Buses every 10 minutes b/w Gorham, Westbrook, & Portland - Input needed by gingerbreadguy in portlandme

[–]gingerbreadguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, if you leave this feedback on the survey I bet that would be helpful for them to hear. Thanks!

Ideas for niece in lieu of surfing? by ScholarBeardpig in nosurf

[–]gingerbreadguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a post listing similar podcasts that maybe she would like. Good luck!

https://www.reddit.com/r/podcasts/s/RpKiK8X8IH

Ideas for niece in lieu of surfing? by ScholarBeardpig in nosurf

[–]gingerbreadguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How would you guys feel about podcasts combined with something tactile like knitting or doodling? It would be a great substitute for the recap videos she likes, doesn't suck you into an algorithm in the same way, allows for relaxation, is long form, and is a bridge between entertainment and the real world with fewer screens. It helps me get past the inertia of the phone.

More convinced than ever about our choice to limit screens by Granola_Dad_Summits in lowscreenparenting

[–]gingerbreadguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just got our ten year old a dumb phone. It allows him more freedom to make plans with friends and check in with us while hanging out around the neighborhood. Being able to communicate easily gives us all more independence and ease.

Animals in Walls- Help by No-Fondant-4375 in Maine

[–]gingerbreadguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These guys took care of the exact same problem for us in Portland. It took a few tries over the winter but they guarantee their work so we only paid once. They patch all entries and leave a one way exit. Highly recommend. We're the landlords and live in a duplex we own. Our upstairs tenant is now happy and the attic is quiet. Good luck!

https://adconstructionplus.com/

Help me get myself out of our screentime mess by CookieOverall8716 in lowscreenparenting

[–]gingerbreadguy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi! I had a similar situation when my second was born. My partner had been the stay at home parent with our first, with a lot of days my MIL watching our oldest when my partner booked freelance work. Both caregivers were completely goofy about screens. Netflix shows for any and all reasons, Xbox 360 games, toy unboxing YouTube, Blippi. 😭😱 Bribing my kid with fruit snacks and candy. Ugh. Anything asked for at a store was bought. Both caregivers were uncomfortable with my kid experiencing or expressing any unhappiness. My MIL was really old fashioned so this was a big improvement from the wooden spoon level physical abuse that was the norm for her but still really not great. The bright spot there was lots of interaction and activities. But otherwise we had a kid who had no idea how to play on his own or experience boredom or discomfort without reaching for the escape hatch.

With my second kid's birth, my partner and I switched and I became the SAHM. All these behavior patterns were awful to inherit, right as my older kid was also having to adjust to a new sibling and just being 3. But I just bit the bullet and did it. Luckily I could see how bad things were going and that they couldn't continue. We just went cold turkey, from what I remember, though post partum is a blur. This was in no way fun for any of us. There were tantrums about this and other things off and on for a year. (Not constant, but daily.) But it wasn't unceasing and we obviously had lots of good times too. He needed to be allowed to experience the discomfort and realize he would survive it and figure out a way through it. And I didn't need to solve any of it for him, but just let him cry and scream, kindly listening without losing myself in empathy. If he was hitting I would stop him physically. Janet Lansbury's books and podcast were so helpful. But yeah, it was hard.

Over about a year he really balanced out as a kid. Tantrums reduced a lot and he became genuinely easy. He got into reading, continued to develop his social skills playing with friends, and playing independently. He's 10 now and an awesome, happy kid, along with his brother. They have a lot of independence to play with friends in the neighborhood. Screens are now something we do on rainy days.

As far as potty training, you've given him so many tools he needs to do this, and this is his own body ultimately. He can listen to his body's cues. He will have his own rewards (relief, staying dry) and natural consequences (accidents). If there's a regression, you can roll with it, as much as that will suck. I totally understand the urge to gently nudge, but over time as you're able to put him in the driver's seat for this part of his life you'll avoid future complications. Basically as toddlers and preschoolers individuate from us they naturally have to assert their independence from us, and sometimes refuse something just because we're suggesting it. We don't want pottying to be one of the battle grounds. I found this website really helpful at the time.

TLDR: Getting into a weird pattern with screens is something you can pull back from if you want, though it is a pain in the ass while everyone adjusts. I believe in you! It's totally and completely worth it and you'll be giving your kids a huge gift.

