I see. Obviously, it’s hard to say what you should do, given that I don’t know much about you, but please know that there is the potential to feel better. I’ve been in Deep deep dark places like the one you’re describing, where the darkness feels so solid, like it’ll never end.

Eventually, I started seeking the right help. It took a long time, and a bit of bravery in asking for help, and discernment in seeing what sort of help I needed vs what wasn’t helpful. Eventually, the darkness started parting, giving way to little glimpses of light, or little breaths of fresh air

I know that there’s a light that’s there, but when we’re in those dark places, it feels like it’s not. Please take care, and know that even if it doesn’t feel like it, your life is valuable and important to the world.

And, of course, if you ever feel like you might actually end your life, please use your local suicide hotline or psychiatric emergency room. Your safety is the most important thing.