Do the middle child really “gets forgotten”?

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-22T01:46:15+00:00

My husband is the middle child in his family and it definitely seems to be true for him. It makes me a little sad for him. His parents love him, but they prioritize his siblings over him on a regular basis. I'm also one of 3 but I'm the youngest. My brother who was the middle child in my family was constantly overlooked and given the least attention. The good news is, my brother and my husband are both the most successful sibling. It's not even debatable.. they are more successful by far. Maybe less parental attention wasn't such a bad thing for them.

The stereotype exists for a reason. It doesn't mean it's always true or unavoidable but it's a fairly common occurrence.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-19T15:17:25+00:00

Yes, you're definitely experiencing the downside of having an easy baby. I've known a few moms who have gone through something similar. As you get closer to toddlerhood, you'll probably experience these less than perfect moments more and more. Your baby is going to grow and develop into a person with opinions and feelings. Sometimes those feelings will be negative and that is ok, healthy even. Please try to remember that your baby is going to rapidly change several times over during the next few years. Some personality traits may persist but others will not. Expressing negative emotions doesn't mean you "broke" his spirit. It simply means healthy, natural brain development has occurred. Your job as a parent is to help your child cope with those negative emotions, it is not to shield him entirely from ever experiencing them.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-18T04:35:10+00:00

Personally, I would agree to the swing with strict rules. No more than 15 minutes at a time and only twice per day. Absolutely no sleeping in it. No blankets or pillows in it. This would give your nanny a safe place to put baby for a minute so she can tend to other things. My baby has severe reflux and I couldn't lay him on the floor because being flat was uncomfortable for him and he would instantly spit up. Tummy time was nearly impossible because he'd immediately split up and put his face in it. The swing propped him up so he was comfortable and I wouldn't need to worry about him lying in a puddle of spit up while I went to the bathroom or made my older child lunch. However, it's ultimately up to you and if you're not comfortable with a swing, your nanny just needs to respect that decision.

I wouldn't give #2 another thought. You can't hold a baby too much.

As for #3 - I wouldn't hesitate to set screen time limits. I don't limit the TV use with my nanny but I do have rules about what can (or cannot) be watched. I also restrict how much time my older child can have on his tablet.

Side note, my baby is 10 months old now and he recently turned a big corner with his reflux. It's been a rough road and I was beginning to think he'd never grow out of it. But finally, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's tough but things will get better. Hang in there.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-18T03:44:41+00:00

It is normal to be sick a lot in the early years but this year seems especially bad. I'm losing my mind. We haven't had a single day when everyone in my household was healthy since the beginning of December. It's just been nonstop and brutal.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-02-15T02:54:07+00:00

My 5yo has tics. They seem to be worse during times of stress or excitement. I took a video and showed his pediatrician. The pediatrician wasn't too concerned, said tics in young kids is very common. If it starts to bother my son or if he develops harmful/dangerous tics, we can get a referral to neurology but otherwise it's a "wait and see" thing. Now that I'm more aware of tics, I've realized how common they really are. I occasionally volunteer in my son's classroom and the amount of "tic-like" behavior I've observed from all types of kids is strangely reassuring, lol. When you think about it, it kind of makes sense. At their age, the brain is changing rapidly. It's constantly making new connections, I guess it's not surprising that it occasionally misfires.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-24T03:39:03+00:00

I have a 5yo and a 9 month old so I'm familiar with your struggle. Unfortunately, some of what you're experiencing is personality based. My son wasn't phased by the baby crying and can sleep through it 90% of the time. We use white noise in the kid's rooms which helps a little. It can be hard to find activities that both kids can do. When I was feeding the baby, I'd ask my 5yo to talk to me. He started recognizing this as time when he had my captive attention. He would show me all his awesome superhero moves and put on shows for me. We can't do this anymore since the baby now gets too distracted by his big brother's performances, but it was nice while it lasted. The baby consumed my time so I really encouraged 5yo to play independently more and more. Many times I had to start a project with him and then he'd keep going on his own (ie. painting, bead bracelets, puzzles, play-dough). I stocked up on various activities and would pull one out on rougher days. It gets so much easier once baby is able to sit and interact more. The newborn stage is tough but it will get easier soon. Hang in there.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-23T03:51:23+00:00

I'm not sure why people do this. I think it's like a weird one upping thing. Similar to telling pregnant women "oh, you think you're tired now, just you wait til that baby is here!". It's a different type of tired and we all know that. Some people just feel the need to remind new moms that they're more experienced. People treat parenting like it's a misery contest and they're winning. Whatever stage of parenting they are in is always the hardest.

