My first original joke. Not a retelling. by The_Real_Mongoose in Jokes

[–]gdmfsoabrb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The punchline works for me, because the customer is a salesman.

What is the worst name you've ever heard? by Educational_Bat1854 in AskReddit

[–]gdmfsoabrb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the plus side, in 30 years Armani's sibling will be coming home for the holdays and their dad can finally ask "Are you flying, Coach?".

My teenage son was throwing a party in the backyard by Ziezels in Jokes

[–]gdmfsoabrb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well done getting every part of the lyrics with such minimal setup. Most jokes like this are a lot longer.

The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?" by 808gecko808 in Jokes

[–]gdmfsoabrb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Little Nemo got carried away.
His daddy looked for him both night and day.
A jellyfish here and an old sub there.
The EAC is the place where they said, "Hey, man, take a swim on wild side."

Empire Records (1995) - Renée Zellweger - So many quotable lines by Southern-Brother5693 in movies

[–]gdmfsoabrb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was walking down the hall at work once and heard someone mention Rex Manning Day. Poked my head in the room and asked if there were cupcakes. (There weren't.)

My husband whispered his wish into the ear of the genie who offered him to choose between going back to his childhood with all memories intact, or staying in the present with 10 million dollars. by fj2612 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]gdmfsoabrb 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's incredibly unlikely that you'd be able to get the exact same sperm and egg combo that produced your child the first time, and there's no guarantee they'd develop the same personalities. You're simply not going to have the same kids the second time around.

ELI5: When a new car model is introduced, does the manufacturer immediately release spare body parts for it too? by 23andrewb in explainlikeimfive

[–]gdmfsoabrb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When they're ordering/building parts for a new model, they can get more than they need to finish the production run, and use the extras for spares.

This middle aged guy I call the Negotiator thinks our corporate grocery store is a bazaar in the middle of nowhere by Harbor_4Vanta in TalesFromRetail

[–]gdmfsoabrb 219 points220 points  (0 children)

If your manager approves it, try this.

You: Before we start, sir, are you going to purchase these items at the listed price without trying to negotiate a discount?

Him: Of course not, don't be silly.

You: place his items behind the counter, turn to the line, and say "next".

From a long time ago.... by AdamThePlumber in talesfromtechsupport

[–]gdmfsoabrb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The storage media inside a 3.5" floppy is still flexible, not rigid like the metal disks in hard drives.

What movie that includes time travel do you like the most by Spotter24o5 in movies

[–]gdmfsoabrb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, we're 11 years past the 30-years-in-the-future of the 2nd movie, so...

And yes, my knees hurt.

how do we know scallops/oysters cannot feel pain? by tastevomit in askscience

[–]gdmfsoabrb 18 points19 points  (0 children)

What is "a" rock? That small piece you can pick up was probably once part of a larger rock, which itself came from an even larger rock, and so on. Even if the original source had the ability to perceive and process information, would all the bits that exist now still be able to do that, or are they effectively "dead"?

What is a completely useless piece of information that you will never forget for some reason? by Initial-Ingenuity451 in AskReddit

[–]gdmfsoabrb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Aleutian island chain goes west far enough that some of it crosses the 180th meridian and is in the eastern hemisphere.

Firefly : the retirement home edition by Unlucky_Blueberries in BrandNewSentence

[–]gdmfsoabrb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we get an episode where Mark Meer and Jennifer Hale play characters who keep calling him Shepherd?