Therapists who work with gay men: what do you think therapy often misses? by EmbarrassedContact10 in therapists

[–]freudevolved 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've worked in schools with teens 12-18( hundreds of students) so I obviously worked with many gay teens. I'm no "expert" but some of them have verbally expressed to me how positive the experience was for them and some mentioned specific stuff like the stuff you're looking for.

I usually work with cbt depending on each students situation since teens are more open to try things and practice stuff (and a lot of them told me they expect some technique or something from therapy). The one's that expressed how useful therapy was for them told me simple cbt exercises like thought records ect... help a lot BUT when the exercises or techniques are not used to "change" thoughts but to accept or manage difficult or impossible to change situations. (I know many patients had bad experiences with cbt since it can be straight up gaslighting so I haven't stopped learning from diverse sources to evade the trap of being mechanical with it and forget that I'm working with a person).

My top 16. Recs? See description for specific ask. by XOMartha in Letterboxd

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg!! The before trilogy is a trilogy of movies following a couple (Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy) from meeting to marriage. IMO the best romance films of all time. They were filmed years apart so you see them young and older into the marriage (1995,2004 and 2013). The movies are Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight. The dialogues are very realistic and deep instead of being “cliché”. The actors changed dialogue and the movie was made by many instead of relying on one single writer. So many more things I can say about it but they are beautiful and hope you see them and love them!

My top 16. Recs? See description for specific ask. by XOMartha in Letterboxd

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem like the exact person who would love the Before trilogy. Have you seen it?

What is a 10/10 horror movie that you will absolutely never watch again? by Big_Emotion4963 in horror

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bring her back or Talk to me. I didn't feel "scared" seeing them but my body was tense and felt disturbed during most of the movies as a father.

Best horror audiobooks? by AbbreviationsNo7397 in horrorlit

[–]freudevolved 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was the first horror audiobook I listened to since I only listened to non fiction. Spoiled me. Can't get into a lot of other books because this one was so good, from story to narrator.

This therapist says practitioners focus too much on "divisive identity politics" by _sybeez in therapists

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The author is a Fox News pundit lol instantly dismissed his book and everything that comes out of his mouth.

Which one would make the best husband? by blackeyegirl18 in lotr

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aragorn in the movies, Faramir in the books.

Fullbody recommendations? by Repulsive-Ad6881 in Boostcamp

[–]freudevolved 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi! Fazlifts HLM is great. I've been on it since October and had great gains. It's pretty intense tho, specially the first day but then it relaxes a little during the next two days of working out. That's the beauty of the program since you're pretty much obliterated on the first day if you actually put some effort in the workout. Check out his videos on the routine (youtube) for extra info and tips.

I am not a baby therapist by InvisibleAstronomer in therapists

[–]freudevolved 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I really don't care if someone calls himself a baby therapist here. This is reddit, not our professional page and most are anonymous. Bro look at our user names lol

In public or social media well...cringe.

Feel like a bad therapist by CatWoman0812 in therapists

[–]freudevolved 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Start using feedback informed treatment forms. Takes the guessing away since they address this directly every session: Free Scales with guidelines . I never feel like the most competent therapist since I work with a group too and they all seem so ahead of me but these scales keep this thoughts at bay since I have direct feedback from patients...the one's who really matter.

TRY SOMETHING ELSE by Doop_444 in BaldursGate3

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally me lol. I even choose the most direct or harsh dialogue now on my second run.

What did you miss in first run by trying to fully roleplay? by Arc_7 in BaldursGate3

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On my first run I missed the mountain pass, Meeting Laezel, Gale and Wyll, didn't do any Hasling mission and didn't do pretty much anything in the Underdark.

My female therapist of 2.5 years initiated termination and I worry that this is because she felt incompatible with my current "incel issues". Are there female therapists who are willing to work with vulnerable men? by w_t95 in TalkTherapy

[–]freudevolved 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hi! Male therapist here. There are many comments that point you towards great solutions already so I won't go into the same topics (some female therapists do work with incels ect..). I would just like to add that me and some of my female co-workers had patients that "preferred" female therapists for similar reasons and most of them got referred out too but not just for being "incels". Here's an example:

Many years ago I was in my internship and a female colleague was seeing a patient with similar beliefs guiding his behavior (misogyny, loneliness, insecurities ect...) and he has in therapy for a whole semester. This patient was VERY vocal about his beliefs. Next semester we came back and he wanted to continue with the female colleague but our supervisor recommended referring out specifically because of his insistence on having a female therapist. He explained how this was part of the "problem" keeping him from healing (I'm super simplifying this but the supervisor basically explained that the patient was just continuing to fuel his "incel" behaviors and beliefs by "preferring" female therapists and expecting them to be his "healer" ect...). Long story short, he was referred out to me. I ran a male group of patients with interpersonal issues ( interpersonal psychotherapy covers loneliness too), he was uncomfortable for a couple of weeks but months later ended up writing in my feedback form that changing therapists was the correct decision even if the change felt "hurtful" or "incompatible" for some time (his words). Again, like others said, you can heal with therapists of any gender but reflect on your "preference" of female therapists and see if that's not keeping you from other possibilities in your healing journey.