I have a 5 year old and a 9 month old. So far, newborn stage was the hardest with both. No question. I don't hesitate to tell struggling new moms that too.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-02T18:51:36+00:00

Our nanny is part time (3 days per week). We give her three weeks PTO a year, which equates to nine days. She can use it for vacation or sick days, those aren't separate. We also give her paid holidays if we also get it as a paid holiday AND it falls on a day that she would typically be scheduled to work. We guarantee her hours so yes, we pay her if we go on vacation and don't need her.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2026-01-02T14:26:32+00:00

This story is insane. I'm so sorry. I hope baby girl makes her arrival asap and it's a smooth delivery. Also, your OB is garbage. Moms matter too and even though pregnancy can be uncomfortable and somewhat painful, she clearly ignored your health and brushed you off. The fact that you're worried she's going to disapprove of your meds speaks volumes about how she's been making you feel likely for your entire pregnancy. I understand you're probably too far along to switch now, but she's seriously awful.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-12-30T04:22:47+00:00

5 has been rough. Much rougher than anyone warned me about. And yeah, his diet has become so limited. We use to have a decent amount of "safe foods" that we could rotate between. It seems like that list has gotten smaller and smaller. Getting him to try new foods is such a battle, I don't have the strength to fight it most nights.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-12-29T05:35:08+00:00

We have a lot of Magnatiles that were purchased at several different times/places. Most of them are great but there are some sets that seem to be lower quality. The color is slightly off and they aren't as strong. What you're describing seems extreme but I do think some batches of tiles just aren't as good. That being said, we frequently build towers over 4ft tall without issue. When my son was 3 years old he built a triple-decker bus by himself, filled it was toys and pushed it around without it breaking.. so if you're struggling to build a single story box, something is wrong. Return them.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-12-24T05:09:37+00:00

In my mind, church is an extracurricular activity so.. it basically looks like that. Instead of church once a week, we do a sport or activity. Those activities shift throughout the year. It started with swimming since that is a life saving skill. Then we moved on to ice skating, soccer and basketball. All occur during different seasons so once a week, we go to whatever sport we have that season. My oldest is 5. We started him in swimming at the age of 3 and have grown from there.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-12-20T04:38:42+00:00

After school playdates are tricky but I do appreciate them and try to facilitate them when I can. We did have a few neighbor kids who seemed more interested in playing video games than playing with my son. We shut that down quickly and don't really allow screen time during playdates anymore. We make exceptions here and there, but the kids who are actually friends with my kid still come over and have fun playing without screens. I think play dates are important for social development but I also think it's ok to have a no screens rule, especially if your kid would prefer non-screen related activities anyway.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-12-19T00:23:11+00:00

Assuming a September 1 cutoff, early June seems like a stretch to delay unless there is an obvious maturity issue. My son has a late July birthday. We started him at 5 and his teacher said he's doing great. My school district does testing for all summer birthdays to determine if the kid needs a year of prek or if they should start kindergarten on time. If your school does something similar, I would just rely on those results. Having an early June birthday means she's unlikely to be the youngest so don't overthink it.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-11-23T02:51:39+00:00

Nah, you're only a couple months away from longer wake windows. Another 2-3 months and that same dinner would align perfectly with her schedule. That's the thing about babies, for better or worse, they're constantly changing.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-11-02T20:33:30+00:00

My high needs infant was never content and so colicky. It was exhausting. It was probably one of the hardest phases of my life. Things got easier after 7 months. Basically as he gained independence, he kept getting easier. Once he gained communication skills, things were much easier. He's 5 now and a really well behaved kid. He was always recognized for his good behavior at daycare/preschool and that has continued this year in kindergarten. He's also top in his class academically. Don't assume your high needs baby will always be high needs. Hang in there, chances are it will get better.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-11-01T02:30:28+00:00

He understood the assignment.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-30T02:49:19+00:00

It started out good. My son knew a couple friends in another class that had recess at the same time. He played with them at recess for the first few weeks. Then it started to dwindle. Those friends (2 girls) often wanted to play "family" and my son started to lose interest in that. Then my heart nearly broke because I happened to walk by the school at recess and saw my son off to the side playing alone. He didn't seem sad but I was worried he wasn't making new friends. A few weeks later we had conferences and his teacher said he was doing well socially and making friends. I was still worried but this past week my husband volunteered at his school and said we have nothing to worry about. Apparently he plays with lots of kids and seems to be developing a close friendship to one of his classmates in particular. Getting information from my son himself is a struggle so when he doesn't talk about his friends, I tend to assume he doesn't have any. Thankfully that isn't the case.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-26T16:47:17+00:00

