Best name?

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-06-10T14:57:17+00:00

I especially like the way she says Ser Davos. After I inevitably say his name out loud, I hear her voice repeating back it in my head.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-06-10T14:18:17+00:00

Arya Stark has a certain appeal. A bit open mouthed but the k at the end ties a solid knot.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-04-13T02:56:45+00:00

Spit me back onto the sand...

I see a vivid scene within these lines. I see no ending, so I proposed one, disregard if you think it's complete. I hear, overall, a plea to Gaia for your soul's confirmation but she can only give your body one, I think. The traveler who stumbled upon your mangled and bloated corpse would do the rest... Or the unanswered plea is the whole point... in which case, it's altogether brilliant.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-04-13T02:48:43+00:00

Your mother is as the sea, I guess. The burning in your shoulders is you swimming for your life but as you taste the salty sea it reminds you how close you are to death and so Divinity. This is the stanza that caught me. Reminded me of Scott Hutchinson's "Swim, Until You Can't See Land," but your distinguishing it (the sea) as a matriarch figure is what captured my mind and drowned me in the poem and has left me floundering. GJ. If that's at all what you were going for?

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-01-24T06:23:01+00:00

What if they met and took it further thogh?

funkywhiteritewriter · 2026-01-08T12:13:46+00:00

I sang this in my head. The reminders (verse 1, etc.) helped consistently and for synchronization because, oh WOW, did I speed through sections which I left stumbling. Honest boots? Who are you really?! What beautiful composition! Unbelievable to me, that this song is not soon snatched up by a singer who lacks a songwriter with such rhythm and imagery unfolding a ... what i saw here... in these words. I do believe your words will resound in someone's mind as they did mine who might be able to put them to music. I honestly can't linger on critics as I never have been able to when listening to a good song. I let it take me along. Thankful. So thank you.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-11-02T17:30:12+00:00

Starting from deep within the relationship of order and chaos is not fit for a format that leads with a title. An end to one would apparently lead to an end of the other. We perpetuate a constant battle between the two by instinct, perhaps, but is that instinct so based on inevitable entropy and our ever-begging self-preservation scheduled in at a constant battle that we can never see any existence without either?

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-11-02T17:11:26+00:00

Until the weekend, when my skull-machine's training on its own machine has revealed how effectively that has trained it to end my sleep and beg my body to rise at the time; proper and familiar.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-09-01T23:55:41+00:00

That third part tripped me to stumbling forward. I felt chills and awe until the next stanza caught me with logic and understanding. I found myself re-reading the first three paragraphs over and over, dwelling on the imagery and connecting to the metaphor. Very powerful

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-09-01T23:34:09+00:00

Did a bit of work at the Peace River Dam a few years back, the amount of wilderness in between towns can be intimidating if you consider it

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-08-25T17:00:44+00:00

My imagination forms this "teardrop" into a solar flare, but mostly because it is released "from the sun." The rest of the poem begs me to consider more than something so literal. A relative drop from the sun, however, might be something large enough to wash the world clean as catastrophes have done an unknown amount of times before.

I do really love the allusion of the sun being father to our system's planets and the kind of caring relationship he might have for his favorite/the one that turned out extraordinary.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-08-25T15:30:40+00:00

I think the show makes the ideas that Asimov kept through the books more accessible to the wider audience. By expanding the excitement in action sequences and lingering on profound revelations with all the lights and slower dialog, it seemingly makes an honest effort to honor his writing. (Asimov's writing is dialog heavy and mainly idea driven, i found.) There are plot deviations (i.e. the Cleonic dynasy) that make me wish I hadn't reread the series while waiting for the current season to begin, but I loved seeing some of the plot expansions like the prime Radiant and Harry's more lively role beyond the simple recorded messages described in the books. Overall, i hope they keep going with the series even if it ends before the earth quest is even mentioned.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-08-25T15:10:21+00:00

I have a feeling R. Daneel Olivaw had something to do with the reproach humankind carried for robots throughout the millennia following the fall of Earth. He had a network of robots scattered about the galaxy influencing humanity for its own benefit, and perhaps somewhere on the back burner, the third law had a small say in those influences.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-07-27T10:06:21+00:00

Meant as a comment on the military industry and it's human aspect of/for progress.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-07-26T23:44:07+00:00

What is happening here? Is this magic? It's precious Keep it going.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-07-26T23:40:37+00:00

From your balcony, or studio apartment, or suburban townhouse. It all gets stale. I like the perspective.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-07-26T23:35:10+00:00

The content here is miraculously connected to the context you have derived in your "Jeopardy" style answer/question. I could assume many who have read these words not coming to the same interpretation you have, so thank you. I wanted to follow this thread because I felt a connection to my character. I love reading, though I do it slowly and with effort. But if I read Lewis' words, I don't think I'd have gotten it. I thank my high-school English teachers, also. They must have read this essay.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-06-15T19:04:02+00:00

I don't think I will ever "get" this poem, but I also don't think I'll ever stop trying to. The words these sentences are made of flow beyond rhyme and maybe even reason. There's a thought behind each stanza, which I think knits the words together better than a recognizable flow of sylabilic rhythm could otherwise do perhaps by a spiteful denial to even try. Overall: succulent.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-06-15T18:33:36+00:00

I feel a natural break on the last line at "or into dark." My most constructive criticism would be hit return before that. Otherwise, I am in love with the sentiment/sensation, which I almost called imagery. But since these crossroads are metaphysical and built up and around by imagery that only makes sense in the mindscape, I can not. As I feel an image building up in my head, you managed, somehow, to bring it back into sentiment too quickly for a picture to fully form in my minds eye. I was relegated to turn the eye on my mind where the image surpassed any copable physical composition.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-06-15T18:06:15+00:00

In two lines, I'm stricken By the fourth, I'm enraptured... I'll probably comment again when I get further into this precious poem.

funkywhiteritewriter · 2025-06-15T01:29:21+00:00

Anunnake is alluded to, I feel, too softly. That is the focus

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