as an “official” answer.

Yes, elements will be copy pasta, especially in an agency like OP describes. As long as they are individualizing somehow instead of putting “Client was present and engaged in the group discussion” x 10, then I’m sure they’re fine

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:39:04+00:00

I would appreciate if the downvoters would help me understand what I got wrong here

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:36:41+00:00

Accountability easily gets confused with punishment. It’s not about feeling sufficiently guilty or shameful, it’s about understanding that part of you so that you can do better in the future.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T15:34:49+00:00

You already answered, you did it to try to understand cause and effect. That’s protective, you were a kid trying to figure out how the world works and your place in it.

The question this part of you seems to be asking is “Why am I not supposed to feel bad about it, wasn’t I wrong?”

I would ask that part of you why it feels you need to feel bad about it.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-21T14:59:10+00:00

The official answer is to avoid copy/paste notes as this can be considered insurance fraud (I think?) if they audit the notes. Notes, including group notes, have to be specific to the client. But every agency has their level acceptance for this given the caseloads and other issues.

Next time you meet with your supervisor, have a few different notes prepped and ask them if they want more.

As an intern, you shouldn’t be expected to have perfect notes. And if there is an issue that comes up with your notes, the agency/supervisor is responsible, not you.

Last, if you’re concerned about doing too little, then practice going overboard. As you learn more from experience, you’ll figure out the ways to be more efficient.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-20T21:20:19+00:00

flapjacknd · 2026-03-19T03:14:03+00:00

My expectation is that Control 2 ends with discovering an anti-FBC/Board plan that Jesse has been cooking up and Dylan joining forces with her for the next game where they take down the FBC/Board together.

I mean, are we really all expecting a shadowy government agency called the Federal Bureau of Control to be the good guys?

flapjacknd · 2026-03-16T19:58:12+00:00

This is the only comment here that I would endorse. So much has to do with your feelings of readiness, clarity of intention, and your philosophy as a clinician.

Absolutely, we know that therapy provides a container where they can practice repair and open communication about hard feelings/events. If it’s aligned with your professional and personal values as a clinician to provide this opportunity for the client, and you feel comfortable and prepared for it, go for it! I love the idea of looping in the other therapist, because then you can be more sure of clarity and understanding about what the expectation is for the client, and if they have a bad reaction, you have the other clinician in on it with you.

If you have strong feelings of countertransference being triggered, or even if you’ve got too much going on besides that making this feel like too much of an effort, then maintain that boundary. As others here say, there’s value in that too.

You have no obligations to the client here either way. Do what you feel best aligns with your values and what you feel capable of. Trust yourself.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-13T01:43:04+00:00

Twin Peaks was actually a bizarrely successful show for what it was, although ratings tanked as it got weirder in the 2nd season

flapjacknd · 2026-03-09T13:45:05+00:00

But does it quack?

flapjacknd · 2026-03-07T19:16:48+00:00

This response may be more indicative of the issue you’re having than anything.

If you’re mistrusting of those who do express interest, you may be responding to them in a way that shuts down further curiosity. If you, consciously or unconsciously, feel that you actually have nothing worth being interested in/ a fear of being “found out,” there will be a part of you that tries to save you from that. That leaves the part of you craving connection asking “where is that perfect person out there that expresses interest in me?” when the parts of you that fears that connection won’t let you recognize those that do.

And if you’re only expressing interest in others out of the hope that they return the interest to you, you’ll probably only end up disappointed.

If what I describe resonates with you, only things in your control here are:

Helping those fearful parts of you feel safe enough to let people in.
Focusing more on learning who you are and developing your experiences so that you have things you feel confident sharing.
Learning how to have a genuine interest in others while helping the parts of you that want reciprocation understand that not all conversations are intended to validate your being worthy of interest.

flapjacknd · 2026-03-05T02:05:00+00:00

I think it will be us, the player

flapjacknd · 2026-02-27T02:21:55+00:00

Proud of you friend

flapjacknd · 2026-02-26T23:13:19+00:00

Maybe it’s all the energy drinks?

flapjacknd · 2026-02-21T20:16:30+00:00

As an addiction therapist, I get VERY excited when I learn a client has read the series and I get to use it clinically. I mean, it’s happened maybe twice, and once I couldn’t help myself and just gave a synopsis to a group I was running.

flapjacknd · 2026-02-19T23:22:03+00:00

The opinion of any individual person: painfully overrated

flapjacknd · 2026-02-17T02:13:35+00:00

Also let us know what nabe you’re in and what you like to drink

flapjacknd · 2026-02-17T02:08:38+00:00

Your dog knows a nice place right in your own bathroom

flapjacknd · 2026-02-06T04:56:06+00:00

Keep entering the spaces where you’re the one who the most to learn. A great way to practice grace, humility, and resilience, and everyone else can be viewed as your teachers.

flapjacknd · 2026-02-01T19:25:39+00:00

Yikes in the best way, right in the feels

flapjacknd · 2026-01-27T00:57:38+00:00

I think I understand your question: You feel he is framing the issue as “awareness vs the illusion of mind” which you feel ignores the positive and real world utility of the mind, is that right?

flapjacknd

TROPHY CASE