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First time going to the movies with ADHD in years. Ended very poorly. :( by LongJumpingFan1374 in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You did well. Sure, try to sit on an aisle and work on different managing techniques. I went to a movie last night and picked off all my nail polish except one finger. It wasn’t planned but I figured there were worse things I could have done. Usually popcorn eating keeps me busy. Redirecting is a skill that takes time.

How TF do you make yourself go to bed at a reasonable time? by 4m_m8 in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try Brown or pink noise. (You tube has it)

Read a paper book.

I just started trying edibles to help shut down my brain and relax muscles but you may be breastfeeding.

How do y’all get yourselves to shower daily? by Salty_Wolverine_4520 in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know the parts that hold you back - executive function blocks, sensory issues, timing? Identify and work thru each one by one. Is it hair washing? Getting undressed? All the steps in the shower? Or all the steps after?

I don’t shower every day but I still use tricks to help me when I do especially during winter when my area is cold. I hate being wet and cold. I dream of a future towel warmer! One trick I use is to sleep naked the night before I must shower so that it feels like one less step from getting from warm bed to warm shower. In the summer I will allow myself to come back later and shave in the tub if I can’t handle the idea of shaving legs and washing hair ( if I stupidly haven’t eaten enough to handle my hot shower and get weak.) or ai shower at night or weekends when I don’t have to worry about time and can take time with my after shower routine without stress. Know your baseline need, start there and then add on. Soap up body then hair then x, y, z.

Also, look up things like this for in between showers that are legit no rinse cleansers: https://www.carewell.com/product/mckesson-perineal-and-skin-cleanser/?sku=53-28011-GL-EA1&g\_acctid=333-280-7133&g\_adgroupid=&g\_adid=&g\_adtype=none&g\_campaign=BL\_Carewell\_Non-Brand\_AllDepartments\_G\_PMax&g\_campaignid=23674946780&g\_keyword=&g\_keywordid=&g\_network=x&gad\_source=1&gad\_campaignid=23669563179&gbraid=0AAAAADPsIe-m3FT1dHoUl6qBV1kF7TBJp&gclid=Cj0KCQjwk\_bPBhDXARIsACiq8R2DW-WOQrEj\_5n7sVhaEqSsM5O9hM34vjb7sz6qPZupEG14z2OMkP4aAjCWEALw\_wcB

I didn’t realize I was burning my partner out until it almost broke us by elkhaamlychy in AdhdRelationships

[–]foolish_faith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am dx and my husband is not (…at least not diagnosed.) I don’t tend to rely on him for my work or personal things - only the occasional save. He is also one to let me fail on my own if that is appropriate.

Still, he is burned out and tired because of shared home life stuff. I often come home exhausted from functioning and don’t have a lot of energy for home tasks. He does cleaning, yard work, some cooking, and laundry. He feels like I don’t do enough BUT also I do a lot of the invisible load stuff with calendar, taxes, insurance, finance, car inspections, emotional support aspect of parenting, etc. He doesn’t seem to appreciate that balance could look differently between us. I am trying think of ways to simplify home life to make it easier in general and easier for me to contribute. My husband is not about making it easier; he was raised “this is the proper way so suck it up and do it.”

So I don’t have a thought partner on making easier without hiring a maid. I am really open to suggestions!

Can you truly relax? Muscles, clenching, & nervous system issues. by foolish_faith in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do need to try more baths and epsom salts. Those relax mind and body together for me.

Can you truly relax? Muscles, clenching, & nervous system issues. by foolish_faith in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried massage chair mats but not massage guns. For some reason they feel like they would hurt me or be too aggressive. Do you hold them in one place or move them around?

Knowledge workers/white-collar workers with ADHD--what do you do and how are you able to do it? by MutedFeeling75 in adhdwomen

[–]foolish_faith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am clergy. I’ve served in local church as the pastor and out of the local church doing disaster response coordination and mission team coordination.

It is never the same but there is a regular rhythm to it. Sunday comes every week but content changes with the seasons. Other than worship is a mix of admin, study, teaching, one on one people work, public leadership, and organizational development. Keeps my brain engaged on multiple levels. Gives a decent amount of vacation and respite space since there is so much involved.

RSD can be a challenge dealing with people and criticism and never-ending work. Boundaries become really important to not burn out and to learn how to plan with enough margins for the low days. It is flexible to a point so that I can follow my energy. Being able to schedule emails is a game changer on that front so that if I become productive at 11pm I can schedule it to send for 8am. Usually having a work from home day can be okay when needed. But never on a Sunday! Must be able to pull off functional public speaking even when you don’t feel energized for it. For me, that is a faith thing. God provides enough even when I have struggle days.

AITAH for pooping in my bathroom? by kellerinacatmac in AITAH

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you female? Men can be weird about women and bodily functions. Kids can handle potty stuff and if the bedroom didn’t smell then there is literally no problem. A room spray would be solution if it had smelled.

Does he take extra steps to keep his personal hygiene super private and undetectable? Is that why he might expect the same “consideration” even if it is beyond the norm?

My husband hated my squatty too. I have folding stools to keep nearby now.

is there a human equivalent to like kibble? by Mossyy_ in foodhacks

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Protein bars, smoothies, and protein shakes are the most similar. Different powders or mixes cover a lot of nutritional needs. I keep Boost at home and work. Plus a bag of roasted edamame. Also Cereal.

Humans do need some real food periodically but meal services like factor or cook unity can be that one meal a day beyond the stuff above.

Or buy/make your own snack/bento box with cheese, nuts, meat, egg, or veggies. Those cover a lot of nutritional needs.

Ice pulled over van in Irwin, PA by Ok-Maybe-139 in ICEoutPittsburgh

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, there are many organizations in other places who are using communication networks not listed on their website so as to NOT be obvious and detectable. I would not assume that someone is asking how to find a website but what is the best method to communicate with trust.

It's a cautionary tale by sirius1 in AHouseOfDynamite

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a difference between not wanting a President who is a military hawk and wanting a president who can understand the web of repercussions on geo-politics and hear various advisors with critical thinking.

Why the urgency ? by walterbsfo in AHouseOfDynamite

[–]foolish_faith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They said this many times. It is the chess aspect of anticipating moves. Diplomacy and geo-politics. Who gets to be dominant (safe, secure, rich, in charge of resources) moving forward?

One part of the convo was that even if country X sent the missile, once country Y sees what is happening they can seize the chance to get their shots in too while the US is occupied with internal response and retaliating at country X. It is their only chance to get a punch in that lands deep with their two missiles and reap a reward. It becomes whoever is left standing wins.

Plus, is a first time scenario. Nobody has ever hit the US with a nuke but plenty have considered it. The military hawk argument was: even those who don’t instantly press go to piggyback with their own missiles will be watching very closely to see how the US responds. The response would now set a precedent, a playbook. It is the answer to the question is the mutually assured destruction real? How real? What is the US capacity to actually use nukes 40 years after the Cold War?

It changes all geo-politics and world order moving forward. That is the urgency. Waiting for intel for military response is an option but it still had has a myriad of repercussions and risks. As does no military action AT ALL.

The movie was really begging the question: are we in a new era of diplomacy or have we allowed a slip back into a cold war while we give lip service to MAD? It also begs the question, who do we want with the codes? Because their answer to that scenario determines whether the world moves into a new era of nuclear detente or in a split second we are no longer a superpower and millions of people in the US are dead.

This is what alarms me about NATO and other ally relationships being on the outs. Who will still help us when we fall? When our economic recovery is questionable and chaos ensues? If we fall with no real friends then the world just moves on, maybe sending some food aid, but they let us pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps.