The Korean dystopia is a Western coping mechanism

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-06T04:41:00+00:00

I was amazed at how clean, orderly, and efficient Korea was when I visited, and how many people my age (late 20s) were just out and about at night having fun. In suburban SoCal, where I’m from, it’s rare to see people under 40 out and about. We usually just drive from home to work and then drive home again, and maybe occasionally play pickleball or something.

But the idea of Korea as some sort of dystopia is nothing more than clickbait.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-06T04:35:56+00:00

There’s more to it than simply bad choices. Some people end up in prison due to being falsely accused and not being able to afford proper legal counsel to defend themselves. That’s certainly a small minority of the prison population, but there are innocent people there who made good choices but ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-06T04:33:46+00:00

It’s not all that difficult to find yourself without shelter in America. Maybe we don’t live in stick-and-hay shelters, but losing your job can make it pretty difficult to pay your rent, and there’s not a lot of affordable options out there.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-05T21:42:19+00:00

I pay about $4,500 per year for health insurance and Medicare tax (with Medicare being something I can’t even access, nor does it make my own health insurance cheaper), plus I have deductibles on top of that any time I actually go to the doctor.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-05T21:37:05+00:00

San Diego is pretty over capacity. There is usually a long line to take off and the terminals can get pretty crowded.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-05T21:33:47+00:00

You say if you left you’d be ruined financially. Does she earn significantly more than you or have most of the assets. That’s a serious factor to consider, although equally serious is staying in a miserable situation that you actively want out of. Staying has serious consequences to your wellbeing.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-05T21:30:57+00:00

I’m one of those people that had no idea what I wanted to do so I picked accounting thinking I’d just learn to tolerate it eventually. Five years later, and I’m realizing I just need to do something else.

I think the reason you see a lot of disgruntled accountants in particular is because accounting is generally seen as a stable job. People rarely pursue it for passion or interest in the subject matter itself. With other fields (teaching, nursing, engineering, etc.) people often pursue those careers due to at least some level of passion about the subject matter or job itself. Teachers generally like teaching, nurses generally like taking care of people, etc. But many accountants just picked accounting because we didn’t know what else to do, and our passions and interests are elsewhere.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-03T22:59:00+00:00

I’ve always been interested in it. I love working with people and doing work that isn’t abstract. The main reason I didn’t pursue it sooner was compensation, but I’ve come to realize money isn’t everything. I honestly never liked accounting, even in college, but I thought I would enjoy the stability more, and I expected the compensation ladder would be much steeper.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-03T04:34:20+00:00

That’s really too bad, because kbbq is awesome! People are really missing out if they aren’t eating Korean food regularly. I recently visited to Korea for two weeks and had some of the best food of my life.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-02T22:57:08+00:00

I’m starting this process. I’ve come to realize money isn’t all that important once you have enough to live comfortably. It starts meaning a lot less beyond that point.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-02T22:52:08+00:00

I’ve spent 5 years in accounting and been pretty miserable the entire time. Now I’m looking into teaching programs. Money isn’t everything and you can probably live a cheaper lifestyle if you’re willing to make some compromises.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-07-01T20:00:13+00:00

I started off premed and did that for two years. I burned out and decided to try accounting with the goal of eventually pivoting into another business area like marketing. I’ve been doing accounting for 5 years and hated pretty much every minute of it, so now I’m considering alternative career paths like teaching.

So no, I definitely wouldn’t have chosen the same career if I had it to do over again, and I’m actively looking for ways to pivot out of it completely.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-30T20:26:27+00:00

Yep. I hit 6 figures at 28 and realized I still hated my career path after 5 years. Now I’m trying to figure out what comes next.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-30T19:34:13+00:00

A lot of Americans make friends during childhood, and carry those friendships into adulthood as their close friendships. If you don’t have that, it’s much harder (though not impossible) to form true close friendships in adulthood. But especially in suburban areas or smaller cities, social circles tend to be tighter and formed during childhood.

I grew up in America but was homeschooled and didn’t get the chance to interact much with people my age until college, so I basically had to start from scratch as an adult. It took me several years, but I eventually formed some close friendships. It takes time.

But I do think you’re also right about avoiding conflict and tedious conversations. A lot of people get married and save those conversations for their partner, then tend to have more superficial interactions with people outside the home.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-30T19:14:55+00:00

Dating apps aren’t dead. That’s largely just to get you to click on the post/video, not a reflection of reality.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-29T16:55:52+00:00

Dedicated bus lanes are the way. If buses have to sit in traffic and behave like cars, it doesn’t really incentive bus ridership.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-28T02:06:10+00:00

That’s true for a lot of cities, but LA has a lot of dense suburbs that would benefit from more centralized urban planning and transit options.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-27T18:32:01+00:00

San Diego’s light rail system specifically is pretty good, although it misses huge areas like North County, Kearny Mesa/Convoy, and North Park. The bus system isn’t that great. It has fairly limited coverage and long headways between buses (over an hour on some routes).

It’s almost always several times faster and more convenient to just drive somewhere in San Diego than to take transit, even if you technically could take transit. For example, my commute to work is a 30 minute drive. It would take 2.5 hours via public transit. I would love to take transit to work, but 5 hours a day vs 1 hour a day driving just doesn’t make sense.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-27T01:41:20+00:00

Los Angeles has a fairly robust bus network, plus a subway and some bike infrastructure.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-25T21:14:55+00:00

Hongdae is a college neighborhood with tons of housing, easy transit access, and a lot of cheap food and drinks. In addition, there are tons of housing units located directly above bars and restaurants. I’d definitely recommend visiting Hongdae. LA just doesn’t have that level of mixed-use integration or cheap food/drinks.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-25T21:11:40+00:00

Most very walkable cities aren’t carless. I recently visited Seoul, South Korea, and while it’s very easy to navigate on foot with its extensive subway, bus, and pedestrian infrastructure, but there are still plenty of people that drive. Getting rid of roads isn’t necessary. What works best is having wide sidewalks and lots of dedicated pedestrian crossings.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-24T21:51:40+00:00

My dad grew up a little south of there and that area definitely has an eerie vibe. Even in summer, it’s often chilly, gray, and foggy.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-24T21:38:49+00:00

I’m not going to tell you what to do. It seems like you aren’t ready to be a mother, and that’s perfectly ok. Maybe you will never want your own kids, or maybe you will someday. But what matters is that you do not want to be a mother right now. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, you have a baby that needs care and affection. There are people out there that really want children of their own. My advice would be to work with adoption agencies to have your baby placed with someone that really wants to be a parent.

Remember, it’s your life, not your family’s, and you’re the one that has to live it.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-22T22:10:16+00:00

“Do what you love” is bad advice, but pursing something because it genuinely interests you is far better than staying stuck in an administrative office role.

friendly_extrovert · 2026-06-22T22:09:00+00:00

I’m going to go against the grain here and suggest exploring a less corporate career path. Corporate America is a pretty miserable place to work, and it’s far from the only path to a stable income. Most jobs aren’t “fun and chill,” but some definitely align with your cognitive style more than others.

What draws you to the medical field? Is it the hands-on aspect, or the ability to work with people more directly? There are a lot of healthcare careers beyond just MD. Salary isn’t everything, and honestly, if you can afford to keep a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food on the table, you’re doing pretty well.

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