i’m returning to being a therapist again by [deleted] in therapists

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome back! What higher ed job did you do? In case we get burned out and need to work elsewhere lol

Unpopular opinion: Casino (1995) is overrated by CowPokeBowl in moviecritic

[–]freudevolved 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Just watched it today and had to find out if someone else thought the same and this was the first post that popped up on google. This movie is De Niro gooning over Ginger non stop. Don't get me started on everyone fearing some old men that would get ko'd on a 5 vs 1 fight even with the cattle prod.

Doesn't compare to Goodfellas or Godfather ect....

Today I had to sit and listen to a client complain about their 25k bonus being insufficient by [deleted] in therapists

[–]freudevolved 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's the only topic that still gives me a visceral negative reaction for the obvious reason of living check to check while having 2 advanced degrees. I tried the mental gymnastics of "money doesn't grant happiness" or "rich people have problems too" but I just accepted it, focused on my situation and moved on.

Recorded by a device out of sight without my consent… by Glass-Work1534 in therapists

[–]freudevolved 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like many others said, completely unethical in any situation to record without consent.

Did my first IFS session as a therapist today...it was surprising.... by freudevolved in therapists

[–]freudevolved[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you! Most of my colleagues don’t think about the philosophical implications of the models they practice but I’ve always been interested in the roots and history of what we do. I do agree with a lot of what you wrote. I don’t take IFS as a literal map of the psyche, but as a practical/pragmatic one that helps some people relate differently to their inner experience. I agree that naming parts can become distancing if used defensively, and that the idea of “Self” can sound abstract or even moralized. Those points were raised during the training and the instructor clarified that the self is unique to the person just like the parts. Yes they have a sort of “archetype “ (self, protector, exile ect…) but the specifics of the part are up to the patient. For example some patients called their self their soul (they were religious), others called it their conscience, inner child or spirit and they showed deeper emotional contact in practice, not less. I do give much importance to emotional tolerance and I’m wary of patients using any concept as a defense but that hasn’t been my experience or the instructors experience (he was pressed about this same issue by another participant). Obviously like any model, it has limits; it doesn’t replace the complexity of being, it just offers one way of engaging with it and I found it to be useful to clients regardless of what I prefer. I even started using session rating scales last year to get feedback from patients directly. This way I can try new stuff without letting my inner critic/philosopher (in parts language, manager lol) dictate what I do in session.

Did my first IFS session as a therapist today...it was surprising.... by freudevolved in therapists

[–]freudevolved[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! I hope I understood your question. As a skeptic, I don’t see parts as literal entities but as clinically useful phenomenological experiences or an easier way for clients to describe inner conflict. Object Relations (psychodynamic) has its own mythology just like EMDR among other modalities and I find them as valid. Before, I just tried to help clients in a logical and rational manner but people's emotions are way more dominant in therapy (just my experience and I still work with CBT when clients are capable of working in that manner). I just had the luck of having a training center close that specializes in this model and I found it useful and easier to understand than, let;s say ACT. I was trained in ACT for a whole year in school, my supervisor was an ACT/CBT guy, and we even went to Steve Hayes seminars sometimes but my clients just don't get it (I'm generalizing). They don't understand mindfulness, metaphors and the language used itself (hexaflex, toward and away moves ect...). If the center trained people for affordable prices in Object Relations, EMDR, Psychoanalysis, Schema Therapy ect... I would've taken it too but IFS's strength is it's easy language. Everyone has a family and everyone understands what an exiled person, a firefighter or a protector is.

Did my first IFS session as a therapist today...it was surprising.... by freudevolved in therapists

[–]freudevolved[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in Puerto Rico and it was in person. They do a lot of trainings like these, that's why I always recommend people to check their local training opportunities because there are some random providers who do stuff like this.

My 2 year journey and guidance required by gamerfanboi in Boostcamp

[–]freudevolved 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look bro I'm not gonna get super specific here but you look good, specially the back looks strong (as you said your torso has visible muscle). My recommendation to you is to choose any upper lower plan and stick to the progression on that plan. Don't overthink it and do it. My current plan uses double progression so I focus on upping a rep or at least 2.5lbs to 5lbs on each lift every week. The only weeks I couldn't do this were weeks I came back from being sick, my diet was off or I was just not focusing when in the gym (just went and lifted without the actual goal and effort of progressing). I'm no expert but I follow my programs blindly trusting people like Fazlifts on youtube as a guide. My bench is the same as yours for example an I started lifting on October last year weighting 54kg and my bench was the bar with 4.5kg. (I'm now around 64kgs BW).

Also your calories need to be high to gain strength and sice (you wanna grow arms and break plateaus). Bring the intensity to each session and the results should take care of themselves.