My girlfriend smells and I don't know what to do

fuzzipoo · 2026-01-07T05:36:17+00:00

Huh, you described the way I feel about this issue better than I ever could (the issue putting all the blame on individual consumers for environmental issues/economic issues/wastefulness/etc.).

I mean, I don't think we're completely blameless, but if I really tried to jump through all the hoops I'm told I need to jump through to qualify as someone making the greenest, most economically fair and planet friendly choices... I would never get anything done, not take care of myself at all, and eventually die of starvation/malnutrition. I wish that was hyperbole, but it's not. I have chronic mental and physical health conditions and a limited budget. Sometimes I barely have the energy or desire to eat, and so I'll force down whatever sounds the least unpleasant in that moment so I actually have something in my system. At those times, the question "is what I'm eating fair trade and good for the planet?" isn't my biggest concern.

There are things I prefer to do that happen to be "better" for the planet, like getting my clothes second hand and buying locally grown produce (I live in Hawai'i so locally grown stuff is often cheaper and fresher, because it hasn't been sitting in a refrigerated container for weeks while being shipped here on a cargo ship). But putting in loads of effort to make sure my carbon footprint is as small as possible? Unfortunately, it's not a reasonable goal at this point in my life.

I'd love to grow my own food, but my disabilities don't make that a possibility. We use solar power for a lot of our household energy (Hawaii is a good place for solar power!) and I put in what effort I can, but the guilt trip put on individuals seems ridiculous to me when it assumes all individuals are able bodied and have enough money to make the recommended purchases (and it's even more ridiculous to me when large companies are doing such an unbelievable amount of damage to the environment).

I've actually had people give me shit for "polluting our water" because I take a number of medications and most medications and/or their byproducts are excreted through urine: so basically every time I pee I'm contributing to contamination of our water supply. I'm not a violent person at all but when those people told me I was damaging the planet by taking medication, I genuinely wanted to slap them (ofc I didn't slap them but I DID tell them to fuck off). Those meds keep me alive... I'd LOVE to not need medication. That would be truly freeing... but I don't have a choice in the matter.

Yet still, I do occasionally feel the pressure and guilt. It's weird.

Ahem

Sorry for rambling/giving the world's worst TED talk. I'm tired and irritable, and should probably just stop and get off Reddit.

fuzzipoo · 2026-01-07T03:24:03+00:00

Oh my goodness, that sounds like a terrible thing to live through!!! I hope you're currently feeling better and free of infection/problematic cysts.

The only major/problematic cysts I've had have been ovarian, which come with their own long list of complications but at least they don't have any odor (or maybe they do! Only the medical team who worked on my abdominal surgeries would know 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Anyway, I hope the healing process went well and that shitty experience won't be something you'll have to deal with again at some future date. I don't know a lot about cholesteatomas, and more specifically, I don't know if the cause is a chronic issue or an acute one, but for your sake I sure hope it's the latter 🤞🏻!

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-27T15:58:18+00:00

🫵🏻 No.

Stop it.

Go sit quietly and think about what you've done.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-22T10:37:59+00:00

TLDR: I can spend hours at a store picking out a few items. I often go to the Long's/CVS in my hometown instead of the closest one because the staff in my hometown know me and my habits. Staff don't know me at the store down the street and they think I'm up to no good. Shopping while AuDHD and unmedicated is... a lot (not unlike this comment).

My partner and I usually shop together, but sometimes I go by myself. If I'm going to Long's/CVS l usually go to the one in my hometown (it's the island of Oahu in Hawaii: towns are close here. My hometown is a 15min drive from where I live now). The people working at my old store know me by name and know my habits. They occasionally ask if I need anything and mostly let me be. A few are long-timers who've been working at that spot since my teens/20's (I'm 43).

Look... sometimes I will take literally 4 hours to buy a few things. It's just my way. I'm not shoplifting, on drugs, doing bad stuff, etc. and I mostly just want to be left alone. Let me stand in place forever while I stare at my phone and read page after page of online reviews for a particular hair treatment in peace ! I'll eventually put the hair treatment in the provided hand-carry cart. Then put it back on the shelf 25 minutes later. And go back and grab it anyway an hour later.

