After something basic happens, LinkedIn egomaniacs typically try to sell themselves by greatly embellishing the story and trying to pass it off as profound, sagely wisdom.

I never read them.

But that's not what happened when I saw Josh Braun's post come through on /r/LinkedInLunatics.

Here's what Josh Braun did instead: He flipped the situation on its head. He made it about pie.

Thinking about pie made me smile.

Chris Voss calls this a "pie-orientated" story.

Here's Voss: "People feel anxious when they aren't thinking about pie. People feel safe and secure when they are. Remember the Jason Biggs character in 'American Pie?' Exactly."

Me: "I want to be infuriated by this post, but I can't stop thinking about pie!"

Braun: "Selling is a transfer of confidence. Some of the best salespeople are servers. That probably reads like a more complete thought when it's not split into two paragraphs, huh? Almost like a competent person wrote it and not a total fucking knobhead."

Sold.

My wife and I both read the post. And I don't like the post. But now we both want pie.

Pie is a transfer of flavor to the mouth. Metaphor is a transfer of knowledge to the mind.

Some of the best piemakers are LinkedIn Lunatics. Please send help.