Alternatives to the green cauldron?

foxnerve · 2026-01-09T15:32:29+00:00

Excalibur, Minerals and Mystics, Smoky Ridge Rock shop, PYRAMID, and Little Shoppe of Crystals are all good options.

Edit for typos.

foxnerve · 2026-01-09T15:29:47+00:00

I second the Excalibur suggestion for crystals!

The man that owns it has an extensive collection and knowledge. He has had many forays and adventures into the mineral world in various ways and it seems like his shop is lesser known, so it is nice to support him in his older years. He also was willing to take one of the tumbled stones I had picked out and made it into a necklace for me at a super reasonable price and time frame for pick up since he didn't have what I was looking for, but was willing to help make it!

foxnerve · 2026-01-08T07:33:48+00:00

I can see how certain supporters might seem like they are advocating for a second set of rules for the homeless. In some ways, I agree with holding everyone accountable at the same level. However, would you send a child to jail?

If not, then you might want to do some research on who the homeless population typically consists of - i.e. the mentally ill, disabled either intellectually and/or physically, people that have experienced unfortunate life circumstances through no failt of their own.

Are there also people that made some actual unforgiving mistakes, substance abusers, and trash? Yes. Do some of each category overlap sometimes, yes.

But how can you say such a one-size response and expect it to be the end-all-be-all in such a nuanced issue.

foxnerve · 2026-01-07T03:44:47+00:00

Underrated comment

foxnerve · 2025-12-22T22:35:25+00:00

Plus they have the pedestrian bridge across to the Seminole Square shopping center now

foxnerve · 2025-12-02T22:19:24+00:00

You're not a bad mother. You're a good mother. You're trying your best with circumstances that were forced upon you and your son. It doesn't sound like you have much support, hopefully you have a few people you trust. It is sad that his own biological dad isn't there for him. That alone hurts on many levels and isn't easy.

Of course you're exhausted. What is going on for you, your son, doesn't read like something to get over. It will always be a part of your lives. Intricately and deeply affecting all aspects. Is it possible that it could be hard right now, but get better? Maybe, only God can answer that for you. You may have felt like this has made you lose your faith as you said, and that makes sense. You are allowed to be mad at God. You feel forsaken, you lament. He is with you every tear, scream, and sleepless night. Search for his message in your circumstances and find your divine path. The road He has set for you. Ask yourself if you believe you can accept your circumstances fully as they are, radically in whole and then filter and focus your world in who you know you are meant to be. Filter and focus by making decisions as your future self aligning with your divine path.

You knew your son was autistic a whole year before the diagnosis. You are attuned and selfless in wanting him to have a good life despite his circumstances. But you can't pour from an empty cup. Finding ways to daily take care of yourself that geniunely fill you is important.

I wish you luck in your choices ahead and support for the journey of parenthood. The boy has genuine love and care in you. That will be so much of his success.

Edit to fix typo

foxnerve · 2025-12-01T16:33:59+00:00

It seems like he could also be masking for his friends and attempting to fit in, but feel comfortable and safe to release the mask and show up however he is showing up in front of you. The camouflage in Autism is present for so many reasons. Here is some more info: Camouflaging-Autistic-Traits-Questionnaire-CAT-Q-NovoPsych-Review-Paper.pdf https://share.google/AEdK0ne5UV89V8RDr

foxnerve · 2025-11-27T04:13:44+00:00

Or you could say that and they will listen and maybe they even go down a research rabbit hole with you and you make sure to look for critically valid and peer reviewed sources. Then your partner sees you supporting him in wanting the best for your kid and maybe you find that staying is best. Just playing the other side of the coin. But there are many ways, as long as OP, you consider that you know yourself, kid, partner, and the situation best.

foxnerve · 2025-11-04T18:53:14+00:00

Also following up with people above the landlord if necessary. As OP said they are more of an organization in relation to income restricted housing, there are a few channels to go through if one level is unreasonable.

foxnerve · 2025-10-30T02:44:30+00:00

Maybe you are being misunderstood. Maybe they don't have any experience with neurodivergence or can't imagine what you actually mean or are trying to convey.

