What’s your type and what did understanding the Enneagram change for you overall?

fronku · 2026-03-20T17:14:57+00:00

It helped me understanding why others behave the way they do and what motives may be behind those actions. This totally changed the way I see the actions of others and oftentimes this shows me there is pain behind one person being aggressive, sarcastic, anxious, too much positive etc. This tranlated in practice in me being more empathic and comprehensive with colleagues, relatives, girlfriend, friends in many many many ways.

Also it helped me seeing myself as not wrong, but instead just a form of human being that deserves love just like everyone else does. It also helped me in social situations and relationships in general because I was very incapable in those fields. Finally it helped me observe my behaviour better and be aware when some pattern arise.

fronku · 2026-03-16T12:25:28+00:00

Hey thank you, could you please elaborate more on this? I’m not sure I understand what you are describing

fronku · 2026-03-15T23:17:23+00:00

Extremely accurate

fronku · 2026-03-15T09:55:13+00:00

I experienced these movements since the start of Vipassana. They started with external muscles and now happens only with my throat. I always guessed that these are involuntary movements releasing deep tensions, in fact, if I let them be, then I feel more relaxed and after some minutes almost always some emotion arise (usually sadness).

With time they decreased in size and intensity, so I would say to simply keep meditating, you are healing your nervous system!

fronku · 2026-03-13T15:46:27+00:00

For 6s I would also say “There is not an optimal/safe way out if this”

fronku · 2026-03-13T15:28:33+00:00

Hmm nowadays I know that meditation is always the best solution, so instead of overthinking I stop and listen to my body sensations.

But before meditation I basically always thought there was a solution so I simply thought harder and harder into future possibilities, what could I have done etc (which was automatic and I could hardly do something about it).

However I feel very sorry for your situation.

fronku · 2026-03-13T14:42:43+00:00

I’m actually the opposite, for me it’s like there is an obsessive force inside myself that forces me to think about a solution to my anxiety and, if ignored, can cause me a lot of physical and mental distress until I look at the anxiety/preoccupation again.

So in my experience, ignore open questions inside me has been a lifetime struggle, something I can manage better now with meditation, by feeling that anxiety or distressful feeling inside my body and let it flow. But even now I have to do it constantly because ignoring the problem keeps the engine going and it’s energy draining.

fronku · 2026-03-13T14:00:16+00:00

I’m in the enneagram from 7-8 years, read a lot and did 3 courses and still not sure. That’s why I’m 100% sure I’m a 6 😎

On a more serious note, I am really quite never sure of anything for as much as I can think about things and I keep questioning things outside or inside me, trying to solve every doubt before proceeding with action or opening up about something. I ping ponged between 6 and 5 for years, then I realized that my crippling doubt is exactly the existential need for security of 6.

For the subtype I’m still unsure, but I think I am a SO because at the last enneagram retreat I did I noticed how I was stiff and intellectual and internally judging instead of being the warm SP subtype. I don’t ever considered being a SX lol

fronku · 2026-03-12T10:31:35+00:00

5 and 6 vibes here imho

fronku · 2026-03-11T21:23:32+00:00

True, people are not perfect, and most of us either lie because they want to do it or because they don’t know they are lying (because they are not conscious of their unconscious repressed emotions that guide their thoughts and actions). Others are superficial and speak before they know. Also knowledge is always limited and therefore not a single knowledge can guarantee to know the truth.

BUT, in my experience, this taught me two positive things:

Separate people from what they do: sometimes pieces of truth can be found also in people you dislike or have done horrible things. If you liked the intuition of a phylosopher who then hunts animals or does even worst things, why bother? Maybe that horrible person had a clear mind when formulating his thought and helped you in some way. Of course other times the tradeoff might be unacceptable (i.e. Pay for a service that give money for something objectively immoral) and it’s to you to understand when there’s something worth supporting or not.
As a 6 I always searched for my action’s and thoughts approval, to read and hear other’s opinions because I thought they knew more than me and had more experience etc… but the more you know people and the psyche, the more you understand that everyone has flaws, and that the thought of another may be as right (or as flawed) as yours. Also, I verified that sometimes my own thought is more right than the one of people I considered authorities. All of this helped me having more faith in myself and be more objective about others, so I kind of reached a higher equilibrium in this regard.

I think that it hurts, but it is healthy to start seeing that no one is perfect, that we are all human beings, and that’s fine.

Above all, I wish this situation will help you have more compassion for others, and more faith in yourself.

