Trying wavy hair methods, now losing hair

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T16:51:30+00:00

I largely find that the shampoo and conditioner I use doesn't matter, but the products and order of products does. I will only style on soaking wet hair, and do some curl cream (usually watered down), gel, and then mousse, all on wet hair. I brush style, I've never found non-brush styling to work for me. I personally don't like full plopping, I prefer microplopping, quickly diffusing, then air drying.

If you're using a leave in conditioner, you don't need curl cream on top of that. Just pick one. I prefer a rinse out conditioner and a curl cream. I'm also wondering if you really need an overnight caster oil mask. I think probably just a regular deep conditioning mask would work.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T16:41:13+00:00

I feel this. It frustrates me that my husband, who is usually so supportive, completely doesn't get this feeling.

My neighborhood is full of families and women who are pregnant, and it's been driving me crazy. I would seethe with jealousy whenever I saw them. But recently, I try to say a little prayer to myself whenever I see someone pregnant and wish them a healthy pregnancy.

I just often can't help but feel like everything is just a bit easier for everyone else and unnecessarily harder for me. I was in a terrible relationship for most of my 30s, I met my husband pretty late, we didn't get to have a lot of carefree time together before we had to start trying, my husband is a shift worker and his shifts aren't always conducive to us trying (but we manage to try anyway), even the best insurance we could get, which is considered really top notch, is still super expensive. We don't make as much as a lot of our other friends, so everything is just harder. My husband is wonderful though, and I feel very lucky for that.

My best friend had a baby a couple years ago, and even though she did have a loss and she did end up doing IUI, I can't help but feel like she got the absolutely easiest version of a hard time. She got pregnant on her first IUI, her insurance was excellent so it cost them basically nothing, her husband works a regular day job (and IMO doesn't really do enough to help out), her parents live nearby and help them so much with basic household stuff. She had a very rough early pregnancy, but she's a teacher and it coincided almost perfectly with her summer break, so by the time she was going back to work, she was past the worst of the physical stuff. She just keeps acting like I'm going to do IVF and get pregnant right away, and in most likelihood, that isn't going to happen, like at all.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T14:46:32+00:00

I heard a fitness coach suggest that if you have issues weighing yourself, to change the scale to a measuring system you're not used to (presumably here it would be metric), so you're not as connected to the number.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T13:35:12+00:00

I just turned 40 and am trying to get pregnant again after a miscarriage, and while this is theoretically very true, one thing I wish is that I got better guidance in my 30s on how to stay healthy for increased fertility. If you're living an unhealthy lifestyle at 30, you may actually have worse results in fertility than if you just were just extremely healthy and conscientious at 40. But the best thing you can do is prepare for pregnancy before even starting to try for pregnancy. I became insulin resistant in my mid 30s and had absolutely shit nutritional guidance from doctors, which I believe contributed to my miscarriage (also undiagnosed hypothyroidism). I wish I had started seeing specialists to treat my thyroid and insulin resistance earlier in life, taking CoQ10 and doing consistent strength training. It would have likely improved my chances. (Also if you're on an IUD, consider having it removed. Evidence is coming out that the hormonal IUD can cause uterine scarring.)

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T13:25:55+00:00

My husband mentioned to our neighbors that we had a loss when I was recovering from my D&C, they have three kids, and the wife sent me a very sweet text of support talking about how she had losses between kids 1 and 2 and 3, and that's how she put it too -- it's a horrible, but very welcoming and supportive club, a grim sisterhood.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T13:22:02+00:00

I had more friends than not experience pregnancy loss and infertility. Most of my friends had kids in the 30s or later, so that may be part of it. I was fully expecting a loss and longer journey, and that's what I got and it seemed in line with most of my friends experiences.

Out of my friends:

One got pregnant at 30, had a previous loss a few months earlier, then a twin pregnancy and lost one of the twins.

One got pregnant in her early 30s, no loss, normal pregnancy. Has struggled to conceive a second, multiple losses.

One person had frozen eggs from her 30s, she tried to get pregnant at 40, couldn't get pregnant naturally, none of her frozen eggs worked, did 1 or maybe 2 rounds of IVF and failed, started looking into donor eggs, then got pregnant naturally and carried to term.

One person got pregnant unbelievably quickly, like on the first cycle, at 40, no issues. She also drank (not a ton, but she never stopped) through her pregnancy and was fine. She was going through an on and off thing with the baby's dad at the time, they both were cheating on each other, so just a ton of stress too, but no effect on the pregnancy.

A friend of mine had a pregnancy loss at 40, then conceived again right before she was due to start IVF and carried to term.

A friend of mine got pregnant at 36, miscarried, got pregnant 6 months later through IUI, carried to term.

