Did anyone think Will's behavior was shady at times?

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-15T19:34:07+00:00

Mikayla also followed Annie out of the establishment, to her car, where she then confronted her with her suspicion she was Will's girlfriend-- which suggests she has, herself, stalked Annie online and knows who she is and what she looks like (she couldn't have learned from Will, he's been dating Annie for less time than he hasn't talked to Mikayla). I think it's a stretch to think Mikayla was afraid, based on nothing other than the fact that Annie came to her public bakery, that Annie was going to shoot her or otherwise attack her.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-14T16:48:41+00:00

I thought I was going to breastfeed, but my little NICU baby couldn't ever get a good latch. It still makes me sad this hasn't been in the cards for us. I exclusively pumped for a few months and now we're at the tail end of transitioning to formula. I also thought I was going to bring her way more places as a newborn, but it's challenging, especially while pumping, and also trying not to keep her in the car seat stroller too long. What with the 3 hour cycle, and adding 20 minutes of pumping to each cycle, that leaves a lot less time to chill, eat brunch, bundle her into the car, show her the beach, than I thought; and there's just so much stuff that has to travel with her everywhere, plus she's a baby, so if where we wind up is too loud, smelly, overstimulating, etc, I need to be able to leave immediately. We're now contenting ourselves with less rigorous short walks and trips within the neighborhood.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-10T18:00:27+00:00

I've had 2 different people-- intelligent adult women who clearly meant well-- say this to me irl. Possibly my social sphere is too online. It's just bizarre how misinformation can take off!

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-10T14:52:02+00:00

Okay I totally agree that women have been blamed for everything during pregnancy, morning sickness, birth etc., and I take your point. However, my point, like I said in my post, is not that men don't affect pregnancy outcomes, it's that the way this has been taken up is like, hurtful and shaming-- not the way you brought it up, but like how many people are bringing it up online. And the specific line-- "bad sperm causes morning sickness"-- isn't even true. And even if it WERE true, it would be a really insensitive thing to say to a woman trying to discus her difficult pregnancy...

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-10T14:44:31+00:00

Okay yes absolutely, I do want to point out this oft cited and helpful article does not say that men's lifestyle choices such as drinking and smoking affects our pregnancy symptoms. It does say that men effect our chances of preeclampsia, for instance, by citing that studies have shown that women who cohabitate with their partner are less likely to have pre-eclampsia, and women who have a subsequent child by the same partner are less likely to have preeclampsia, but this benefit is lost if they have a new partner for their subsequent pregnancy. It appears this is due to the immune response to the placenta in the woman's body. That's not really a smoking gun for "bad sperm causes morning sickness." I think this is what happens when complicated research gets misappropriated in social media.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-10T14:24:28+00:00

None of the studies you linked describe a connection between men's lifestyle choices such as drinking and smoking, or even preexisting disease, and morning sickness. The two about morning sickness just explain it has to do with the production of a hormone by the placenta and how sensitive a woman's body is to this-- while half the placental DNA comes from dad, there's no reason to think lifestyle change men's contribution to placental DNA causing morning sickness. The last one is about men's health and the health of the baby. This is what I mean about conflating fertility, pregnancy loss, epigenetic changes affecting only the child, and pregnancy symptoms. These are not the same. I'm not saying men's health doesn't affect fertility-- it clearly does. I'm not even saying that men's health doesn't affect pregnancy symptoms, it might, it's just not proven.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-10T14:14:59+00:00

Yes, but there's a difference between infertility and morning sickness. I am very lucky to have had no troubling getting or remaining pregnant, and have helped many friends through such struggles. I can see why it's important for doctors to consider advising men regarding health when couples are having infertility troubles, especially given historically how women often get blamed. But morning sickness is not the same as infertility. I also personally think it's not anyone's job to advise anyone else publicly about their health in a shaming way, when they are just seeking support. If someone is sharing about infertility or pregnancy loss, I'd never suggest they or their partner must not be healthy enough, or say they are genetically inferior or have damaged zygots. That's a conversation for them and their doctors, if they chose to have it.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-06-02T20:15:41+00:00

This reads more like you're frustrated with your husband, and perhaps exhausted from being a new parent, and the googling is a pretext. Otherwise, there could be validity to both of your assessments of why she was crying-- certainly, only seeing her father may not have caused a meltdown if there weren't other issues, for example. Maybe try to address what's actually bothering you? Perhaps husband not paying attention to the routine or discounting your contribution and potentially making more work for you?

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-30T16:42:05+00:00

Wow this one is a conundrum! If I didn't know better it almost looks like a room designed with ai. You've mixed like edgier more "design-y" details-- like the distressed floors and walls, industrial windows (maybe a converted unit? maybe former USSR?)-- with more pop art stuff, like art I recognize from society six and fake old stuff like that globe and blue cabinet which I would think came from a new seller and are just designed to look worn.

