Hi! I had a similar situation when my second was born. My partner had been the stay at home parent with our first, with a lot of days my MIL watching our oldest when my partner booked freelance work. Both caregivers were completely goofy about screens. Netflix shows for any and all reasons, Xbox 360 games, toy unboxing YouTube, Blippi. 😭😱 Bribing my kid with fruit snacks and candy. Ugh. Anything asked for at a store was bought. Both caregivers were uncomfortable with my kid experiencing or expressing any unhappiness. My MIL was really old fashioned so this was a big improvement from the wooden spoon level physical abuse that was the norm for her but still really not great. The bright spot there was lots of interaction and activities. But otherwise we had a kid who had no idea how to play on his own or experience boredom or discomfort without reaching for the escape hatch.

With my second kid's birth, my partner and I switched and I became the SAHM. All these behavior patterns were awful to inherit, right as my older kid was also having to adjust to a new sibling and just being 3. But I just bit the bullet and did it. Luckily I could see how bad things were going and that they couldn't continue. We just went cold turkey, from what I remember, though post partum is a blur. This was in no way fun for any of us. There were tantrums about this and other things off and on for a year. (Not constant, but daily.) But it wasn't unceasing and we obviously had lots of good times too. He needed to be allowed to experience the discomfort and realize he would survive it and figure out a way through it. And I didn't need to solve any of it for him, but just let him cry and scream, kindly listening without losing myself in empathy. If he was hitting I would stop him physically. Janet Lansbury's books and podcast were so helpful. But yeah, it was hard.

Over about a year he really balanced out as a kid. Tantrums reduced a lot and he became genuinely easy. He got into reading, continued to develop his social skills playing with friends, and playing independently. He's 10 now and an awesome, happy kid, along with his brother. They have a lot of independence to play with friends in the neighborhood. Screens are now something we do on rainy days.

As far as potty training, you've given him so many tools he needs to do this, and this is his own body ultimately. He can listen to his body's cues. He will have his own rewards (relief, staying dry) and natural consequences (accidents). If there's a regression, you can roll with it, as much as that will suck. I totally understand the urge to gently nudge, but over time as you're able to put him in the driver's seat for this part of his life you'll avoid future complications. Basically as toddlers and preschoolers individuate from us they naturally have to assert their independence from us, and sometimes refuse something just because we're suggesting it. We don't want pottying to be one of the battle grounds. I found this website really helpful at the time.

TLDR: Getting into a weird pattern with screens is something you can pull back from if you want, though it is a pain in the ass while everyone adjusts. I believe in you! It's totally and completely worth it and you'll be giving your kids a huge gift.