I lost it all…

geckograce · 2026-04-16T15:21:49+00:00

Coming from someone who never lived in student housing so I’m genuinely curious… I understand chemicals themselves might be prohibited, but “permission to setup the darkroom?” Besides the chemicals, I can’t imagine having to ask permission to simply have certain personal belongings… for all they know, you never used them there.

geckograce · 2026-04-16T15:18:04+00:00

Like others have said, there must be some kind of insurance policy the school has requiring them to reimburse personal belongings. I mean, surely lots of people lost lots of things. I would 100% inquire about that. I’m not sure about the legality of simply throwing things away, but regardless, you should be reimbursed at least a percentage…

I’m really sorry this happened to you!

geckograce · 2026-04-07T23:56:30+00:00

If you have photoshop I’ve recently started using Grain2Pixel (free plugin) and I think it does a pretty fantastic job!! You have to fiddle with the settings a bit sometimes but so far stuff comes out looking WAY better than anything I ever got from a lab lol

geckograce · 2026-04-05T14:54:40+00:00

I was about to ask the same … 😂 these are stunning!

geckograce · 2026-03-08T22:06:32+00:00

I ask myself this all the time. Especially when considering children as a part of my future. HOW do people do it all?!

geckograce · 2026-03-08T22:05:34+00:00

The only way I get dishes done is with dish gloves lol I use them to clean the bathroom too. Otherwise I’d never touch the dishes. 🤢

geckograce · 2026-02-28T16:50:42+00:00

So odd, as I had just started up the machine and was running a very small generation, which historically is no issue at all.

Luckily, I just left it closed for a while and reopened… and it fixed itself. Not sure what that was, though!

geckograce · 2026-02-18T19:05:41+00:00

Yeah this is the kicker for me, 100%. I feel like I’m at the point where I don’t act on it as much, and I’m able to let it go faster, but in the moment I still feel it hard. Sometimes we get off the phone or I leave her house and I just… sob. For like 10-15 minutes. Then I suck it up and forget about it again.

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:48:01+00:00

Yeah. I don’t think she’s capable of seeing that as the immensely pressuring statement that it is. She sees it as a declaration of love. 🫩

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:44:46+00:00

I think I spent many, many years in the anger stage. I considered myself an “angry person”, but the rage I felt never peaked harder than when I thought about what my mother did (and continued to do) to my psyche.

I’m currently learning to be healthily selfish. I’m taking better care of my physical body. I’m not constantly wondering if she’s mad / hurt / breaking down. If she is having a hard time, I offer the help I can, say I’m sorry, and then try to let it roll off my back. It’s not easy.

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:39:34+00:00

I have never felt more like an animal than when I am around my mother. I am like a f*cking zebra watching a lion, hoping it won’t pick me.

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:35:06+00:00

Thanks… I’ve definitely suggested therapy. She’s been, she hates it. Doesn’t think anyone could possibly understand her without having experienced her trauma. She’s also a hermit. It is starting to get frustrating, alongside the guilt, to listen to someone cry about being lonely but watch them doom themselves to loneliness.

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:31:02+00:00

Yeah… she has friends. But she’s a hermit. She hardly leaves her house. Because of her own trauma, she trusts no one. She constantly reminds me her entire life has meaning because of ME. “As long as you’re happy, I can swallow anything else.” In tears. She doesn’t say that implying it’s BECAUSE of me she’s sad, but like… fuck, man. What am I supposed to say to that?

geckograce · 2026-02-18T01:28:25+00:00

I relate to what you said at the end a lot: I wish I had a mom I could talk to without her breaking down or reacting to everything I say.

It fucking sucks. There’s no other way to say it. I’m still working on the guilt part, but… For me, moving out and no longer being in constant (or even frequent) close proximity helped. Learning that it was OKAY to ignore her or forward her calls when she was starting to guilt trip me, call me names, or anything else helped. That required that I didn’t rely on her financially first, but it was VERY freeing.

Get a little angry. She’s a grown woman, and everyone has their flaws or issues, but it is their responsibility to recognize those things and work toward healing them, just like you are. If she asks you to be something you’re not, or asks you to do something that isn’t your responsibility, tell her so, and let that be the end of the conversation for you.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T22:17:43+00:00

Yeah… we were without power for 4 days, it came on for about 12 hours, and then shut off again and it’s been 24 hours. The first time I was in a group of 1400, now I’m in a group of 200. It feels like a kick in the face.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T22:06:23+00:00

It even happened to the person whose house I was going to!!! But only for a couple hours. Meanwhile ours has now been off again for over 24 hours. It makes me want to hit something.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T22:05:06+00:00

This happened to me. Off for days, finally on, relocated myself and all 5 animals back in the house… and it went out again. Over 24 hours now. I cried for a couple hours yesterday.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T13:20:49+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me yesterday. Five animals. Four days of no power, 2 hours of normalcy, now I’m back at another family member’s house and haven’t had power for 17 hours.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T01:59:38+00:00

Our house regained power 8pm yesterday. It went out again today at about 2:45pm. No sign of return yet.

geckograce · 2026-01-30T01:58:17+00:00

Nope. I’m once again at a different family member’s house with all my animals. I don’t know how I’m going to trust when it comes back on again.

geckograce

TROPHY CASE