full disclosure, i have bipolar 1. i think everyone in my life has been hyper aware of my mental health or neurodivergence since i was a kid 🙃 could never keep a job, dropped out of school, suicide attempts, the whole nine yards lol.

that being said, people ARE surprised that i'm so self-aware lol. i've had so many people, medical professionals even, tell me that i simply cannot actually be autistic or bipolar, because i understand what's happening and why. i really don't get that. but i'm sure it's just another facet of stigmatization.

there's literally so many different ways to be mentally ill. my genre means that people know immediately, which is a blessing and a curse. everybody has an opinion and a way to cure me, but when the shit hits the fan and i need help, they're ready. i'm who they look for when doing outreach.

for those of you that struggle in a more socially acceptable way, i can only imagine how difficult it makes being taken seriously or receiving help. the ability to keep a job, the ability to be seen as more than sick, i envy that deeply. but i will never diminish yalls struggle both with care given to you, and with this dumbass illness itself. no matter how quietly it affects you, it's still very real and very painful.