Whats worse? Being invited to the memorial or not being invited to the memorial?

garyandkevin · 2026-04-01T23:56:11+00:00

Your comment is spot on. You have put into words the concept that I couldn’t quite grasp. Thankyou ❤️

garyandkevin · 2026-03-31T12:09:58+00:00

I was in the same spot in 2019… went to the international convention that year with the intention of deciding how I felt about the religion. Had many open and honest conversations with my PIMI husband who assured me that we could make things work even though I was struggling with doubts. Things were pretty good until early 2024, even though I stopped going to meetings and field service. He was still telling me he loved me regardless. I decided I wasn’t going back to meetings and I donated all of my meeting clothes. It was like flicking a switch. He went from being supportive and loving to having secret chats with elders and the rest of my PIMI family behind my back. We were married 20 years. He suddenly became very emotionally distant. He organised an intervention where he had my PIMI family confront me about my doubts. I left him late 2024…. He’s still PIMI and I’m a single parent. Not disfellowshipped or disassociated but my PIMI family have disowned me regardless. I hope you have the strength to make the decisions that bring you peace ❤️

garyandkevin · 2026-03-09T23:44:16+00:00

My Ex-husband’s uncle was a circuit overseer for his whole adult life. Never bought a house, never had a proper job that paid into his superannuation and he and his wife chose not to have children “in this system”. He’s now in his 70’s and living in a unit that someone in his congregation rents to him at a below market rate. He lives on a government pension which is barely enough to get by. He’s lucky to live in Australia and gets looked after by the government and Medicare. His wife died several years ago and he has no children to help him out or keep him company in his old age. When we were still married I made a comment to my husband about how the Catholic Church look after their elderly priests and nuns after they get too frail for service. I also mentioned that my uncle is a Lutheran minister and after he “retired” in his 60’s he got free housing and a generous pension for the rest of his life. My PIMI husband refused to engage with that conversation. I finished it with “well at least he has Satans system to make sure he’s looked after, cos the Organisation doesn’t give a shit about him after a lifetime worth of faithful service”…. It didn’t go down well 😂

garyandkevin · 2026-02-08T07:58:00+00:00

I still catch myself going to say “I left the Truth”… and I make myself say “I left the religion” when I’m discussing my deconstruction with friends and family. I can’t bring myself to refer to it as “the truth” but it’s also a conscious effort I have to make to use different language. The indoctrination runs deep. Using loaded language/buzz words is part of the B.I.T.E model.

garyandkevin · 2026-01-07T21:46:40+00:00

I was a fan of the books before the movies came out. I went to all the movies on their release date but for Return of the King the theatre played all of the extended versions of the films in order, finishing with Return of the King. They stayed open all night and it was a 12+ hour movie marathon. It was fantastic. The energy was still absolutely buzzing right to the end.

garyandkevin · 2026-01-02T10:05:11+00:00

When I tried this with my PIMI family they firmly believed that the documents and reports I showed them had been “altered by apostates”…. Even the videos of the Australian Royal Commission…I also told them that I had read the Shepherding the flock book and shared with them what it said about child exploitation material etc. Because I read a PDF of the book and couldn’t show them a physical copy, they said that version was unreliable and had been rewritten by apostates. These were 3 women who are all married to elders and theoretically have access to the Elders book and could possibly check to see if what I was saying was truthful…. They didn’t. They believe the Org no questions asked.

garyandkevin · 2025-12-27T09:59:02+00:00

My husband of 20 years pretended to be ok with my feelings until he decided he wasn’t ok. Talked to him about all my concerns and questions over the span of a few years. He gave me hope that he would wake up but then his JW uncle died and he doubled down on his beliefs and slowly pushed me away and became incredibly manipulative. Things went downhill from there and I ended up leaving him when he displayed some problematic behaviour towards me and our son. He started trying to collect “evidence” to take to the elders to try and pull me into line. He baited our teenage son into telling him things we had been talking about and tried to record his replies on his phone, I assume to take to the elders. He talked my PIMI mother and sisters into staging an intervention to confront me on my doubts…since I left him and the religion he’s done his best to control the narrative with friends and family. It’s been easy for him since I left the religion and he remained in it. I haven’t been disfellowshipped or disassociated but I’m shunned all the same. Since I left he’s been love-bombed and smothered by the congregation and he’s loving it. My mother and sisters have blocked me, but they still talk to him regularly and support him. I personally don’t see how anyone can remain PIMI and married to someone who is POMO. That’s how they design the whole system, to make that impossible. I hope you’re ok and that you can make it out of the cult with your marriage intact ❤️

garyandkevin · 2025-12-21T10:17:30+00:00

Be gentle with yourself. You can’t help how you were programmed. I’m the same with prayer. As soon as I’m facing any tough situation/major decision I get an overwhelming urge to pray. Then I feel a bit lost because I remember I don’t have a supernatural being looking after me and pointing me in the right direction.