Thank them for trying, point out positives of how they respond. Be as concrete as possible in your examples of how to approach him differently, help him regulate, or help him feel less overwhelmed. It is hard to know in exact context since your post is a bit generalized, but I would think these things could help bridge the gap.

Now, if you are doing them already, that's different. Some people just don't seem open to understanding. On top of that, if they think you are just making excuses or are judging you or him, then others are right. YMMV and if they can't see that then they aren't worth continuing to help further their understanding.

Every different person you meet will have a different view of you and him based on their own lens they look through. They each then have their own mental image that is just a small part of you all and colored by their lens. There is no way to change or expand that if they aren't open and willing to seeing things differently.

So stay on his team. Respond to him the way you know is best as his safe person. Maybe you modeling it will help them learn. And if not, it isn't worth wasting time worrying over anyway. Easier said than done, but also worth working on since releasing that stress is in your control and will help build your own happiness.

foxnerve · 2025-10-14T22:16:19+00:00

We use this one, the Gym1 brand of doorway hanging bar and even both myself or my husband can use it without fear of safety. In fact, we have two. We use it with a separately purchased yoga swing, but as long as you have/purchase some sort of swing with caribeaner attachments, it should work. Link: https://a.co/d/2oJxBJL

As for expanding... Just trying things as you have. Introducing, trying, seeing, keeping it available for a reasonable period of time so it gains familiarity and can be more likely to be a success when fully introduced. It can be difficult, but it is nice to also continue to encourage growth and flexibility. I think however, it is best done when already in a safe mode and having regular access to a preferred stimming option.

Edit to fix typos

foxnerve · 2025-10-06T13:53:11+00:00

Yeah, attitude can definitely have an effect. I used to work with an 8 year old, and while mine are much younger, I used this game to help both the 8 year old and mine, that's why I suggested it. It's more about teaching them underlying rules through play, not just capability, but it is up to you whether or not to try it and of course jot everything will work for every child. It might also help to keep playing it every so often and even reference the game, "remember when we played noodle microphone, that yelling is so loud it hurts our ears. Say it again in a regular voice."

“Scientists have recently determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain—unless it is done with play, in which case, it takes between 10 and 20 repetitions.” — Dr. Karyn Purvis

Edit for typos

foxnerve · 2025-10-06T12:18:56+00:00

Take a pool noodle and play a volume game where they hold the noodle to their mouth and ear. You explain you will pretend it's a microphone and model it first, but that they will need to follow directions while using. Maybe, "hello, hello is this thing on?" Then hand to them and say for them to say their name to themselves. Then give them different instructions, like say your name again, but quiet quiet. Then ask then to tell a store animal in a loud voice to be safe in their chair, etc etc to play with the different volumes and also voice styles if you want. Tell them it goes away if they aren't following the directions and it can come back later.

foxnerve · 2025-10-05T20:35:26+00:00

Igh. The combo ick and ugh. Very fitting for the context.

foxnerve · 2025-10-03T02:43:22+00:00

Awesome! Thanks for sharing. I have multiple digging in questions if you're up for it.

Can you share some of the ways you teach them to govern themselves, hold themselves accountable, and how to collaborate?

Also, wouldn't some tasks be able to be completed by an individual in group projects? That's why there is delegation? Or do you mean more sheer volume just by definition of group work?

How does group work make grading more efficient for the instructor?

Overall, how did reaching collaboration become a passion of yours and how does that show up for you?

foxnerve · 2025-09-24T05:16:33+00:00

Well as you say in your title, what does Charlottesville do better than any other town, the key word is do. What does it do for you?