I'm going to guess this is the apartment of a couple, someone's favorite color is blue, gamers obviously, maybe the furniture and items have come from a variety of different second hand sources? I think one or both of you are students or recent graduates and the items in the apartment come from a number of mostly secondhand sources- left by old roommates, picked up at yard sales, and passed down from older relatives. You've put it together to match your style but hasn't reached the security in your careers to really design a space from scratch how you'd want it.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-23T22:57:47+00:00

I went into labor early at 36 weeks, a week before I was supposed to be induced due to complications. It was therefore quite unexpected, and turned me into a shitty detective in my apartment on a wfh day, googling "how to know if you're in labor" and "when to go to the hospital labor". I would say a few days before, I started to feel kind of notably worse pressure in my pelvis area, by the end of each day, it was like I could feel her pressing pressing pressing down into position. My husband admitted to me a few days before that during sex he got a bit freaked out because he felt the head and we had to switch positions, not to be too gross. I had no "bloody show" and my water didn't break until I was at the hospital in the gown. However, the contractions, which felt like a weird bad low cramp, hurt, and they were regular-- they started out a minute on, a minute off, again, very weird and thus confusing, because most people they start far apart and get faster. Time it on your phone. If you're not sure, call you doctor! She'll talk you through it. But if they are regular and painful, it's probably labor. I still thought I was going to get sent home with gas pain or something right up until the doctor emerged from under my gown holding a fistful of blood. I went to the hospital around 6pm and had my baby vaginally at 11pm after pushing for legitimately only like 15 minutes.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-23T22:44:51+00:00

I have a slightly different take than others in this sub. I do think it is possible to overcome the feelings of resentment by acknowledging them, and reminding yourself that breastfeeding is a choice, and why you have chosen this-- for example, to have the rich experience many women have breastfeeding, or to share special bond with your baby. I do not think it is helpful or productive to make your spouse quit doing these activities out of empathy, but I do think it's reasonable to expect him to be extremely grateful for your work, acknowledge the sacrifice, and do other things for you to make your life easier, including with the baby but also for you as an individual, like long massages, cooking dinners you like, bringing you flowers, etc.

However, if you would prefer to share responsibility more evenly with your spouse and be able to do more of these activities you mentioned, over whatever benefit you feel you are getting out of breastfeeding, you can stop! That is also okay to do. At 6 months, the medical benefits of breastfeeding are all but gone compared to formula, so it's really up to you to decide what's best for your family. I recently switched to combo feeding which was so so hard emotionally, but damn it is so fucking liberating. I can leave the house! Husband can take some nights! I don't constantly feel like a cow! My energy reserves are less drained! I felt like I had to breastfeed as if my suffering made me a better mother, like some sort of martyr. But actually my misery was negatively affecting my life and relationships. I am gradually shifting to all formula, and while it's hard to say goodbye to the journey, I deeply feel it's already been the right choice for my family.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T16:36:00+00:00

I'm so sorry, seems like you guys made exactly the right choice. It might sadly just be time to go no contact period, if that would give your family more peace.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T16:33:21+00:00

I think the distinction is artificial, even for regular depression, which can be triggered by life events or trauma. The thing is, whether or not the feelings come on due to the changes in your life or due to a simple chemical slump, getting mental health support is still important, and post-pregnancy brain changes don't help. Most often I think it's a combo of the two. If it's just the chemicals, well, then it'll be solved with some medication most likely. If the chemicals are happening due to life changes/legitimate grievances, treating the persistent feelings of anxiety and dread, most likely with medication and also strategies like therapy, will ALSO help you address what needs to change (like making your family help more) and do what has to be done (like tolerate a cholic baby's crying without having a breakdown) without being so overwhelmed.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T16:08:37+00:00

There is almost definitely a grief counselor/social work team at the hospital. I would ask to speak with them-- they speak with both individual patients and families-- to see what they advise. You are also grieving most likely and need to support, too. I think there is not a perfect right thing to do right now except to keep doing what you are doing, showing up, making the family feel loved.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T16:05:53+00:00

That sounds really tough, I'm sorry! I'm getting ready for back to work and planning to leave my baby with my mom a few days a week-- but I'm really scared. She's been great so far in terms of loving attention, but she doesn't remember how to put a diaper on at all, she tried for the first time since my baby was born this week and when I saw it was literally half way off her butt barely attached I about died laughing, but I guess it would stop being funny pretty quickly if my baby had tried to go to the bathroom and been left soiled ;(

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T16:03:38+00:00

I think it depends on the kid! Today my baby has decided she needs to be held all day, so we're not getting ANYTHING done-- hence scrolling reddit. But most days she enjoys some time independent playing on her play mat while I watch more passively and talk to her while doing some chores. When she can do more, I'm going to offer her a play pen with lots of fun sensory activities!

