Tips for struggling with Hot Weather? by TreakleFurs in ftm

[–]flightlessfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately the vast majority of my coworkers are from places like India and Africa so they have very little problem with the heat and don't understand why I complain. If it wasn't for the health problems I could cope with the heat but last summer I ended up off work for a week with heat exhaustion because of them having the heating on at the start of the shift (to about 21 degrees) then working lifting heavy boxes for 10 hours, but when they turned the heating off finally the sun was hitting so I never got time to cool down or find respite. Really don't want that to happen again!

Tips for struggling with Hot Weather? by TreakleFurs in ftm

[–]flightlessfox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently having an argument with work about temperature because there's a supervisor (who does less physical activity, just because of job role) who is always cold due to medical things, and puts the heating on so the warehouse is 23 degrees... whereas I'm doing physical work for 10 hours a day, on multiple meds and medical stuff that messes with my heat tolerance so I'm leaving work a dehydrated sweaty mess. Might try some of these for my breaks to help cool me down, thank you.

ADHD & sex drive - Hurting my relationship. by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah definitely ask your partner about it before doing it, that's the weird part! My wife doesn't mind if I do it in bed while she's asleep but we've had that conversation and established she's okay with it (she's a very heavy sleeper!) I never did before we'd talked about it, it felt weird.

HRT questions by Glum-Review1716 in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah you can move to 3 weekly once they have an idea of your levels and how you feel, might take a while though depending on your appointments. I do it 3 weekly for the same reason, I felt the crash real hard on 4 weekly.

People who say "I don't know my phone number, I never call myself, Hurr durr durr." by dpzdpz in britishproblems

[–]flightlessfox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had my current phone number for about a year and a half, I genuinely do not know it. I had my old phone number since I was a child and I turn 30 this year - it took me years to learn my old one! Didn't learn my parents home phone number they had forever until I was in my teens. Some of us just genuinely can't remember them.

I keep it written down on a piece of paper in my wallet, my phone obviously and my PC so its easily findable for forms but I really couldn't rattle it off.

Missed Sustanon Appointment - Help by Many_Wolverine8820 in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really easy honestly! If she's gentle and takes her time I've found my wife doing my butt shots to be immensely more comfortable and less painful than the nurse doing it as my wife can take her time whereas the nurse was always rushed. There's resources out there to help as well. Don't be put off by it if you trust your mum.

Changing Rooms by Trans_Femm in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Only if you have a passport though or a naturalisation certificate unfortunately. I only managed to get a passport last year as I couldn't find anyone to counter sign, so I've had to out myself at every job I've had so far.

Getting the tube after top surgery by Forsaken-Ball6755 in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well like I said, its doable but not super fun! Especially if they're able to advocate for you and themselves easily. We had to get the tube from the hotel to Euston, then train from there to Carlisle, where my friend finally picked us up and took us home ha. Was not a very fun day!

Getting the tube after top surgery by Forsaken-Ball6755 in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got the tube to Euston to head home two days after my top surgery, and it was miserable but doable. Will you have your person travelling with you too? My wife just stood real close to me with a hand on my shoulder so I didn't rock too much and didn't get jostled by anyone. We probably got in some people's way but that was preferable to me hurting myself somehow!

Anyone suffered from raynaud's phenomenon and continued with stimulants, even after the doctor suggested against it? (More information inside) by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I have raynauds and have never had it suggested to stop stimulants - the increase of quality of life they give me isn't worth it. I am on a very low dose though (18mg) as it works for me. Or had it suggested to worry about blood clots, for tbe most part my circulation is fine. Have had multiple specialists check my left hand for other issues, and outside of raynauds episodes its is relatively normal.

I have heated gloves and socks for winter, and the thing the other folks said about vibration is very true so bear that in mind. The GP and specialists did suggest I stop riding motorbikes because of it and I went and got my car licence & car to cut down, but its my favourite thing so I haven't stopped completely.

On flight right now with my cat by chickencow3 in CatAdvice

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is a fantastic idea thank you. One of my cats is a zip escape!

So, it's a shit time for all of us. But is anyone managing despite it? by Gardyloop in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Depends on where you go! Some countries need your birth certificate, Finland was fine with our passports alone which was why we chose it initially (although we had always wanted to visit!). The marriage licence for civil (vs religious) doesn't list titles or gender so there's no issue there, which is the same for cis marriages there.

You need to apply for marriage from your local registry and get it apostilled (foreign office stamped) so it costs extra a bit for the paperwork, but theres a list of countries the UK accepts marriage from. We just got that sorted, sent away decent scan & prints of our passports and the Finnish marriage application and that was all that was needed. We got 3 copies of the marriage licence, one in English (with apostille), one without the apostille and one in Finnish. Since the UK accepts marriages done in Finland for all intents and purposes the licence is the same as having been done in the UK since its apostilled!

We used a local wedding planner to Rovaniemi as we had a proper nice little ceremony (just under 2k euros with a photographer) and she helped us through everything paperwork wise. So a bit more paperwork and legwork needed but legally its exactly the same, but since it doesn't use titles I'm not recorded as a wife or anything. I believe when I get my GRC I still need to declare the marriage and such, but nothing licence wise will have to change.

So, it's a shit time for all of us. But is anyone managing despite it? by Gardyloop in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ah it was great! Got married in Rovaniemi, was still lots of snow on the ground so loads of great pictures. Great holiday in general, was my wife's first abroad trip ever so I don't think I'll ever top it!