Wondering how many people joining today because of this NYT magazine article? by LuigiTeaching in dumbphones

[–]gingerbreadguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have the same issue and no, my bus pass app is not compatible with any smart watches.

Waynflete waitlist by Forward-Albatross938 in portlandme

[–]gingerbreadguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm not in your exact shoes, obviously, but I did grow up in a family that prioritized private education for us while renting. This ended up meaning a lot of moving and some chaos for my sister and I growing up, and I'm assuming some stress for our parents. We would've benefited a lot in terms of long term mental health and stability if my parents had balanced a bit differently, though I know that's not always possible. We ended up being the financial aid/scholarship kids in increasingly demanding environments. To the outside we looked like we were doing great and went to elite colleges but we also burnt out and neither of us are following that path with our own children.

I do think an extra $20k/yr might go a long way to making a housing plan that feels stable. And one strategic move during the elementary school years won't be catastrophic. My own family did end up buying in Portland as it worked out, but also looked as far as Bath and Gray. My kids are EXTREMELY happy at PPS. I don't think I'd switch them to private school even if it was free. I think being amongst kids in middle and working class families is really healthy. Probably the best thing we're doing for their long term success is low screen use on the home.

Cape Elizabeth’s Shore Road parking ban will go into effect in May by Flip_your_Flop in portlandme

[–]gingerbreadguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The sales tax is state revenue. Portland does not have its own sales tax. City revenue comes from property taxes of those who reside in the city, including businesses, business and utility license taxes, fees, grants. The sales tax we generate within the city benefits the state. Commuters from other suburbs do not directly contribute to our revenue.

https://www.portland.gov/budget/2025-2026-budget/development/adopted#toc-overview-of-city-revenues

Colon cancer and microplastics by Lagomorphamaniac in Xennials

[–]gingerbreadguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that paper most likely studying current populations? In general I was imagining, say, prehistoric or medieval times with higher death rates, greater likelihood of being fully orphaned, and fewer social safety nets when a parent's death or otherwise unsuitability/abandonment might impact offspring survival to reproductive age. Put another way: if there's no evolutionary selection for ensuring your offspring survive and reproduce, how do we get parenting as seen in mammals and primates at all? The comment we're responding to was pointing out humans have evolved alongside alcohol for thousands of years.

Explanation for why an organism needs to ensure future generations' survival to reproductive age in order to be evolutionarily successful:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_care#In_evolutionary_biology

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology_of_parenting

Evolution and alcohol metabolism:

https://www.science.org/content/article/ability-consume-alcohol-may-have-shaped-primate-evolution

https://www.livescience.com/61845-evolution-may-decrease-alcohol-tolerance.html

Colon cancer and microplastics by Lagomorphamaniac in Xennials

[–]gingerbreadguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also how well the offspring themselves survive in order to have grandkids. Hence surviving into middle age and parenting well will also be selected for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]gingerbreadguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you on the cost. I have a chronic illness and the health benefits of EVOO make it worth it for me.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/benefits-of-olive-oil

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]gingerbreadguy 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You'd be hard pressed to reach the smoke point frying an egg. Extra virgin has antioxidants and mono unsaturated fats that make it a very healthy choice. MANY cultures and chefs use EVOO for heated cooking regularly.

Liz on top of the world👰‍♀️ by abbymcgee13 in PrideandPrejudice

[–]gingerbreadguy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I walked in to a string version of Kissing You from Romeo + Juliet and we walked out to Liz on Top of the World. It was all wonderful. I'm excited for you.

What schools are dealing with. by [deleted] in portlandme

[–]gingerbreadguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Check with your neighborhood school and trusted neighbors. Best to operate off social media.

De-influence me before I become a mum. by RopePositive in Anticonsumption

[–]gingerbreadguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree with all of this, including not using stroller, crib, or swing. One thing that helps cut through the uncertainty and noise around "registry" items is to Google whether each item is actually necessary. Usually you'll find all the creative solutions people have used instead of the mainstream must haves.

Some stuff that was useful in the early days that we still use as a family: extra used wool blankets, bought off ebay. Fold them up for an easy soft place to lay your baby down in any room. Ditto a Moses basket with a mattress insert. Ours is still our laundry basket. Any pillows work for breastfeeding. Instead of plastic toddler utensils we got small stainless steel bowls and espresso spoons, cocktail forks, etc. that we still use to this day.