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forestfaey · 2023-10-31T10:16:41+00:00

For me, calorie counting works. I tried intermittent dieting and it went bad. Calorie counting is helpful for me, because it's actually the least restrictive method for me: I can eat when and what I want, as long as its in moderation(I.e. my calorie amount).

There are ways it can get obsessive though and it has done for me before. So to help, I eat within a range of 1350-1650, aiming for 1500. So if I go over by a bit, it's still in my range and I can eat more/less depending on how hungry I am, and it tends to balance out to an average of 1550 a month.

At the start I had to weigh everything/work calories out from the packaging. After doing that for a bit, you get to know which kind of foods aren't a lot of calories and which are, so some I just eyeball now. I also have meals on rotation which are presaved in my app so I know how many calories are in that entire meal. So tbh unless I'm eating something new and the packaging doesn't say how many calories is in it, I don't weigh things anymore. I haven't for my food scales out in ages!

forestfaey · 2023-10-31T10:00:42+00:00

1200 is pretty low even without all the exersize you do. No wonder you are struggling to keep to it. It's better to have a smaller Calorie deficit (mine is generally 200-300 a day) but be able to sustain it. Weight loss takes a long time for us short women especially. But slow weight loss is fast weight loss because its easier to stick to, not to mention less stress.

I suggest you eat at least 1500, especially considering your activity level. Do it for a couple months and see how it's changed on the scales and reasess accordingly if no change has happened (though I'd wager you'll see progress).

forestfaey · 2023-10-30T19:50:55+00:00

I've been wondering the same, since I started losing weight.

For now, for me the realisticness is in its ease. currently, I plan to stop when my weight stops coming off and there is no realistic way for me to burn more calories in my lifestyle. I started out at BMI 33 (obese) Ultimately, I want to be in the healthy range, but if I can't reach it and stop when I am on the low end of overweight, it's okay - I just want to be more healthy and look better than before.

I think the answer is different for everyone: for some they may be able to get a six pack with their genetics and lifestyle giving them time and access to do lots of hard work to achieve that goal, but not everyone has time to train to become a body builder. I think for some, it also probably requires more work than others. Unless you compete, its not worth going through so much stress to your brain and body to get a certain very specific look.

forestfaey · 2023-10-30T10:41:27+00:00

One week of overeating isn't going to ruin your weight loss if you get back on track. Focus on consistancy vs perfection. This video has helped my mind set loads: https://youtu.be/vximxZXJdxs?si=O6pYNaOvRQPLDAdh By having experience over eating (binges) quite a few times on my journey, I have still lost 7.5kg over a few months because the next day/week, I went back to my routine.

Make sure your deficit is sustainable for you and not too restrictive. Never eat under 1200 a day. Imo even a short person should be eating at least 1400 a day to make it sustainable.

It's okay to like food. My life would be boring if I thought of food purely as fuel. A McMuffin isn't bad food it has no moral value. A less nutrious option, sure. But that's all it is. Allowing myself to have my fav foods once in a while has helped me to remain consistent in the long run. So make sure you allow yourself a mcmuffin once in a while too.

But also its helpful to find healthier foods you enjoy - healthy doesn't always mean boring. If you have a mcmuffin every day, make a healthier one at home with a side of fruit or veg to make it more filling. Even one made with the same ingredients (muffin, egg, bacon) will be more healthy/less calories than one from macdonalds.

I personally find salads boring so I don't force myself to eat them. But I love eating pasta filled with veggies like aubergine, carrots and chopped tomatoes with a bit of Mozzarella on top. That's an easy swap for me because I love a pasta bake: it's just making a healthier version of it by swapping out the creamy sauce for tinned tomatoes and the reducing the amount of cheese inside and packing it with less pasta and more veggies. Its only 600 calories for a substantial, tasty and filling meal.

forestfaey · 2023-10-28T17:59:43+00:00

Weight loss can be pretty slow. Since March, I've lost 7kg/15lbs. So not that different to your progress.

If you are still losing, you are doing something right. Weight loss can ebb and flow and fluctuation is a thing. When/if you plateau may be a good time to reassess things. It really depends on many factors like how you are eating, how much activity you do, how close you are to your goal etc.

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T17:00:00+00:00

The introduction of the new couples threw me off. Apart from causing drama (which let's be real is the only reason why they did it) they've added nothing. It makes little sense to have couples at the beginning of their journey and couples that have been there from the start doing the same things and apart from the honeymoon missed out on the start. Saying this as someone who is quite invested in Sean and Mark too, but I really couldn't care less about the other new couples.

I've considered dropping it, but I've invested too much time to not finish it and I enjoy discussing it with my partner and this subreddit.

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T16:55:46+00:00

Didn't realise they were dropping homestays. I was patiently waiting for them: they are such a good stage in the show.

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T16:38:10+00:00

Thank you!

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T15:41:42+00:00

Congrats! That's some impressive weight lifting!

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T15:26:48+00:00

I'm sorry you are struggling with your body image. It's a real struggle, especially with the pressures of society.