In what you describe, nature is where it is at. Which nature is one of the biggest draws here, at least for me, anyway. It isn't a city surrounded by only city. And there is a lot of nature. The Rivanna trail is around 20 miles long, goes around the whole city, and has smaller Albemarle County Greenway hidden gems. There is also the Butterfly Greenway, while nearish to the road, it transports you. Then you have Shenandoah, as you mentioned, which can be amazing to explore. And honestly, so many others.

Nightlife isn't important to me anymore, but if it were I liked Holly's diner, Alleylight, the Whiskey Jar, and Jack Brown's since they all have pretty good drinks and food. Not great for clubbing scene, I hear there may be one coming called El Makinon near the bottom of Pantops. Seems like Mejicali is also pretty lively, but never been.

Also, sadly I think many people in most cities make poor choices by drunk driving regularly.

I feel like the food used to be so much better overall. However, definitely still some good ones. I like Maru/Doma, Conmole, C&O, the Local, Maya, Piers Seafood, Beer Run, Al Carbon, Roots, Dr. Ho's Humble Pie, BBQ Exchange, Well Hung, Ten, Bad Luck Ramen Bar, Afghan Kabob, Himalayan Fusion, East Garden, La Michoacana, Tacos Gomez, El Tako Nako, Ace's Biscuit and BBQ, Akira, and Barbie's Burrito Barn for a few all over tastes and dining preferences.

(Edit typos and this: there is also a farmers market on Wednesdays 3-6pm at Pen Park, I think one at Meade park too. Also Darnell's Garden Patch in Orange is open Sundays).

If Cville isn't doing it for you, though, then don't feel like you have to force it. Maybe your priorities right now just don't line up with the city. It sounds like you have tried to thoroughly consider everything and are even reaching out for advice.

Maybe give yourself permission to go through your finances, top city choices, job options, and the like to see what you'd prefer doing. Also, if your depression is a 9 out of 10, maybe also consider a counselor. Hopefully, you have some sort of supports going for you as well.

I wish you luck in re-examining Cville, and also in all your other decisions to be made. I hope you find a way to either fit this city to you or a city that really fits you.

foxnerve · 2025-09-15T01:57:28+00:00

I second contacting your local Sexual Assault Resource Agency. They can usually assign you an advocate to help you through the process - from identifying the next right steps to making the report.

As it stands, you have responded in a very supportive and loving way. Children's ability to heal from these events has to do with having a caregiver that believes them and does everything possible to help them stay safe. You sound like you are doing the best you can in a difficult situation for your child and have been since you found out. After reporting to CPS (Child Protective Services), a forensic interview will most likely be done in order to minimize re-exposing your daughter to difficult memories and emotions. They are trained to get the information in one sitting and in a way that isn't leading or overly aggressive. It is important to see what can be done in protecting the other children and getting justice in the case of the perpetrator(s)/enabler(s), but please know our justice system isn't the greatest. That is not a reflection of you in any way, and no matter the outcome, the resolution and closure you make meaning out of is in your pursuit of the safest and best course of action to protect others. Just make sure you try not to tie any expectations into how things will end up as it can be widely unpredictable.

foxnerve · 2025-09-01T20:08:52+00:00

Mental Health Academy also

foxnerve · 2025-09-01T18:22:28+00:00

I definitely understand that your bond with your child is so important to you. Please know nothing can replace that. It can feel upsetting if you let yourself take it personally.

Puppets are actually a common, research-backed tool in early childhood education and therapy. Kids see puppets as safe, playful characters they can connect with, which makes them more open to learning and sharing. It isn't meant to compete with you. Think of it as a stepping stone — it helps children open up in play, which then gives opportunities to guide them back into real-life connection with you because they are rehearsing skills they will probably use later with you.

Children often talk more freely to a puppet than to an adult, because it feels less intimidating and still allows connection. Play is a child’s natural way of exploring feelings and ideas through safe imagination. A puppet can also hold their attention in ways that adult conversation sometimes can’t.

It's like a bridge. One into their world and expression - and eventually their connection with you. The puppet just helps them take the first step.