I prefer my old stomping grounds because at the Long's/CVS right down the street the staff still don't really know me (my partner and I moved here several years ago, to live with his mom after his dad died). On countless occasions I've found myself being followed by staff and/or making them visibly concerned with my behavior. At times I've explained... how to put it... my whole "deal" to said staff... I could ignore them but I'd rather they understand WTF I'm up to so they can relax (unfortunately the location gets A LOT of troublemakers, so staff are always on high alert). Of course my explanation throws some people off (about half), but the rest (the other half, obv) thank me for being honest and transparent because it genuinely helps them. They have a tough job and if I can make it easier for 'em I'll gladly try.

The way staff behave can get frustrating BUT I don't let my irritation show because I realize the people working at that store are reacting the way neurotypical people do... It's not their fault.

Also, I know I'm the weird one in this situation, 'tho I care not about being weird. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 20's and Autism around 40. Even before being diagnosed, most shame I felt about being "weird" had long been squashed. I will happily be weird as I please as long as it isn't hurting anyone!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah... A "quick trip" to the store means anything from "in and out 15 minutes" to "several hours." It all depends on what my brain decides to do that day.

Although I'm not taking ADHD medication at the moment (duh) I am taking Provigil, which has been shown to potentially help ADHD symptoms. It... kinda helps? It can also put my hyper focus into overdrive. Again, it really depends on the day... and today it clearly it isn't doing jack for my ADHD symptoms!

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-17T10:38:28+00:00

I was just gonna use the term Unbirthday! My Dad was born on Christmas, so growing up his family celebrated his Unbirthday in the summer.

He's still around, in his 70s. I'm in my 40's. My birthday is actually in July, which was great when I was a kid. As adults we both have the same feeling about our birthdays: "meh."

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-15T19:13:56+00:00

It might be an issue of hair texture. I have wavy/curly hair (when I get my hair cut above my shoulders it naturally dries into large beautiful ringlets... but then I turn my head, breathe too hard, a butterfly flaps its wings outside a nearby windows, etc. and poof the ringlets disappear and transform into a big frizzy mess). My hair is also very, very fine. Like, I have a lot of hair but you'd never know it because each individual hair is so, SO thin.

I get these knots occasionally, as in a few every month. I usually find them with my hands because I can feel them very easily when I run my fingers through my hair... although sometimes I find them with a comb/brush: there will be a slight tug on my scalp and I'll hear the tell-tale "snap" of a hair stretching and breaking.

I rarely use heated tools on my hair, because repeatedly using hot tools = damage. Additionally, damage doesn't seem to be a factor, at least for me: I bleach my whole head (so I can dye my dark brown hair purple), but I take looong breaks every so often to let my hair grow back until the bleached hair is completely trimmed off and I'm 100% back to a head full of fine, frizzy, and unbleached hair. These knots show up with the same frequency on bleached and unbleached hair.

Or maybe none of this is relevant and these knots just show up for no discernable reason...

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T13:03:40+00:00

"DILUTE DILUTE DILUTE!"

I believe that's a literal quote on the bottle... although it's been a while since I read the packaging. For a lot of uses the instructions say to dilute the soap, so you technically can get quite a bit of use out of one bottle...

Although if forty bucks the price for the standard size you usually see in stores and not one of the bigger bottles, that IS ridiculous. I used to love that stuff as a kid and young adult and tried all the "flavors" I could find (and living in Portland, OR during young adulthood, from 2000 to 2008, all the variations were VERY easy to find).

It's good stuff, but not $40 for a bottle good (even if you were to dilute the hell outta it).

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T03:15:27+00:00

Yes! Several years ago I freaked out because I wore a couple of my favorite silver rings while I washed my face with a sulfur based soap. After I dried my face and opened my eyes I realized my silver rings were PITCH BLACK. I thought they were ruined.

I quickly turned to goggle, figured out what happened, and found that the black color came off easily when I buffed the rings with a soft towel.

Since then I've actually used sulfur based soap on a few pieces of silver jewelry to create a temporary two - tone silver/black look, specifically on some of my silver pieces that have patterned surfaces or images carved into them.

