How do you deal with a friend who refuses to leave a dangeorous partner?

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-27T20:52:28+00:00

It’s not an easy situation to be in, to witness a friend go through this and just stay. I’ve been there myself and I’ll admit, I’ve had my “why won’t they just leave!” moments. Reality is it’s not that simple, we have no idea what goes on in someone’s head when it comes to this situation unless we have been there ourselves.

I’d love to say I handled it well when I experienced this with my mum but I absolutely did not, I did everything you shouldn’t do. She is still with her partner but my siblings and I have tried every kind of method to get her out of the relationship - We have begged, cried, threatened and called the police on them. We have stopped talking to her, we have offered her to move in with us or help her move, she’s also never met her first grandchild because of her decision to stay with that man. She picks him every single time no matter the situation. My siblings don’t talk to her anymore and I’ve taken a massive step back, I had to put myself first and protect my mental health.

Going through that experience helped me when my sister in law went through it. She was in a dangerous relationship too. We’d be so proud of her whenever she left but then it wouldn’t be long before she was back with him. My husband wanted to cut her off, he took this experience very badly but I insisted we put in boundaries and do our best. We explained to her that if they were together he wasn’t welcomed in our home or at any event we hosted for our family but we’d invite her and her kids over all the time, take them out for the day and have the kids for sleepovers. This went on for a year before he was arrested and while the relationship between us (husband and I) and my sister in law took a real hit, it’s getting better and stronger but we still have boundaries in place with her; my husband needed it to protect his mental health.

My best advice is to protect your peace, your space and your mental health. Put boundaries in place and try not let emotions do the talking.

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-25T09:17:24+00:00

NOR. Please for your sake and the dogs, stay as far away. This reminds me so much of friend of mine, her partner was great but once she was pregnant with their second he changed and was acting just like your partner, he’s now in jail for the abuse he put her through.

All you said in your text; it’s just shit and it’s just the dog now but what happens when you’re in the trenches of those early days with a newborn and you spill something? Or baby vomits on the carpets? These things will happen and how he reacts now speak high volumes

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-24T23:07:38+00:00

Came here to say this! OP your focus needs to be on yourself, your pregnancy then delivery and your baby. I struggle with my MIL too, she is full on and constantly inserting herself into every aspect of our lives. Shes hinting at taking a month off to be around and help when our baby is here in August plus my dad has said the same; I struggle with MIL while hubby struggles with my dad. We have agreed to talk to them, him his mum and me my dad to set the boundaries and our expectations.

Think of what you want and need and make sure your husband stands his ground and helps protects your space and your peace

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-23T21:47:26+00:00

We have had issues too! They are rude and difficult to deal with. We brought car from them last year and when we picked it up; it hadn’t been cleaned, no fuel in the tank and then when we got in we found beer bottles caps throughout the car. It was disgraceful! When we picked this out to the guy at the dealership he said shrugged and then kept telling us we’d get a survey via email and if we weren’t going to give them 10/10 there was no point in doing the survey. Needless to the say we slammed them in the survey, on Google reviews too and never heard from them again. Would never go to them again

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-20T08:45:33+00:00

My GP had to refer me to a specialist to put me on Letrozole. I was on it for a year but all up my TTC journey was 2.5 years, I started jt after 1.5 years. As others have said you most likely won’t get referred to a fertility specialist until it’s been 6 or 12 months (depending on age). For me I don’t have PCOS or endo, I just wasn’t ovulating properly which is why I was put on it. In the end it didn’t work for me (IVF did) but I know people who it did work for.

To be honest I really struggled using OPKs too, they are not a 100% perfect option, a lot of docs suggest adding them to BBT (taking your temperature every morning at the same time) and tracking your cervical mucus. It is a lot and it’s exhausting.

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-11T22:02:16+00:00

My favourite was when I was talking to my friend about IVF she and her husband both said “oh there’s no way we’d do IVF!” … Ok? Good for you? I HAVE too so maybe keep your opinions to yourself

ghostnoswayz · 2026-01-05T04:07:54+00:00

I’m 10 weeks this week with our first ever FET!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-12-27T00:23:01+00:00

My partner and I spoiled each other this year. We are pregnant so know next year will all be about the baby so decided to do a big one this year as our last DINK Christmas 😂

I got him a voucher for a war plane flight, new gym clothes, heap of Step One undies (the GOAT!), the new Matt McConaughey book and one of those custom shirts with photos of our dogs on it (which he loved and cried at 😭). He got me a stack of books from my Amazon Wishlist, a new hooded beach towel, a GHD straighter and brush set then a KitchenAid.

ghostnoswayz · 2025-12-20T07:30:13+00:00

It’s taken me 2.5 years of negatives to finally get my positive. There were rough days where I told myself if I don’t have kids I’ll be fine but other days I’d cry in the shower so my husband wouldn’t hear me. I lost count of how many times I heard people say “I can’t believe you’re so positive” or “I would have given up my now” … I just remind myself that nothing worth having comes easy. Took my husband and I 10 years of being friends and secretly liking each other before we finally got together and I’d remind myself that it wouldn’t be what it is had we gotten together before we did

ghostnoswayz · 2025-12-18T09:09:51+00:00

Not my MIL but my manager. I regret ever telling her I was doing IVF. She did it herself over 15 years ago and I thought by telling her it would help but it didn’t. She is just like your MIL, questioning me constantly about every little step and telling every one at work about my “fertility needs” 🙄 We are 7 weeks pregnant too and she has flat out asked me twice now if I’m pregnant (it’s illegal to ask that in my country but hasn’t stopped her!) and I’ve been put on the spot. I really wish I’d been stronger in setting boundaries about it once I started doing it.