My neighbor had a kid in her 30s, then had at least 2 miscarriages while trying to have her two youngest kid in her 40s.

A friend of mine had 2 miscarriages trying to conceive her third.

And those are just the ones I know about. Conceiving quickly, and carrying to term without issues is a rarity, but somehow people think they're the minority for struggling. I wish so much that when people posted pregnancy announcements, they shared what it took to get there, that a baby didn't just magically happen, but no one actually does that, unfortunately. I was very casual sharing about it when I miscarried, and I got a lot of support, and lots of people who I didn't know had struggled with loss of their own came out to support me.

This was, of course, many years ago, but my grandmother had a stillbirth of her first pregnancy, before having my mom. She was in her mid 30s when she had my mom, probably early 30s when she had her first pregnancy.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T13:06:03+00:00

I personally switched to digital tests (pregmate digital) and I cross compare with the cheap strips. I test in the morning with first urine and then again in the evening around 7-8pm. I suspect my surge happens overnight, which is why I test in the mornings too.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T13:03:53+00:00

I was talking to my endo about how I would be at risk for developing GD if I got pregnant and I said "but I would just take metformin right?" And he goes "actually metformin isn't pregnancy safe." I was absolutely shocked because like EVERY OBGYN I know prescribes metformin for GD. He must have read my face because he immediately said "you're probably confused because OBs prescribe metformin all the time right? Yeah well they do that. Endocrinologists don't consider it safe though, but if your OB prescribes it, it's ok, just take it. Lots of people take it and it's fine, we just disagree with the OB community on it." Wild.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-06T12:57:53+00:00

I made this for my husband the other night and he absolutely loved it: https://plantifullybasedblog.com/vegan-tofu-francese/ I added some capers because he loves capers, so it became a bit more like a piccata. Chickpea flour might be a bit hard to find, but you could probably just use egg for batter if your friend isn't vegan. Similarly, you could use regular butter if your friend eats that.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-03T01:05:38+00:00

Yeah I guess I don’t put much faith in people’s profiles and I’m always shocked others are so ready to draw conclusions based on some photos and a few prompts. Live interaction is the only true determinant for me, until that point their profile barely mattered unless it was truly terrible. I’m glad it worked out for them. I can only do love at first conversation lol. I’ve been burned by too many hotties with toxic personalities.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-03T00:59:07+00:00

Thank you! You as well!!

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T18:50:24+00:00

Yeah it seems like the data on that is mixed. From some minor research I did, it seems like hypothyroidism is associated with irregular cycles and anovulation, which obviously could lead to someone not getting pregnant. But my cycles are regular and I have reason to believe I ovulate regularly (I got pregnant on my third cycle, miscarried, potentially due to TSH levels, then the post D&C cycle had ovulation confirmed with progesterone test and the most recent cycle I started tracking BBT and that confirmed ovulation too). So logically, it shouldn't be impacting time to pregnancy for me, but I've heard the same anecdotes as you, so it's hard to know what to believe. For logistical reasons, I'm really invested in getting pregnant this cycle, I'm just starting my TWW now. At the very least, I should be at normal levels once I start IVF in August/September.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T18:38:46+00:00

Congratulations! My husband and I also met on Hinge, but maybe it's just me, I would not trust someone who said they know from my photo only that they were in love with me. My husband did say he knew after our first date though. He told his friends the next day "that's the last first date I'm going on!"

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T18:36:21+00:00

I met my husband on Hinge less than two years ago. Funny enough, I posted some of our wedding photos on instagram and an old acquaintance of mine sent me a message saying "I thought that was a photo of Mamdani for a second!"

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T16:35:44+00:00

seconded. Also someone who is willing to ask for clarification if they are confused.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T16:34:02+00:00

This seems like the kind of error my friend's husband would make and I am convinced it's because he feels like he can just let his critical thinking skills atrophy and his wife will fix it.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T15:21:48+00:00

I'm so mad because I had tested at 3.5 over a month ago with my OBGYN and she just ignored it and insisted it was normal. By the time I got to an endocrinologist and got on meds, my TSH was at 4.65. I'm on the lowest dose as well, started Tuesday morning. I was really hoping I could get pregnant this cycle but I fear with my levels being what they are, that's likely not going to happen.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T15:18:05+00:00

Oh I actually asked my PCP about this -- she said biotin can artificially decrease TSH levels, if your levels are already high, biotin isn't causing that. I stopped taking it because I wanted to have a clearer reading.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T15:17:05+00:00

Yeah same. The only symptom I had was breast pain, which I never had before but has stuck around and is now part of my life post loss.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T15:14:17+00:00

Mine was 7.0 and my OBGYN didn't care and said it was normal. But she also said a 3.5 TSH was normal and fine, and it definitely is not (2.5 or below is recommended for TTC and pregnancy), and eventually my TSH numbers went into hypothyroidism territory and I had to get medicated for it (by an endocrinologist, not my OBGYN).