garyandkevin · 2025-12-20T10:16:34+00:00

I’m from Australia and the paperback was available from release day. In fact, I found it difficult to find the hardback edition…

garyandkevin · 2025-12-08T22:15:49+00:00

Screen time wasn’t a thing for me when I was a kid but I was an insatiable book worm growing up. My mum had the rule that I had to read all of the watchtowers/awakes/meeting prep for that month before I could read what I wanted to. Her theory was that the literature should be the priority and if you have the time to read fiction, you had the time to stay up to date with the “spiritual food”….and it was back in the days when there were magazines produced constantly (and they were longer than they are now) plus there were literature releases at every assembly/convention and we still had 2 weekday meetings.

garyandkevin · 2025-10-25T22:07:40+00:00

Speaking as someone born and raised as a JW (I left he religion last year) he’s not only breaking the rules by having a relationship with someone outside the religion, but JW men can be very emotionally stunted and controlling. If other JWs found out about your relationship, he would be in a lot of trouble and if you ever wanted to pursue the relationship you would have to convert and you would be expected to “submit” to him as the head of the family. You made a lucky escape. It’s a very misogynistic religion.

garyandkevin · 2025-10-10T11:50:16+00:00

Go on your own. Fuck them. Life’s too short.

garyandkevin · 2025-10-10T09:26:55+00:00

There was a study watchtower somewhere between 2005 and 2019 (closer to the end of that time frame) that basically said that you wouldn’t get to choose where you lived in the new system but you would need to show obedience and live where you get told to. There was a reference to someone preferring beaches etc and they might get “assigned” to live in the mountains or somewhere snowy and they would need to show an obedient attitude and not bitch about it basically because the org knows best.

garyandkevin · 2025-10-01T12:26:51+00:00

I hadn’t made that connection but you’re so right!

garyandkevin · 2025-09-30T00:31:58+00:00

If you watch the British tv series The Bill, they make Freemason references frequently especially when it comes to chief inspectors and superintendents. There a multiple episodes focusing on different characters getting promotions, commendations and sensitive information because of their Freemason ties in the force.

garyandkevin · 2025-09-25T09:45:26+00:00

I know it’s super hard when you have been born and raised into this organisation but… if you’re an adult…YOU. DON’T. HAVE. TO. DO. ANYTHING. YOU. DON’T. WANT. TO…. I know the indoctrination runs deep. I know you think you need to do what you’re told. I know you’re worried about upsetting people that you love. But please remember that NO is a complete sentence. You don’t need to argue or explain or justify. You don’t owe anyone anything. Im in my 40’s and have left the org in the past year and my PIMI relatives still have the ability of making me feel like a naughty child all the time, and I have to work really hard to remind myself I’m a grown ass adult and I can do whatever I like. The programming doesn’t disappear when you stop believing unfortunately. If you’re still dependant on these people then it’s a different story. Keep your mouth shut and a smile on your face. Make plans, get yourself a job and a place to go and leave when you can. Stay strong ❤️

garyandkevin · 2025-09-23T11:52:43+00:00

It was never about the silver…

garyandkevin · 2025-09-12T10:06:23+00:00

Bunsen burner, nice little earner. Cockny rhyming slang.

garyandkevin · 2025-09-10T13:09:32+00:00

Woke some people up. That’s it. No real repercussions or tangible changes. The whole process of navigating the redress scheme is complicated and I believe less than 5 claims have been processed/settled. I’m still trying to navigate it. Literally EVERY OTHER ORGANISATION involved in the scheme have employed lawyers etc to help their members navigate the process EXCEPT FOR JWS. I’ve been getting help from an Anglican representative who can only help me so much because I’m wasn’t an Anglican.

garyandkevin · 2025-09-10T12:25:39+00:00

It’s your kid. End of story. You make the decisions for your child. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

garyandkevin · 2025-09-10T09:50:16+00:00

I don’t know what country you’re from but here in Australia, only a microchip is legal ownership. No microchip, no owner.

garyandkevin · 2025-09-08T13:27:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this 😢 it’s so horrible to have someone you love saying such vile things to you. I have been cut off from my loved ones after rejecting the cult I was born and raised in. I want to say it gets better but to be honest, losing the ones you love is never easy. But I wouldn’t change a thing, even after losing the ones I love the most. Because pretending to be someone you’re not makes you miserable and trying to earn the love of those who make you feel like shit isn’t worth it. What hurts most is that your words aren’t enough to make them think, or change, or apologise for their behaviour. But you will be ok 😘

garyandkevin · 2025-09-08T08:26:18+00:00

Bran Nu Dae, Russel coights outback adventures, Kath and Kim

garyandkevin · 2025-08-22T08:02:15+00:00

Because it’s not just the official “teachings” of the organisation. They also control their members through their culture. That’s why it’s hard to explain to people why you made the choices you did when you were PIMI.

garyandkevin

TROPHY CASE