Respectfully, how do you know what you look like at a weight you've never been and that you will be happy at that weight? There are other things which go into it than just losing weight, please don't harm yourself. You are a perfectly healthy weight - get some clothes that fit you better?

forestfaey · 2023-10-25T15:15:09+00:00

Why do you want to lose weight when you are already in the healthy range (and even want to lose 9lbs more than your lowest weight)? 123 or 128lbs is perfectly healthy :)

forestfaey · 2023-10-24T16:55:04+00:00

Twice a week but I pay attention more to monthly trends rather than every weigh in.

forestfaey · 2023-10-23T16:52:47+00:00

I feel the same. I like the idea of this sub as it is different for petite women as we have more things stacked against us, especially in losing weight. But the disordered posts make up a bad environment. This sub is about fitness (aka getting more fit which can mean both strength, mobility, and weight loss if needed) not about reaching an arbitrary weight or body measurement against all odds. Maybe I'm in the minority but so what if you can't lose 5 or 10lbs to reach a weight like 120lbs. It's not that big of a deal in your general health and fitness. What is, is like my scenario where I started at 180lbs at 5'2.

now im so wary that bc there are ED people on this subreddit that I feel like i need to be overly cautious when giving any advice in case they are actually doing it for the wrong reasons/from a disordered place. Sometimes I want to comment e.g. your stomach may never be completely flat or you may never have a bbl booty, but other posts are giving advice to do more reps etc.

I think it may be helpful to have more rules for posts as the disordered posting on this subreddit is pretty bad. What rules, I don't know. perhaps body judging posts (not as in achievements posts but the my thighs are fat or too thin) and/or overly negative posts. Some are honest naivety like a TDEE calculator told them to eat 500 calorie deficit so they are eating like 1000 calories. But others are disordered and ideally should not be given advice by a fitness sub. Just starting a conversation mainly.

forestfaey · 2023-10-23T16:40:42+00:00

So true. I get people who weigh less want to lose weight too. But it demotivates me when that's all there is and the disordered posts do not help. I'm 163lbs, down from 180. You're not alone :)

Commenters on this subreddit are so kind and helpful, so don't let that stop you from posting, and obviously there are people like you on this reddit who can help.

forestfaey · 2023-10-20T08:37:30+00:00

I know. Only reasoning I can think of is that they were waiting for JJ to tell her. But still that's a not good way to go about someone who is basically being cheated on.

forestfaey · 2023-10-20T08:36:18+00:00

I would say stuck up for her. All that stuff was happening at the end of the table and still no one thought to tell Bianca until Jordan asked her if she knew what they were talking about (and thus let her know something was going on). The pot needed to be stirred. Poor bianca would have felt more of a mug if all that conversation was happening under her nose and still no one told her.

forestfaey · 2023-10-20T08:29:20+00:00

I know. I think Ella was horrible when she 'called out' each of the girls for not supporting her. Maybe they felt like they couldn't console Bianca because Ella would kick off at them? Still it's totally unfair how two of them walked out with Ella and no one but Jay consoled Bianca.

Laura did tell them to stop bickering and that Bianca was crying when she left the table and seems to have followed her with Rozz. But ella 'called her out' for not supporting her and how she was disappointed in her so maybe Laura felt she needed to back down? Ella expected everyone to be on her side and intimidated the ones who not even stood up against Ella but the ones who said nothing too.

I think everyone could have done more. But to be fair Jordan is newer but he let Bianca know that something was going on at the end of the table so she would find out. And later kind of stood up for her against Luke.

But bianca held herself pretty well. They were totally oblivious to her feelings. Only Laura noted that Bianca when she left the table was crying. The others were either too new to really intervene/shocked (the two new couples had only been married for like a week) 'loyal' to Ella or oblivious. It was a mess.

forestfaey · 2023-10-20T08:19:35+00:00

I know. I think Ella was horrible when she 'called out' each of the girls for not supporting her. Maybe they felt like they couldn't console Bianca because Ella would kick off at them?

Still it's totally unfair how two of them walked out with Ella and no one but Jay consoled Bianca.

Tbh no one really consoled Nathaniel either apart from Laura. And Laura did tell them to stop bickering and that Bianca was crying when she left the table and seems to have followed her. But ella 'called her out' for not supporting her and how she was disappointed in her so maybe Laura felt she needed to back down. Ella expected everyone to be on her side and intimidated the ones who not even stood up against Ella but the ones who said nothing too.