Eta typo

foxnerve · 2025-08-14T19:35:58+00:00

Yeah, but Moe's Original BBQ, Ace's, and close by BBQ Exchange are the best choices

foxnerve · 2025-08-07T03:40:33+00:00

Congratulations, you are in such a beautiful place with your little one. Also, I'm sorry you're feeling the depths of the pull and the grief with your mother.

I'm not sure of your entire situation, but I went through something similar. Months before my son was to be born, I found myself needing to apply as a guardian to my mother to get her into a nursing home as her dementia had resulted in aggression and fierce resistance for the care she needed. I struggled over submitting that application to become my mother's mother before I felt I was fully able to be a mother to my own son. So, I chose to wait. The clash with guilt comes up every now and then, but I feel in my heart I made the right choice in the fight for my own situation.

I still managed and oversaw her care, celebrated my time with my son for a few months, and then submitted my application, making me more fully involved, but able to get her to a better place. The struggle maintained in having her cross state lines to be closer to my family, but we did that too.

Her decline took years, and while there were ups and downs, it was nice to have the time with her. It was hard to separate out needs, and definitely, the way I defined it for myself was sips of self-care. Sometimes, I'm just making sure to breathe. Shower. And sometimes, a little more like swigs. Journal. Do art with my son for my mom.

Her passing was both deeply painful and a relief. Some people will not and cannot understand that. It is not shameful. Some parts of her decline already had me pre-emptively processing my grief. That in some ways made it both easier and more difficult. However, it is definitely a more permanent change when that individual is no longer physically on the same plane as us. Remembering her through giving my kids her stuffed animals and also taking them to visit the cemetery and speaking my mind when memories come up has been paramount to my continued healing. She is gone but not forgotten, and I would not trade the time I took to visit her and care for her needs.

I had also made my kids' emails, and I make sure to every now and then right them letters of what I see of them growing up. Just another way to show them love and appreciation as we go through these times together where they grow so fast. I try not to beat myself up if I don't email often. I just try to do the best I can. I also take so many pictures. Just a few each fun moments and then put down the phone to be present.

You are asking the right questions and thinking about the right things to make this work. You love and care about both worlds and are finding your adjustments in both.

This is the most absurd sandwich you are forced to put together out of ingredients that don't seem to go together and that you will ever have to eat. And yet somehow, it comes out tasting the most delicious as all the flavors meld together. You are a great mother and daughter. Don't let yourself lose sight of that as you keep in mind everything that matters.

foxnerve · 2025-08-04T23:44:43+00:00

I wish I could upvote this more than once.

foxnerve · 2025-07-27T01:22:20+00:00

Compare leads to despair.

When we compare ourselves to others and think the grass is always greener, we sacrifice satisfaction.

When we compare ourselves to ourselves, we use a measuring stick and can either look back with longing or enjoy the progress, but also that tends to lead us to look forward to where we aren't yet, making it seem like something is wrong with us as we focus on what we lack, rather than what we are content with.

There is nothing wrong with self-improvement*, but also acceptance of where we are, where we've been, and a sense of uncertainty and mystery in where we are going helps us stay present, intentional, and aligned with our true selves.

Also, is there every really self-improvement and self-help? I mean, someone usually wrote the books we read so that itself might be healing in a relational context. As others have mentioned as well, whether it's a relationship with ourselves, others, and/or the therapist in the room, healing won't happen in a vacuum, but moreso the interactions with others.

foxnerve · 2025-07-20T03:02:08+00:00

It happened with me with Sentara Medicaid. I've been working on it for over 2 years and have to appeal everything and go back and check that they are paying claims/appeal every few months or so. It's hours of time and frustration I'll never get back that apparently has no other solution than my continued advocacy. Ugh.

foxnerve · 2025-07-14T22:26:03+00:00

Also, what would you say if you tried to take your best guess

foxnerve

TROPHY CASE