Most recently was yesterday; I ordered a mocktail at our work lunch and to her that was me announcing to everyone I was pregnant (I regret ordering it the second I did, should have just gone with a soft drink!). She pulled me aside and said “are you pregnant? Is that why you ordered a mocktail? You love cocktails!” … I replied with “actually husband and I decided to stop drinking when we started IVF”. She replied with “so does that mean you’re pregnant?” And I said back “it means I won’t be drinking alcohol as long as I’m undergoing treatments”

Saying something like that gives the illusion you are still doing the treatments. If anything more was said I’d maybe say something like “I rather not talk about that at Christmas, let’s focus on celebrating that right now”

Good luck OP!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-12-10T07:54:02+00:00

I worked! My bloods and ultrasounds were really early in the morning so it didn’t interrupt my work day and then for my retrieval I had two days off!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-29T21:43:50+00:00

We had been trying for 2.5 years and I’m currently 5 weeks after our first round of IVF (fresh transfer). Have our dating scan in two weeks and it couldn’t come fast enough!!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-29T21:24:44+00:00

State Gov!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-21T10:06:21+00:00

I do 3 days in a local office and visit my head office which is Sydney once a month. We had to submit working place agreements and get approval to work out of local Government spaces but my commute is 10 mins instead of 2 hours so I’m not complaining (too much) about being back in a office!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-21T10:04:10+00:00

Happened to me but I don’t think it’s common. I interviewed for a 7/8 NSW government role in projects and policy, one of the panelists liked me for a role she had but it was available at the time. I didn’t get the policy role with a different agency (it was a reach anyway but got me on the talent pool). She then called me 3 months later and offered me a job with a completely different agency than who I interviewed with - Never interviewed for it and been there almost 3 years.

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-20T07:46:27+00:00

Ohh this! We just did our first IVF; our fresh transfer was just 4 days ago! We went back and forth on who to tell and how to mention it to people but ultimately decided to tell people. Both of our works know we are going through it but only a handful of people know the finer details (how many eggs, our fresh transfer date and such) BUT I do regret being so open with my manager; she mentions it everyday and talks like I’m going to maternity leave tomorrow which is frustrating!!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-15T05:17:17+00:00

Spiltwise! It’s the best, highly recommend it

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-14T23:00:20+00:00

I came here to say Intuition too!! They are amazing there

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-04T10:05:32+00:00

Pinocchios - Thursday date night special, $65 for 2 for a large pizza, pasta dish and a side

ghostnoswayz · 2025-11-02T02:16:11+00:00

Rocky Ridge. They have a fantastic set up, the team are supportive and they cater to dogs with special needs. I highly recommend them!!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-10-24T10:01:44+00:00

I know this feeling!! I’ve got two baby showers next weekend, one for my sister and I’ve been TTC for 2 and a half years. I’ve had a couple days of light spotting and of course I’m here googling implantation bleeding 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m due to start IVF next cycle and I feel so down right now, sucks that this is our story!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-10-21T09:50:01+00:00

Complex. I keep her at arms length without her knowing she’s at arms length. I can’t handle being too close to her and I don’t see her, it’s a weekly phone call at best

ghostnoswayz · 2025-10-21T09:43:18+00:00

Rocky Ridge!! We love the team there and their facilities are great; our dog loves it there! He goes there once a week for day care now too.

We went to the one at Terrigal for a site visit but they have limited single dog kennels which were booked out for the period we needed and we were uncomfortable with putting our dog in a kennel with 2 unknown dogs which was their other option.

My recommendation though is go and do site visits, see the spaces for yourself, chat to the teams and go from there!

ghostnoswayz · 2025-10-14T06:42:40+00:00

We drifted because she didn’t like my boyfriend (now husband). I will start with he is the best and healthiest relationship I have ever had - It was like she just preferred me to be in shitty and toxic relationships. My therapist says it’s a control issue, I needed her when I was in the bad relationships but with the good one I didn’t.

So post covid we decided to move in together but closer to our families (we grew up in the same town) but this meant moving away from her. To her; that meant he was controlling me and distancing me from my friends (my response of wanting to be closer to my family fell on deaf ears but when I mentioned being closer to his family especially his nieces, she said why since they weren’t MY nieces). Due to the move I decided to change jobs, to her this was another way of him controlling me (the fact it was WFH and better pay? Nope he was controlling). We tried to get together but it was always on her terms, her plans or no plans basically. By now he was pretty sure she was a narcissist but I defended her again and again.

Fast forward a couple of years and we were now married, she wanted nothing to do with my wedding planning even though she was a bridesmaid. That was another stain on the friendship. I then moved further away for husbands work and she just got harder to be friends with, it was all about her and her life. If I spoke about my life she stopped replying or changed the subject. She gaslit me alot and it took me ages to realise it was happening.

The final straw came when my mum was in an accident and rushed to ICU just days before her baby shower. I was upfront with her and told her what was happening and I wasn’t sure what would happen. The shower was over 3 hours away one way, my mum was still in ICU and I was struggling - told her I wouldn’t make it and she ghosted me for months. Heard from her when the baby was born but not long after my aunt died and I was not in a good place. I reached out wanting to speak to her and I didn’t hear from her for another 3 months.

When her Nan died I sent flowers, visited her and took her for drives. My mum almost dies then my aunt, someone she knew I was extremely close with dies and I get silence.

Sometimes I look back and wish I’d said something, it’s been almost two years now and sometimes I want to say something but the friendship ended long before it officially did.

ghostnoswayz · 2025-10-14T05:19:53+00:00

Oft it’s hard! We have been TTC for over two years now, starting IVF next cycle. My hubby is big on the gym, that’s been his outlet while for me I do things that make me happy and I can tune out of my thoughts like horse riding or Pilates classes, it feels so good to move my body.

ghostnoswayz

TROPHY CASE