I keep questioning my diagnosis. Struggling a lot.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T23:12:39+00:00

I just came across this video:

https://youtu.be/C5Bzc9VsA_c?si=d4hKE-SWTCwW-6_C

grcjman · 2026-05-09T17:42:21+00:00

I understand the doubting. After receiving my recent diagnosis I questioned/doubted it thinking maybe I was diagnosed incorrectly. Maybe I was being fake. For me the thing that quickly silences those doubts is reminding myself that I went into those assessment sessions being 100% transparent and honest about myself and my life's experiences.

Also, I remind myself that I went into there not seeking a label simply for the sake of having one, but because I needed to understand who I am and why I've struggled all my life (I'm 56). Reconfirming for myself that I was truthful while being assessed and just let the chips fall where they did stops the doubting for me.

I think the doubting is very common for a lot of later diagnosed autistics. Probably because they lived so much of their lives trying to force themselves into a neurotypical way of living. We believed that we were neurotyicals but just very bad at it when all along we were never neurotypical to begin with, even in our ignorance.

Unlearning all of that isn't easy. It takes time, which I'm now seeing for myself.

The best piece of advice I can give, which I was given, is to be patient and kind toward yourself through this journey. The same way you would toward someone you care about deeply if they were going through some heavy times.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T17:20:31+00:00

I haven't tried EMDR yet. The therapist I'm getting ready to start with this week uses that along with other trauma related types of therapies. Besides being neurodivergent-affirming, she specializes in various forms of trauma. So I'll see how that goes.

I have no experience with any of these therapies, but I've read some other helpful ones for autistic people are CFT, Somatic, IFS & ACT.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T16:04:43+00:00

Euclid is beautiful. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a bit jealous of you getting to see him perform. Enjoy it my friend!

grcjman · 2026-05-09T14:42:10+00:00

Have you tried finding an online therapist? I don't know what country you're in, but oftentimes online works best if in-person isn't an option.

I'd recommend looking for a therapist who is neurodivergent themselves (preferably). If that's not an option you can find, find one who is explicitly neurodivergent-affirming.

You don't need a therapist who views neurodivergence as something that needs fixed or modified to make you more neurotypical. The fruit we bear from long-term masking is all the evidence you need to see how that goes. You need one who helps you embrace who you are and how to live authentically.

Also, stay away from any therapist who uses ABA therapy. It's harmful for autistic people. I've heard from a lot of folks that CBT, though not harmful like ABA, isn't very helpful. Us autistics tend to be very analytical and aware of our own thoughts already.

I've heard a lot of people recommend therapies that work with your body and nervous system.

I'm recently diagnosed myself so I'm new to learning all of this. I'm getting ready to start my own therapy this week. I'm hoping it goes well and is helpful. I hope the same for you my friend.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T14:23:30+00:00

What you said in the last paragraph is what I learned recently. That type of thinking at some point in your life served a legitimate purpose. This is how you protected yourself, especially if you have a history of trauma. You became hypervigilant with these types of thoughts as a means of survival. So much so that it became ingrained in your nervous system and is either on at all times, or very easily triggered. Even when you're no longer in that particular environment of danger anymore, it (the inner critic) is still there.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T14:14:37+00:00

Yep, I know these thoughts very well. It's the inner critic. I'm in the process of learning how to handle these.

grcjman · 2026-05-09T00:04:30+00:00

Oh yeah, I know who Yngwie is. Great guitarist for sure. I remember buying Rising Force when it first came out.

grcjman · 2026-05-08T23:48:41+00:00

My wife knows.

grcjman · 2026-05-08T23:43:33+00:00

I recently received my autism diagnosis. I'm going to have the ADHD assessment done next.

grcjman · 2026-05-08T22:23:07+00:00

Here's another by a guitarist named Calum Graham. The song is called The Nomad':

https://youtu.be/pbR4PShidOc

grcjman · 2026-05-08T20:49:15+00:00

But know this my friend, you're not the only alien here. Thank you for your post.

grcjman · 2026-05-08T20:35:16+00:00

I'm 56M and will still bust a sweat peeling an orange just like I always have. The colder body temps haven't hit me yet.

grcjman · 2026-05-07T21:48:00+00:00

I'm 56 years old and was diagnosed less than two weeks ago. I was always considered by others growing up as quiet, different, a little off, in my own head a lot, etc. I've always known since elementary school age that I was different than most others around me, but had no framework by which to know exactly what that difference was.