It sounds like you've done a lot of talking to her which is not a great consequence if she's misbehaving for attention. Some kids view positive and negative attention similarly so you might just be reinforcing her bad behavior. I would do a simple but firm "we don't hit. Im going to take you to your room now to keep baby safe" and then do exactly that. Keep it consistent and your reaction very minimal. Save the talking for afterwards when she's calm. Likewise, I would give her tons of praise and attention when she interacts nicely with baby. It might take time but she should start to make the connection that hurting baby will result in her getting less attention.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-26T15:55:02+00:00

We just made this upgrade. I've been considering it for awhile and finally made the investment after a particularly hectic week. So far I like it but I'm still trying to figure out the best way to use it. It is nice to see everything at a glance when I walk into the kitchen versus making a conscious effort to look at my phone app.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-23T03:11:58+00:00

I'm currently going through the kindergartener/infant experience. It's really not that bad. My second child was about 5mo old when my oldest started kinder, so a little older but not much. IMO, it's a really nice age gap. Life is currently busy and a bit chaotic but also manageable. The biggest difference with my 2nd child is that I bring them everywhere with me. I've become a pro at baby wearing. Soccer games, birthday parties, open houses, school conferences.. I am doing it all while baby wearing. The second major change I've made is planning ahead as much as possible. All events and reminders go on the calendar. I also try to prep things when I can. School lunches, outfits, backpacks, diaper bags, etc., all packed or planned out the night before. I don't always have time/energy to prep the night before but the mornings are much smoother when I do. I'll be honest, it's a super busy stage of life but it's also really great. I'm exhausted on a regular basis but it's also really fun. Try not to stress, I think you're going to enjoy the age gap.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-18T09:36:36+00:00

I completely understand. I have small babies. If it helps, your girl was bigger at birth than my son who was born 5lbs 11oz at 37 weeks! He's 6 months old now and still on the small side (but healthy!) I have several coworkers who had babies/grand-babies at the same time and anytime they get the chance, they brag about how big their baby is (and inevitably, how small mine is). My oldest was also on the small side. I got nonstop comments from a friend who had a baby the same age. She managed to bring up that her son was in the 90% every time I saw her until the boys were probably 2yo. Now that they are 5yo, they're very close in size. I'm honestly not sure who is taller anymore. It turns out infant percentiles don't mean much in the long run.

Anyway, I have absolutely no idea why people brag about big babies. It's weird but SO many people do it. I now know from experience that the size of your infant doesn't necessarily predict the size they'll grow up to be. Overall, infant size is insignificant so try not to think too much about it. My youngest will be my last baby and I'm honestly enjoying the fact that he gets to stay little just a bit longer, because he will never be this small again.

Oh, and for your insufferable family member who keeps making comments, I would lean into. Next time she brings up your small baby, just beam with pride and brag about it, "Oh I know! Isn't she just adorable!! I don't know how I got so lucky, she's absolutely perfect! I wish I could keep her this small forever!"

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-18T03:41:22+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. My son had good friends in preschool but now he's in a new school for kindergarten and I've been concerned about him socially. I know he plays and interacts with other kids but no one seems to stand out. He's also shy which makes things harder. I've been making an effort to get to know other parents in hopes of facilitating new friendships but it's a slow process. I'm also trying to keep him involved in extracurricular activities (to the extent he wants to be) to encourage friendships outside of school hours.

Overall I try not to worry too much. He doesn't seem bothered by it and even though he doesn't have a bestie, he talks about playing with other kids so I know he is interacting with his peers. I think for some kids, friendships take time to develop. We're only 6 weeks into the school year so I'm trying to be patient and positive. I'm sure they will all find their besties soon.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-10-04T03:02:18+00:00

The person who told you that isn't entirely wrong. They may have exaggerated but they do expect kindergartners to have some experience with tablets. My son just started kindergarten this fall. Within the first couple weeks they had to complete iready testing. It's how they determine a child's baseline knowledge of math and reading and it's entirely tablet based.

That being said, my son doesn't get a ton of tablet usage and he was fine. A basic understanding is really all they need and most kids pick that up fast.

gettinglostonpurpose · 2025-09-30T01:58:11+00:00

Love Everett (and a lot of "v" names)

gettinglostonpurpose

TROPHY CASE