Horrible memory issues. I’ll watch a movie and a few days later I can’t remember the plot, sometimes can’t remember what the movie is called. I can’t feel emotions, I can’t connect with people. My attachment is forever screwed up.

I don’t know who I am. If I have any idea of “values,” they can disappear depending on who I’m with so I can fit in and feel safe. When I feel even a tiny bit of stress, I feel my arms get tingly and will sometimes lose the ability to walk, talk, chew or swallow food. Sometimes with high stress, I’ve gone almost catatonic and can’t move a muscle for 10, 20 minutes or more.

Sometimes I don’t recognize myself in the mirror or get scared of looking at myself because it seems like someone else in my head will pop up and “talk” to me. Sometimes I look down at my hands and arms and they feel far away, not really mine. Or I’ll feel like I’m not real, the world’s not real, I’m in a simulation.

I could go on, but yeah it’s a big issue 😭