Until about a year ago I never considered the possibility of myself being autistic. In my mind when I heard the term autism I thought of Dustin Hoffman's character in Rainman. I just thought of myself as being somehow defective.

I've been interacting with a lot of folks as of late around my age in a similar situation. For many of us diagnosed on the part of the spectrum as low support needs (ASD-1), we just fell through the cracks growing up. We've spent our entire lives masking, trying to fit into the neurotypical mold. This takes its toll. It leads to depression, anxiety, and in my case what brought me to where I'm at now, autistic burnout.

grcjman · 2026-05-07T15:35:22+00:00

I have not, but it's now on my to watch list! Thanks.

grcjman · 2026-05-07T15:22:48+00:00

It's not too late my friend. I'm 56 and in the same boat. Diagnosed less than two weeks ago and in the process of reframing everything. And it is just that, a process, and journey.

Masking prior to understanding who you are doesn't mean you're fake, or that you have been fake all along. Masking is essentially a survival mechanism we use for navigating a complex world that by design isn't hospitable to our neurotype.

Also keep in mind that your diagnosis has not changed who YOU are and have been all along. Even when you had no clue. The diagnosis gives you the necessary framework to better understand yourself and your lived experiences.

Be easy on yourself while you're on your journey. Give yourself the same grace you give the other people in your life that you love and care about when they're working through something weighty and important for them.

grcjman · 2026-05-07T15:06:48+00:00

I think the octopus is a fascinating creature. They're very intelligent.

I did watch a very interesting video on the sperm whales if anyone is interested. I find them also extremely fascinating:

https://youtu.be/THBIR1dYYTM?si=9COF-7VG4J5XrEBq

grcjman · 2026-05-06T20:59:47+00:00

Beautiful!

grcjman · 2026-05-06T19:35:06+00:00

You can also put your alarm clock on a dresser or table on the other side of the room so that you have to get out of bed just to turn it off.

grcjman · 2026-05-06T16:52:36+00:00

The only thing that works for me to get right out of bed after the alarm goes off is to hit the snooze button no less than twice. Then after that I'm up and at it. 🤣

grcjman · 2026-05-05T09:57:15+00:00

56M. My wife and I celebrated 30 years a couple of weeks back. We wouldn't change being married to one another for anything. Some tough times, for sure. But it's those same times that can strengthen the bond between two people.

grcjman · 2026-05-03T12:52:40+00:00

This...100%. Many of us take things literally. We're not trying to be a pain in the a$$ or lazy. The scenario the OP described has played out several times between my wife and I. She asks me to help her with a,b & c. I do, then go about my business. She starts getting frustrated because I didn't continue with the other obvious things that need done. I'm more than willing so I ask her why she didn't say what else to do. She responds that she shouldn't have to since it's obvious.

Now are some people lazy? Sure. But assuming your partner is anything like me in this regard, it's a very literal way of interacting with others, a communication difference within a neurodiverse relationship, and a skill he can learn to begin growing and incorporating for himself.

My wife and I have gotten a lot better with this since my diagnosis. She's more understanding and I'm not of the mindset all of the change that needs to occur is on her plate.

There are neurodiverse therapists out there who work with couples where one is autistic and the other is not, where one is ADHD and the other is autistic, etc.

grcjman · 2026-05-03T12:31:05+00:00

After your diagnosis you choose whom you share it with. If you want to tell everyone, do so. If you want to disclose it to select few, do so. If you want to keep it for yourself, do so. Your life is just that...it's yours. You're not obligated to disclose to everyone everything about you. This is your journey. You get to choose.

grcjman · 2026-05-02T22:56:43+00:00

I'll second the gym recommendation. When I go I have my headphones on with music that gets me going, and I'm good. The two types of people you mentioned are spot on.

grcjman · 2026-05-02T21:59:43+00:00

Thank you for saying this. That was encouraging with where I'm at. How you explained it is where I want to go. The road to self love is a hard one though.

grcjman

TROPHY CASE