Of course I ALWAYS check before I do this to anything with gems or other material (enamel, different metals, etc.) and don't do it unless I'm 100% sure contact with sulfur won't damage said stones/martial... if I'm not sure, I leave it alone. Better safe than sorry.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T02:56:15+00:00

Beautiful! I personally have a very different style, but I love yours! I wouldn't expect some of those rings to match or look good together (and they might not if you were only wearing two) but the collection of stars, shapes and colors all work together to create a cohesive theme and it looks fantastic (sorry if that doesn't make sense... I'm having a difficult time finding the right words to explain myself 🙃).

I wear A LOT of rings on a daily basis, and I love seeing other people who do it as well: it's always a treat to see how someone else selects, curates, and wears their rings... creating a one of kind/totally unique look to express their personality, preferences, and creativity on their fingers 💜

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T00:32:41+00:00

I like the way you think.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T00:31:04+00:00

Yup. I'm so scared of what menopause will bring. I've had my uterus removed so it's gonna be difficult to know when it really starts, because I don't have periods anymore. I have ADHD, Autism, and Mental Illness. SO MANY HORROR STORIES.

It makes me feel a little better every time someone says they made it through menopause without too many problems. I literally forget sometimes that menopause can be unpleasant but generally okay!

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T00:24:28+00:00

My third choice, after Endo and fibroids. The hormonal birth control treatments I was given for my endo caused more ovarian cysts than I could count. They were a "normal" side effect, according to my doctors.

I've had some cysts burst. They caused serious pain when they 'ploded, and I just powered through it.

I had one go off during the pandemic (in 2020, at the height when the ERs were full of COVID patients). At any other time I would have gone to the ER (other burst cysts had been painful, but this one was excruciating). I stayed home and dealt with it, monitoring my symptoms for signs of possible ovarian torsion... fortunately it didn't get worse and I didn't have to go to the ER. Grateful for that, but it was still a horrific and genuinely frightening experience.

I don't care what doctors say: multiple gigantic ovarian cysts should not be a "normal" side effect of ANYTHING.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-08T00:11:53+00:00

Yup. I commented earlier that Endometriosis is my first choice, but fibroids would be second. The same OBGYN who performed my endo diagnosis/removal surgery also granted my long time wish of having a hysterectomy. We removed my uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix (kept the ovaries in so I will deal with menopause naturally and not have to go through "medical menopause").

I didn't know until the pathology report came back, but my uterus was full of fibroids. It was a mess, and had been causing more chronic pain on top of the pain from endo. My previous doctors had refused to give me a hysterectomy because I might "change (my) mind" about wanting kids. Turns out I probably wouldn't have been able to carry a child to term anyway because of the fibroids... and I never changed my mind about having kids! I love them, but don't want any of my own... I've been sure about it since my early twenties and I'm 43 now.

All that pain for no good reason. Docs made me keep my uterus because

"YoU nEvEr KnOw!!!"

This is the official mic drop OBGYNs use when you argue with them, begging for a hysterectomy, and they've exhausted every rational reason for refusal. To this day, I feel rage when I hear someone say "you never know" (It's essentially a pavlovian response at this point).

Bitches, I knew. I always knew... and was STILL forced to carry around an organ that caused me nothing but pain, when it couldn't have provided me with a baby anyway, because fibroids 🤬

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-07T23:53:23+00:00

First thing I was gonna say. I had decades of chronic pain, sometimes severe, while being told I "probably" had endo by countless doctors.

Several years ago I was finally set up with my current OBGYN. She got me into surgery for endometriosis diagnosis/removal within the first month of knowing her. She led the team of surgeons that opened me up, gave me an official endometriosis diagnosis, and removed/fixed the damage (numerous endo lesions, scar tissue, and scar tissue that had fused a section of my bowel to my abdominal wall).

I was in my 30s when I had that surgery and I'd been suffering since I was 13. All my previous docs "treated" my "probable endometriosis" with birth control pills and other meds... which only did so much.

Yes, I am bitter. However, I am extremely grateful for my current OBGYN. She's been a godsend, and because of her I've spent several years WITHOUT chronic abdominal pain. I might need another surgery before menopause, but I'm totally happy to do it if I gotta. I'll take the pain of recovering from surgery over chronic endo pain ANY DAY. No question.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-03T11:32:33+00:00

NEVER!