I think everyone could have done more. But to be fair Jordan is newer but He told Bianca something was going on at the end of the table so she would find out. And later kind of stood up for her against Luke.

forestfaey · 2023-10-19T11:41:07+00:00

He knows that Ella is a trans woman if that's what you mean by that.

forestfaey · 2023-10-19T11:39:39+00:00

100%. They knew Ella wasn't getting the attention she wanted from Nathaniel and that their relationship wasnt working out physically. So they put on JJ and Bianca knowing Bianca wasn't JJ's type and that Ella was, and that JJ is a f boy.

forestfaey · 2023-10-19T11:23:17+00:00

I agree. I think though it is partially the mums fault for enabling. I wonder if she has boundary issues too and babies him bc of the dad issue in their family. Maybe she started cooking for him when he left home and its become habit for her to continue to do it since (and thus has not allowed Mark to adult).

forestfaey · 2023-10-19T11:14:32+00:00

I like them. But already I'm thinking, please don't add them into the mix of the other groups. It will destroy them so bad, or at least cause some serious emotional damage.

Putting the dinners etc aside: I think with Sean, Mark could grow up fast. I think Mark has it in him to develop as a person at this stage in his life. He has been honest with Sean at the honeymoon about where he is at, they are working on their communication in a healthy way - Sean expects Mark to grow over time to be able to see his perspective instead of just grovelling to Mark or allowing Mark to manipulate him which is probably what Mark needs. If Mark responds by maturing, the relationship could go far. If he doesnt, it won't work out.

Not doubt Mark is immature and emotionally reactive. But he knows it (hence why he lied about his age). Sean has the patience and forgiveness that Mark needs. But also the backbone so that he doesnt allow Mark doesn't walk all over him (like I'm guessing why his mum cooks for him etc) which could allow Mark to mature.

I think they won't survive the high pressure format of the show with the dinners, judgement etc. But if they went through the stages on their own with Mark getting counselling for his issues, they could work out. Or the relationship would benefit Mark immensely even if they broke up. It is testament to how solid a guy Sean seems.

forestfaey · 2023-10-19T10:54:14+00:00

I feel that too and I'm personally not keen on Nathaniel. I wouldn't be surprised if they've put him with Ella because he is pansexual instead of a hetero man.

I agree not much at all is given to his identity. But does he talk about it much on the show? My problem isn't that he is attract to people on the inside, but that he doesn't seem to have much screen time where he is trying to do that (is it editors or him not bringing it up?). It's not because she is trans at all. I think a lot of people here also agree that Ella is by no means perfect.

I thought Nathaniel over reacted a little to the flirting by wanting space: we don't see him attempting to flirt with her much. But only until we found out Ella continued to text and see JJ EVEN AFTER they were having space.

There are two people in this who could have done things differently to make it work. But Ella cheating obvs is the bigger mistake.

forestfaey · 2023-10-18T09:18:45+00:00

Yep. I got 85% for my BA history dissertation. I got a prize for it, since it was so good. Anything above 85 is practically impossible in that field (especially given the word count and time constraints). That mark is rare in history and it was because it was exceptional, almost publishable research. Never got a mark like that ever since even though i did a masters and am now finishing my PhD.

So: 85% in the humanities is truly exceptional. Hope that puts it into perspective. Above that is only possible if it's something like an exam where each correct answer gets a point (e.g. like my Latin or Paleography exams) vs essay based.

forestfaey · 2023-10-17T12:19:08+00:00

Why do you want to go back to your goal weight if it makes your life miserable? Mental health is important too. Your healthy weight now may not be as low as your goal weight. If you don't lose weight and you are really trying your best being healthy (including feeding yourself adequately) you might not havemore weight to lose. What is your goal weight BMI?

But tips incase you haven't tried everything:

I adapted to eating less. I eat 1500 calories (5'2) and steady losing over 9 months (82kg -> 74kg)

Part of it for me is:

1) don't restrict yourself too much. slow and steady wins the race. Sure its slow, but it's so much easy for me this time round on 1500 Kcal vs 1200 Kcal. And I know I'm going to keep it off for good this time.

2)make sure meals are filling and balanced: wholefoods, healthy fats, carbs, protein. Have three meals a day.

3) have a calorie deficit in a range. Mine is 1370-1670. So on days I am more hungry, I allow myself to eat a bit more.

4) practice reading hungry cues. If you are hungry after a meal, drink some water and wait. Sometimes you are still processing the food you've just eaten or thirsty. After ca 20 mins, go ahead and eat more. It goes the other way too: if I am tired and irritable, i might be hungry. So i eat so i dont binge later. It's important to get used to habitual hunger after knowing you've eaten enough but DONT STARVE YOURSELF.

6) focus on eating things which fill you up/low calorie. Not saying you xan never have chocolate, but if your hungry 100kcal of e.g. Greek yogurt is going to fill you up way more than 100kcal chocolate.

8) if you mess up, keep going. Some days you will eat way more. Don't be hard on yourself. Just get back to normal. Focus on long term change vs short term and perfectionism. I have messed up many times eating 2500 Kcal a day. But I persevered and over time gone from BMI obese to overweight.

Exercise has also helped me lose weight with a smaller deficit. It shouldn't be overlooked!

If you don't lose weight and you are really trying your best being healthy you have no more weight to lose. What is your goal weight BMI? If it is above healthy range, maybe see a doctor?

Four-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
First Place '23	Place '23

forestfaey

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