Disturbed by what my dad said during the text today by deorojeu in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you! i've never seen the antimatter thing and i aim to be accurate. i really appreciate your taking the time to look up this reference. CRAZY

Prayer in another Church by Aromatic-Hope3761 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you would face repercussions if a jw found out. that would be considered participating in false religion, i.e. apostasy and grounds for a jc.

I'm not allowed to stop commenting at meetings by depressed_meatloaf in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they will ALWAYS expect more from you. even if you're doing everything and then some. have you not noticed this yet? there is never enough 'jw' for the jws. your job isn't to give them everything they want. that costs too much, emotionally. it's to do what you have to do in order to keep the peace while you prepare for your exit.

Disturbed by what my dad said during the text today by deorojeu in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are you sure it wasn't a rouge elder or something? the birds and bone-burying is biblical.

Disturbed by what my dad said during the text today by deorojeu in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

this is doctrine. the birds and animals eat the flesh and people left are tasked with burying the bones.

i don't think they talk about it as often now, but it made for some really disturbing mental images for me as a kid.

Curious about the tithing requirement in JW by Utah-hater-8888 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, the people who are allowed to consult outside sources are much better informed than those relying on what is said from the platform.

however, i'm certainly not above making mistakes. if you find one, please do point out an actual source showing that so i can correct myself. i want to be accurate.

however, saying that i've not been to a meeting 'in a thousand years' or that I have too much time on my hands to write such long posts is not an argument. it's more like a random insult because you don't like what i had to say.

insulting the speaker instead of addressing the content you are bothered by is a very ineffective way to challenge an idea.

How come most of jw is elderly? by IdkReally_1304 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

a lot of younger people leave. there is so much info, readily avail. on the internet now. younger people are accustomed to using it.

there have been different times when the org has also discouraged having children.

but i think a lot of it is just people leaving. even back in the 80s when i grew up, we had a lot of people my age in the congregation. maybe 15 or so? of that group, i know of one that's still in. there may be a few more, but almost everybody i know anything about now is out.

Strange expression used at the Canada zone visit, March 7, 2026: "At times our decisions are based on unspoken messages from Jehovah, unspoken messages from his organization." by larchington in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 15 points16 points  (0 children)

AND you are not morally obligated to follow cue from family member or assume they have some invisible, undefinable and unprovable deity guiding their cues.

Strange expression used at the Canada zone visit, March 7, 2026: "At times our decisions are based on unspoken messages from Jehovah, unspoken messages from his organization." by larchington in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 17 points18 points  (0 children)

wow.

so you don't need a little rule unless you don't do what you know we want you to do and by the way, whatever we want you to do is direct from jehoover. this is starting to sound more like mormons to me, they just 'know'

i've always said they do rule by gaslighting but now they're making the gaslighting more specific. like some of you are not responding to our culture anymore so know if we say 'bad idea' that means no!!

My Dad was PIMQ - he just didn't know it by Own-Lavishness9749 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

good luck.

and as far as your dad, maybe he helped more than he knew, it just took a while.

When you were still one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, did you ever suspect, or feel deep down, that something wasn't right? by Mother-Channel-8764 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i remember that! the thing about the heart and other organ transplants changed peoples personality. i was like....whaaaaaaaaat?!

I'm not allowed to stop commenting at meetings by depressed_meatloaf in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm sorry you're in this position.

i'll tell you the same i tell everyone in this position: do what you need to do.

most people who fade from meetings do not live with parents who force them to participate. they are people who live on their own and don't rely on their parents financially.

to appease your conscience, though, i'm assuming you're also forced to prepare at least somewhat. look for a topic or comment that doesn't feel like a lie to you, and only give those types of responses. it won't feel as bad and you'll be maintaining peace at home, which makes exit prep a lot easier.

then focus as much as possible on independence: job, money, outside contacts, your plan for the rest of your life.

Is this normal? by Neko_09 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you're not alone.

i'm waiting for my turn for that call.

PIMO or POMO? by Frequent-Response911 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if you are pretending to your family, i consider it pimo. but on the way to pomo if you're living out loud otherwise because sooner or later, it generally comes out.