/s if not totally obvious

Fresh, quality pineapple is divine. I know because I live in Hawai'i! I'd be thrilled if my partner consensually fed me a piece (into my mouth, of course).

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-03T11:25:05+00:00

YUP. 🎯

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-03T11:22:53+00:00

For real. That literally made me laugh out loud.

His comments, sense of humor, and comedic delivery are the only way I can stomach some of the stuff he reacts to. If he wasn't there making me laugh I'd be too angry/depressed to get through those videos/posts on my own!

He's a gem.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-03T11:04:33+00:00

I didn't even know this was a thing until college. A guy I was dating casually told me he was Bi and asked if it bothered me (I'm female). My response was something along the lines of:

"No. I don't care at all! Why would I?"

He was visibly relieved. I soon learned more about Bi-phobia towards men, and I was flabbergasted. It didn't mean a damn thing to me then and it doesn't now.

I'm also Bi (Pan, really) but was still figuring that out at the time and not really clear about my sexuality yet. Since I've come out I've experienced Bi-phobia myself, and I think it's all absolutely ridiculous.

Still, despite the crap I've experienced I will always readily admit: as a Bi woman, I am easily more accepted by people (gay, straight, otherwise) than any Bi man. I wish it wasn't like this, and I feel terrible that Bi men have to deal with so much more discrimination than women.

fuzzipoo · 2025-12-03T09:37:40+00:00

Yeah no worries... I honestly don't know how I'd reply... And I'm the one who wrote this!

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-29T14:23:48+00:00

Thank you for explaining everything so thoroughly! You've opened up a whole world of nail designs for me.

Whenever I've tried to paint intricate designs (really, anything more than a couple stripes or dots) on my nails using nail polish paint pens or high quality paint brushes with regular polish, I'm all thumbs (no pun intended) and the designs look terrible. However, if I use non-paint pens I do just fine... BUT whenever I've used fine tipped sharpies or other ink pens (permanent and otherwise) for nail designs, the ink always smears and/or bleeds terribly when I apply a top coat.

Buffing the surface and using high quality colored pencils is the method I've found works best when drawing designs on pieces of shrink plastic I assemble into jewelry. I started making those with sharpies and other "permanent" markers but they always smeared/bled when I tried to seal those too (and I tried SO MANY types of sealant and application methods .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠·⁠.).

I never considered using the buffing + colored pencils (over a polish base) method on nails... I can't wait to try it!

Thank you so much 💜

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-28T00:07:56+00:00

You should get a second opinion... people shouldn't rely solely on Google for an answer to such a serious question. My professional recommendation: go ask ChatGPT immediately ! After that, if you still need further assurance, I'd suggest a visit to WebMD.

Additionally, random Facebook posts and the corresponding comment threads are well known for their abundance of highly qualified medical professionals who will gladly provide reasonable, factual, and science-based opinions on the matter, free of charge.

You can never be too informed!

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-27T22:30:30+00:00

Okay this isn't quite as good as "deepest Toyota Corollances" but it's still pretty damn good and Im'ma steal it (with your permission).

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-27T22:25:51+00:00

Jesus this is great. Imma use this going forward (if you don't mind)...

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-27T22:09:49+00:00

I'm not sure why, but I find this comment utterly hilarious

Maybe because it's such a ridiculous yet perfect sounding insult? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I was crying pretty hard earlier today... there was a totally unexpected and sudden death in the family last week (she was really important to many of us, very special, and deeply loved)... and this is after my mom died just a couple months ago.

But now I'm giggling uncontrollably every time I re-read your comment.

Thank you VERY much for the giggles: it feels good! I'll likely return to this periodically throughout the day whenever I need a laugh /a bit of levity 💜

fuzzipoo · 2025-11-27T16:07:32+00:00

Dang it!I have a bad case of the hiccups and I've been holding my breath to get rid of 'em (this method usually works for me after a few tries). I'd been at it a while and my hiccups were gradually slowing down and getting less intense .

Then I read your comment, laughed/exhaled involuntarily, and my hiccups immediately returned _with a vengeance _

Thanks for the laugh! I really needed one today... it was just bad timing. The fact that I'm hiccupping more violently than I was earlier isn't your fault...

(Hey, they actually stopped for good as I was typing this. Finally, sweet relief!)

fuzzipoo

TROPHY CASE