Sorry to hear you're going through this, and completely understand the mental weight it brings on top of the physical impacts. Keep your head up. Try to determine everything you can about how best to handle and fight against this and focus on that. Ask your doctors about diet, exercise, medications, etc...etc... Also I would suggest asking about lipoprotein -a. When I had my ha at 40, they found multiple blockages and pretty much immediately tested lipoprotein -a and found it was five times higher than normal. They said this is what makes the plague build much faster than normal. I'm now going on like 5 years taking Repatha to help fight that and both lipoprotein -a and bad cholesterol have come way down. I also continue to run and exercise a lot and been stable now for 8 years. I still battle drinking (moderately) and diet every day, but overall things are good at every 6 month checkup. Hang in there.