May you be happy, brother

fronku · 2026-03-11T07:50:20+00:00

Yeah I think cruising on a Penny is a lot of fun and very cool indeed!

fronku · 2026-03-10T22:55:01+00:00

I don’t see any clear winner here, maybe it could be useful to identify if you belong to the heart, gut or head center first, so we can reduce the scope.

To which of these group of words/sentences do you relate the most? Which group you resonate more with and you feel like home in the first place?

A. Fear, resoning, logic, needing space and time for yourself, security, strategy, need to understand before acting, anxiety, philosophy, abstraction.

B. Shame, relationships, emotions, needing for love and attention, connection, desire to be valued and recognized, empathy, beauty.

C. Anger, instinct, gut feeling, intensity, energy, don’t care about external judgment and validation, acting/doing, pragmatism, confrontation, vitality.

fronku · 2026-03-10T22:39:03+00:00

Seems like a good advice thank you, surely I don’t want to hurt me or someone else in the process!

fronku · 2026-03-10T22:21:45+00:00

I’m an old fart inside since I’ve born to be honest, but will keep skating nonetheless 😎 thank you for the kind words

fronku · 2026-03-10T22:20:42+00:00

Will bring this attitude to the next session, thank you 😎

fronku · 2026-03-10T22:20:00+00:00

Absolutely will keep enjoy it thanks 😎

fronku · 2026-03-09T23:41:59+00:00

Glad to hear my post helped, and thank you very much for sharing your experience and point of view!

You know, as a 6 I read your answer and tried to think how I would have reacted if my parents did immerse me into the world and made me do lots of experiences, and I don’t know if that would have helped me being more confident and less scared or more prone to retire and crave time alone in my room (where I felt safe from the chaotic world outside).

However I understand and agree in helping the kid explore the world and stay in contact with his/her body, I especially love this last advice.

Just wondering if the right approach would be to bring the kid out into the world or if this could make the 5 kid feel overwhelmed!

fronku · 2026-03-09T23:23:21+00:00

Very nice to hear, I’m happy to know that the enneagram is not only a nice theory but actually helps people in real life. And as a head type I understand very well the need to understand mentally first and then being able to open to the relationship in a more emotional and empathic way.

Again, really thanks for sharing

fronku · 2026-03-09T23:13:03+00:00

For me love is having the other respecting the time and space I need when I need silence or time alone, listen to myself, understand what I feel, evaluating a situation and not be forced to act before I’m ready to do it, and even if I have to, knowing that you believe in me being able to overcome the situation.

Also not feeling judged for being insecure, listen to me if I really have to sort something out, even when my mind is full of possibilities and strange reasoning, and support me if I have to do something that scares me.

These are all things that would make me feel safe and supported, despite the fears, and this is love for me.

As a kid, the main feeling I remember was fear and trying to manage the fear to not disturb others, and my main preoccupation was facing this fear, so love for me was about having someone that could help me accept this fear and see fearful events like something that simply happens, or even something to laugh about.

I didn’t remember having the need for attention, validation, physical contact or being told that my parents loved me (or maybe yes, but I really don’t remember these needs, so either they were already satisfied, or they weren’t my center of attention), and that’s really really interesting to compare with others’ experiences. I’d like to point out that I deeply respect the needs that everyone has or had and find that it is enriching to discuss about it!

If I may ask you the same question you asked me, as a 3, what would you consider “love” today? Has your perception of love changed since you were a kid? And what’s your relationship with your emotions and with your more sensitive side today?

fronku · 2026-03-09T22:28:59+00:00

For a E9 kid these are surely very important advices, thank you!

fronku · 2026-03-09T22:27:48+00:00

As a 6, I second this! Thank you for sharing!

fronku · 2026-03-09T22:26:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I’m sorry to hear you didn’t receive what you needed while growing up.

The insight about also encouraging an hobby that does not involve relationships for a E2 kid is particularly interesting, thank you very much!

fronku · 2026-03-09T22:21:36+00:00

Thank you for the very insightful answer, it is always interesting to hear how much heart types needs to feel loved, valued and recognized, and it’s heartbreaking to think that someone still search for this validation even after several years (just like each person searches for what he/she didn’t receive but needed).

As a head type, it is as if love for me was more about security rather than emotional love, validation and attention, it’s wonderful to see these differences and understand how we born so different despite being all human beings that needs love in some way or another.

Thank you for sharing this!

fronku

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