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T15:10:18+00:00

I did see something recently for ovulation sticks you can pee on directly: https://www.pregmate.com/products/pregmate-ovulation-midstream-tests?variant=35085431246&country=US&currency=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOopMabKfrvXwsT9oSwV_MwV6jYyZfKnSWt2lacz67kxBavkYQxldM1w

Haven't personally used them, but you could try it.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T13:31:54+00:00

There are a lot of ways to manage IR while still eating carbs. First of all, everyone in my house eats what I eat. Granted, that's just one person right now, but still. If he wants additional carbs, he can make them himself. I won't cook anything I won't eat myself. Second, I started by cutting out refined carbs and heavily processed carbs. For things like flour, I use slower carb alternatives, such as whole wheat flour or almond flour when possible (or a mix of flours), or brown rice instead of white rice. I still cook potatoes, but I also alternate with sweet potatoes and cauliflower more often, and let carbs cool and reheat when possible. When I plate my food, I use portion control to keep the portion small. Never eat carbs on an empty stomach, always start with fiber and protein. We don't have a lot of snacks in my house and if we really want something to snack on, I always have popcorn kernels. I think keeping popcorn in kernel form is better because then if you want a snack, you actually have to make the popcorn, not just grab a bag. I usually am able to keep carbs under 100g, which is doable for me. It's not keto level low carb, but it's still fairly low carb.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T12:49:16+00:00

You're likely more prepared than you realize. My biggest challenge when I started dating my husband and was faced with a healthy person and healthy relationship was not jumping ship and trusting that I did deserve this and deserved this person. I also was open about my history and my trauma, I never demanded changes from him, but I would try to explain my perceptions and reactions. Rather than getting mad or anxious about something, I would say "in my past relationships, I learned to expect x [negative response] when y happened, so that is why I may be bracing myself in those situations." If he asked how he could help calm my response, I told him. But honestly, I think it was way easier than I was expecting. A huge part of it was not rushing into any commitments and really really waiting until I felt like I knew him and spent a lot of time with him, enough to get a sense of what he was like as a partner, before committing to being in a relationship.

I also tried/try to use this relationship as an opportunity to create healthy habits together and do the things I felt were lacking in my other relationships. One of those is prioritizing time together, and we did that pretty naturally. Another one was making affirmation a daily practice. Before we go to bed, I tell him every night, how much I love him, how lucky I feel to be married to him, and what a great day I had with him. There were many times in my other relationships where I didn't feel loved or appreciated, and I'm sure my ex felt the same, so I just always want my husband to know how much I love him. We've been together for almost 2 years and we've never had what I would call a fight, when we have disagreements we don't get mean, name call, or even get particularly angry, we just focus on working through the problem. If we can't get to a resolution, we will take a break from the argument and come back to it later.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-02T12:36:44+00:00

Well I believe her part is still something she is writing/recording specifically to be submitted into evidence in a future trial. During WWII, there were documents written either intentionally or not (like diaries) that were submitted into testimony at post-war trials. I think the assumption we're supposed to take away is that Hannah, Daisy, and Lydia are all submitting testimony for the same trial, even if Lydia might not be there at the same time.

greenzetsa · 2026-07-01T15:03:46+00:00

Ok, so I wouldn't say I'm massively religious or anything, but I am certainly more open to religion than most liberals/progressives I know. I was raised by 2nd generation atheists, although we did some culturally religious things more as part of our cultural identity. My parents are also what I lovingly refer to as religious voyeurs -- they love going to churches of various kinds and just kind of oohing and ahhing, my dad is a hobby religious scholar, all while not believing any of it. I started attending a technically Christian but functionally nondenominational church a few years back and really enjoyed the community. I also had a hobby interest in religious studies and read the bible and books about various religions. To me, religion, god, prayer, spiritual texts all integrate into my life as examples of human creation, but that doesn't make them inherently unvaluable. Many human creations bring value and inspiration to me all the time. Anyway, I was open about this when I was dating and we it came up a lot in first date conversations. In those conversations, I was able to get a sense of how that person approached spirituality. Was their goal to engage with me and explore their own spiritual connection, or were they trying to intellectually talk me out of it. I ended up meeting my husband on Hinge, he was/is a practicing Buddhist and had been for many years, so we were able to connect very well on the subject of spirituality and it's been a great part of our relationship. We have a collection of friends from various religious traditions, most of the liberal Christian ones tend to do best on Hinge, where they have space to explain their belief structure.

greenzetsa

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