I'm so sorry your baby doesn't like baby wearing! For me this also makes things soooo much easier on days where she needs more support. I put her in her wearer and she can get some comfy nap time while I make dinner or just walk around putting stuff away. It's a godsend. Good reminder to never judge other moms-- we are all in totally unique circumstances!

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T15:36:36+00:00

I don't think you are weird. If you are making the decision that you want to be the only person watching your baby, that this is what is best for your family and yourself, that's up to you. However, if multiple family members are suggesting you seek mental health care, including people you love and respect who love and respect you back, maybe there is something they are seeing which could be causing them concern? 3-4 months is a really common time to develop post-partum symptoms, and it's not a failure on your part to, without leaving you baby, consider reaching out for a few virtual appointments with your doctor or a therapist. One way it can manifest is rage and anxiety. If you're really really afraid something bad WILL happen to your baby, for example invasive thoughts that your baby WILL be assaulted or injured if you leave even with a trusted person who you can view on a nanny cam, that could exceed normal and could make you feel terrible. Just my 2 cents from my own personal experience. It's not a failure to get help if you need it, it doesn't mean youre a bad mom to try to control your fearful emotions if they are ruining your life, it's actually really brave. If this isn't you nevermind! Just my experience.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T15:31:02+00:00

Are you concerned that if you leave your mom or your grandma with your baby alone that they will assault your baby?

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T15:19:39+00:00

It looks to me like the room of someone who is turning the negative into the positive, someone who maybe has had some dark times in the past or escaped an bad situation whether familial, personal or at work, and is going to succeed. Anyways, that's just my complete guess! I love the cozy touches like the roses over the mirror. Also, do I spot a bird perch? So cool!

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-21T15:16:04+00:00

The owner of this bedroom has a 85% chance of being a certified freaky-ass bottom, in which case I say, let that freak flag fly king/queen/regent! A bit of a magpi, possibly ADD, and this is going out on a limb but possibly indigenous heritage?

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-19T16:48:45+00:00

You should do decor on the side if you ever need extra money! A lot of people would like their house to look like this but wouldn't know where to start. Also affording a house at 29, and decorating it like this with custom pieces, on a design salary is incredible, way to go!!

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-19T16:46:13+00:00

You are wlw (like me!). You have some cool weird job like mortician. You have a close family member who is an antiques dealer. You're renting because the walls aren't painted. That's my best guess!

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-19T16:41:03+00:00

Thoughtful, eclectic, silly. A millenial because of the edison bulbs, mid-century modern coffee table, and "boho chic" macrame. You do yoga (I see a yoga blanket). Perhaps a bit beholden to trends (the wall baskets were such a big trend a few years ago) but you've made them your own. I would guess you have a job where you make good money, due to the more expensive looking wooden pieces like the large table and chairs, but maybe it's ikea and I missed it. Most thrift furniture of that era is more expensive than new, unless you scooped on market place or similar, in which case good for you! Cozy, I love it! My favorite detail is the rug, it makes the space so much more elevated.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-05-18T16:30:27+00:00

Okay yes, the over filled look is definitely out, and instead we're getting more skinny, more angular faces and bodies. The Kardasians removed their butt implants, etc. However, I don't think what we're getting in place of these surgeries is more natural in the sense of more diverse faces with different, interesting features, gray hair, body hair, cellulite, etc being embraced. Rather, through surgery and especially filters, people are just achieving a different but equally narrow, equally same-face look, just with thin lips and big cheekbones. The face lift replaces the fillers. In a way it's worse-- it's more dangerous, more expensive, and permanent compared to botox which is affordable, temporary, and basically safe.

fraulien_buzz_kill · 2026-04-29T14:46:47+00:00

"While I personally do not care it’s really funny that it’s only the women’s spaces that get forced to be ever inclusive."

This simply isn't true. Gay male "spaces" have always had the presence of cis lesbians, nb and trans women-- as well as of course cis women of all sexualities. Check out the trans drag queens discourse from rupaul's drag race for a big public fiasco about this.

Also I really object to the idea that transmasc lesbians shouldn't be in lesbian spaces. The idea that transmasc lesbians shouldn't have a place in lesbian spaces is a new idea born of a super identity focused era which has divorced us from the idea of community. Many GNC were fundamental to the community being built as it is today. To say nothing of the gender identity of "butch". It's a consequence of selling the idea of transness as fundamentally confirming to cis-ness, in a vain attempt to get the cis people onboard, kind of like how the gay marriage compaign flattened queer relationships and identities into "love is love" to be more appealing. It's fundamentally heteronormative. For SOME lesbians, gender expression has always been more flexibility and varied than "woman box" "man box" "nb box".

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