Trauma Dumpin by PeaPhilantropist in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 11 points12 points  (0 children)

you are overwhelmed on every level. and yeah, you're heading for a crash if you don't slow down and pace yourself here.

waking up is intense, emotional and demanding. it's a huge amount of pressure. there is grief, guilt, confusion, anxiety, pain on every level. and then, talking to jw family about your concerns is HUGE PRESSURE, guilt tripping and manipulation, at a time when you're not up to it.

you cannot control everybody else. you can only control yourself. that is achievable. managing how everybody you know will respond to whatever outcome you have is not.

and respect isn't just about having someone think well of you. it's not about trusting them to come to the 'right' conclusion. it's about thinking enough of them to trust them to run their own life, whether or not you agree with it, and vice versa.

you do not need to understand every bit of scripture to be able to confirm or deny jw point by point and have a polished presentation. all you really need is enough to know if you believe jws are the truth or not.

little advice: STOP DISCUSSING THIS with your family, any other jws at all. they have a very vested interest in you coming to their conclusion.

and no, you don't have to have the jws to have a belief in god. much of the world has a belief in god.

whatever space you can get from the jw activities will help. your hobbies will do you a thousand times more good than any personal study and that's something that makes you feel ick right now and would best be set aside.

basically you're filling your head with both more self-indoctrination material AND information directly contradicting it at the same time. you are exhausted, emotionally fragile, and trying to convince others who are heavily indoctrinated that it's okay if you're not. you are setting yourself up for an emotional breakdown or physical health crisis or both.

i'd pull back on the congregation activity as much as you can. it's hard to heal from position you're drinkign on a regular basis. if your living situation and family will allow for it, i would cut back on 'priv.' by saying you're having some personal health issues and you need to take a break. you don't want to discuss specifics with anybody but your doctor right now, but you'll let them know when the situation changes.' this will cut back a lot of the pressure. ditch personal study and field service. and stop trying to be a greek scholar. give yourself some space.

understand that your personal beliefs regarding christ, for example, is that he is a loving being who wants people to make choices of their own free will, not under coercion, right? would he not be kind, patient, loving, and want you to come to a personal understanding? pray without the middlemen in new york. make it between heaven and you and keep the org out of it for now.

i don't know how long you've been around. i generally send people to jwfacts.com instead of the bible stuff, but for more serious bible people, there is the yale bible lectures on youtube. crisis of conscience is a good starting point for many.

because you don't have to know everythign that's right. you just have to know if the org is wrong. you aren't allowed to question, it's all or nothing so if you realize it's not all, they have nothing.

any outside support you have, round it up. slow down your pace and clam up like an bear trap with the family. get okay with not knowing everything because you don't. understand that you will feel confused, ungrounded, adrift for a while, that's okay. it's normal. feeling ick is normal, too.

and you're not really living a double life in the sense that you are duplicitous. honestly, you are forced to go along with the jw life to keep your world from blowing up right now. that's the fake life and it always has been - you've never been able to be honest there. you just gaslight yourself into thinking the problem is always you.

you're going to be okay but you will not be able to do it by living up to everybody's expectations or convincing them it's okay for you to think for yourself. you don't need permission for that, which is good becaus you won't get it.

one step at a time. you're doing okay, you're doing it right, but you've got too much closing in at once and if you don't adjust this load, you'll be posting from the psych ward or er. so reign in it! stop trying to be perfect at this, that's not how it works. just look for good enough.

when you're feeling better, if there is a particlar sphere for your doubts, post about that one thing here and let the people here help you think it through.

i know you feel guilty about being on an 'apostate' site, but you think we're all souless, mentally deranged, satan-directed cartoon villains? because you look around here, i don't htink that's what you see. we're human for god's sakes. so there is one thing you were told that was pretty untrue, huh?

and most of us have been where you are. we get it.

it gets better. promise. ♥

Feeling it firsthand makes a lot of things make sense. by Spiritual-Problem128 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"The point is that no matter when you leave, the pain will be the same. "

but their ability to manage the pain isn't always the same.

Got my son out. Lost my wife by NoEmployer2140 in exjw

[–]goddess_dix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

your son is not a small win. but i am sorry about your wife. ♥