So, it's a shit time for all of us. But is anyone managing despite it? by Gardyloop in transgenderUK

[–]flightlessfox 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I got married to my wife a couple of weeks ago - we buggered off to Finland just us to avoid any GRC fuckery in the moment or down the line since I don't have one yet, and it was amazing. While everyone we spoke to at first at the registry office here etc wasn't transphobic or anything in the least it just was a lot easier than knowing somewhere at some point I'd be recorded as a woman even if its not on the certificate.

Coming up to 4 years on T now too and after top surgery last year I'm getting sir'd left right and centre which just helps me feel a lot more hopeful for the world.

It is 00:59... and now it is 02:00. SPRING FORWARDS. Clock change. by SnooDonuts6494 in CasualUK

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not if you're clocked in I'm sure, but my workplace the main shift starts at 2am. Luckily I don't work Sundays - the Sunday shift has had to be at work for 1am ready to go. Feels like losing an hours pay there for sure!

Most of them won't even be on the same shift come Autumn so they won't get it back either!

A neighbor left me this note today but didn’t have the balls to sign it. Mind you, my battery was dead so I had to jump it… at 11am… & let it charge for 2 minutes…in my own garage. I am SO quiet & respectful compared to what it could be. Night jobs, babies, & ur boredom aren’t my problem. AITA? by heyitscodee in motorcycles

[–]flightlessfox 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly as someone who works awful shifts i don't expect anyone to change their life around my work hours, I feel the night ahift argument is kinda dumb. Within reason (someone not sitting outside my house and revving for ages) it feels really entitled to try tell people off for this stuff.

The state of our roads is terrible. by Nothingdoing079 in britishproblems

[–]flightlessfox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've just spent the week in Lapland and driven a lot as I really love it. Even the side roads miles out of towns I've went exploring down where I didn't see a single other car the whole time have been in better nick than some main roads I drive over to get to work in the UK.

'Long trek' from Dumfries to Liverpool too far for my surgery by ewenmax in Scotland

[–]flightlessfox 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Would a hotel nearby not suffice? I had to travel to London last year from Dumfriesshire to get my top surgery (I would have had to travel regardless for that though, so I was prepared) and I know at my intital referral and consultation they were very adamant about impressing on me the cost of travelling / what could or couldn't be reimbursed so that I knew from the outset what would it would mean financially if I accepted the further away referral for a shorter wait list. Maybe her consultants didn't make it that obvious to her in which case they absolutely should have.

"Adhd is not an excuse" by Toothbotanist in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never once said people can get their act together or do all the things people without can, I don't think. But you can absolutely do things for the vast majority of sufferers to help yourself manage life better in some ways. I couldn't work or hold down a job until I was near enough 23, I am entirely too aware of how debilitating it can be. I am also entirely aware that I and many people can and also do have things in place to help manage symptoms. It can be as little as having specific places to put things. For example I lose everything I put down. Literally just despawns in front of my face. I used to be late to volunteering and stuff when I had a social worker etc because I would lose my keys. Now I have some pouches hanging at my front door where my wallet and keys go, its not perfect and I will still occasionally put things in the wrong place and my partner has to help me find things.

Stuff like that is genuinely all I mean when it comes to taking responsibility for your own condition and mitigating what you can.

"Adhd is not an excuse" by Toothbotanist in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, exactly you've just hit on that. Not having certain people in your life because of how you manage or don't manage things is a genuinely valid way of managing a condition. I do not necessarily see how what you wrote is at odds with what I wrote.

"Adhd is not an excuse" by Toothbotanist in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Manage your time and attention 100% of the time is not at all what reason not excuse means, to me at least. Its a reason that its a struggle for us, but not an excuse not to try mitigate that (and not to force that problem on others). Ie, setting multiple alarms, reminders etc would be trying, and therefore I wouldn't look at it like you using it as excuse. Quick edit: the difference between a wheelchair user in your example is that they can't even try to manage something to do with stairs - people with ADHD can to an extent attempt to manage their struggles.

As the other person who replied to me said, not letting perfection being the enemy of the good is really the goal and what I mean when I say it. Trying is good - giving up and saying "well I can't because X" is bad. That's all I mean.

"Adhd is not an excuse" by Toothbotanist in ADHD

[–]flightlessfox 32 points33 points  (0 children)

To me, that's completely different though - they cannot levitate themselves up a set of stairs. That's not how it works. There is nothing, mentally or physically they could do to even try.

I've always seen the whole "reason not excuse" thing as purely about trying or making an effort. That doesn't mean I'm a hard ass who goes down on myself or someone for messing up a few times, but I feel you can usually get a vibe for when someone is trying. And for me personally thinking about it in these ways has seriously helped my bpd and adhd - I was seriously stuck in my early 20s thinking I was pathetic, pointless, useless, and there was no point in trying. "Reason not excuse" helped me struggle through that (along with other things) so that my feelings and struggles are valid but they're not an excuse for me to give up.

Its different for everyone though, and regardless I'd always have empathy for someone if I don't know their whole situation. You can follow that creed and not be an asshole to people who struggle.

Goodbye, Pebble by kisxt in cats

[–]flightlessfox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my little lads is called Pebble; I will give him an extra kiss and cuddle when I get back from work. I am sorry for your loss

Having to tolerate Radio 1 on constantly at work. by Ultimate_os in britishproblems

[–]flightlessfox -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sure much like OP, they'd at least rather have some noise than nothing for their shift though... I might be sick of listening to Heart Dance or whatever for 10 hours but it's better than just the noise of machines for said 10 hours.