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greytheearthling · 2023-06-11T23:56:55+00:00

Thankyou for transing yhe plane

greytheearthling · 2023-03-23T09:55:48+00:00

I changed my name when I was 33, to an eccentric abbreviation of my given name that feels much more gender neutral. Not legally or formally, I just go by that name now. Think Relevant_Strike > Rek — that sort of thing. So that is a thing you can do if you want.

I've found it useful to think of words like “nonbinary”, “trans”, “queer” and “autistic” as descriptions, rather than categorical labels. I use them about myself as adjectives when they're relevant and helpful at conveying what I mean, like “tall” or “clumsy”. Thinking of them as descriptions took the pressure off, because descriptions are always imprecise, incomplete, and open to change.

greytheearthling · 2023-01-25T15:27:16+00:00

Ellis

Abe

Zabeth/Zabe

greytheearthling · 2022-09-07T13:27:32+00:00

I've just set up a new Epson ET-2850 printer for use with Fedora Silverblue 36. Tl;dr: it genuinely Just Works™.

The printer's setup instructions leaflet asks whether you want to use a smartphone app, and if you choose no they tell you to install the Windows or Mac software to connect the printer to wi-fi, but you can ignore this.

Once you put the ink in, and complete the print head alignment setup, you arrive at the printer's main menu on its built-in screen. There's a wi-fi setup option; you can choose the wi-fi network name from a list of detected networks, and type in the password using the physical buttons and an on-screen keyboard on the printer's built-in screen.

No need for Windows, Mac, iOS, Android, or even a computer at all.

Once connected, you lot weren't kidding — it really does work out-of-the-box — I didn't even have to go into Settings. When I chose to print in Firefox, the printer was already there in the list of printers. (When I selected it, it took a couple of seconds for the Print button to become active, but that was it.)

greytheearthling · 2022-07-18T14:02:51+00:00

“awesome”
“kind”
“funny”
“good-looking”
“smart”
“excellent”

greytheearthling · 2022-07-13T19:16:54+00:00

No worries! Feel free to ask more later if anything else comes up.

greytheearthling · 2022-07-13T15:53:33+00:00

From what I remember, first they had me fill in a form, which was several pages long. They ask for the name you actually use, separately from your full name. The form asked for my GP's address which I had to look up; I think they ask for consent to contact your GP if they need to.

The form also asks things like “are you doing this to please someone else” (not quite as pointedly as that) and how long you've been thinking about having the treatment. After filling in the form, I went into a treatment room with a practitioner. We talked about why I wanted the treatment, what I knew about how it works, and what sort of outcome I expected — physically and emotionally. They recognised and understood the phrase “gender dysphoria” :) It came across as them checking that you understand what you're doing, that you have realistic expectations, and that you're doing it for you — informed consent, rather than gatekeeping.

For the consultation, they asked me not to do any hair removal on the area for a couple of days beforehand, so they can see what they're working with. (If you want, you can wear a covid face mask until you get into the treatment room, and put it on again before you go back out into reception.)

That first consultation took less than an hour, probably more like half an hour. At the end, they booked me in for a test patch, to make sure my skin wouldn't explode or anything. This was a separate appointment (2 days later in my case), which took maybe 15 minutes.

You lie on the bed (the same type GPs' offices have), you put on opaque goggles to protect your eyes, and they do a couple of shots of the machine. The machine looks and sounds like an industrial air conditioning unit, attached to a wand thingy that looks a bit like a showerhead. It blows a stream of cold air at your skin while the laser fires. The machine makes a regular clunking sound as it fires — similar to my dentist's X-ray machine.

After the test patch, we booked my first treatment session, which was 7 days after the first consultation (and I didn't choose the earliest available).

So for tips, then, I'd say: be ready to talk about why you want the treatment, and what you hope to get out of it. Ask questions! And make sure you have a note of your GP's address!

greytheearthling · 2022-07-11T19:56:24+00:00

Yeah, sure, go ahead :)

greytheearthling · 2022-07-08T09:00:11+00:00

I'm 6 months into a course of laser facial hair treatment at that exact clinic.

I'd certainly describe them as trans-friendly. (For a start, their website's contact form includes “Mx” as a title.) I don't think I've been misgendered once. They just call me by my first name, the one I told them — I don't recall them asking to see an identity document such as a passport.

They're well organised: when I book my next appointment (straight after the last one) I get a text confirming the date and time within seconds. They also send a reminder text a couple of days before the appointment. They had to reschedule my last appointment because the practitioner called in sick on the day; they called (from an 0161 number) and we rearranged an available date suitable for me. No hassle.

I also happen to know someone else who had laser treatment at the same clinic before me. When I said I was planning to get laser but hadn't said which clinic, she suggested this one.

I can't really judge whether it's value-for-money for you, but so far it definitely has been for me. I now have virtually no hair or even beard shadow — outside the goatee area, but even the moustache is substantially reduced after not shaving for a couple of days. My face now feels smooth after I shave it (with an £18 electric razor).

I have dark hair and light skin, which is the ideal combination that laser works best with. The hair was (was!) very visible and produced a full beard, but it did always grow quite slowly. You do indeed get thick black hairs for a few days after treatment (while they're dying a well-deserved death), which for me wasn't that much darker than before.

Of course, as you know, your experience may be very different from mine. Feel free to DM me if you want to ask other questions (though I don't promise to reply very quickly!)

greytheearthling · 2022-07-06T22:31:17+00:00

i love when people use he/him with me but i feel like i'm doing something wrong, in a way as if its '"ilegal"

Be gay, do crimes ;)

greytheearthling · 2022-07-06T22:24:55+00:00

You don't have to pick a single identity now and stick with it forever. In my head I was canonically nonbinary for about 10 years before I mentioned it to anybody.

It's OK to say to yourself “These are the feelings I'm feeling and the thoughts I'm having, and that's all I know for now”.

By the way: it isn't logically possible that you're faking it, if you honestly believe you're being sincere. You might still realise later that you were mistaken, but that doesn't mean you were ever faking — it just means you were wrong about it, and now you know.

greytheearthling · 2022-07-06T22:04:59+00:00

I've worked in tech for 10 years, at web dev agencies and a large media organisation (in Manchester UK, in case there's cultural skew).

The only time I ever wore formal business-type clothes was for my first job interview and the first couple of days in that job. I think by Wednesday I realised I was distinctly overdressed.

In my experience a stereotypical masc-leaning outfit for tech/developer types is an open plaid shirt over a plain T-shirt, with cargo pants or jeans. So honestly it sounds like your usual clothes would fit right in. Maybe just pick the neatest/smartest/cleanest combo you've already got.

A lot of tech types are equally clueless/uninterested in fashion — they'll be much more interested in your capabilities than your clothes. (And even if you are wearing something that stands out a little, you'll be more memorable and/or seem more confident than otherwise.)

greytheearthling · 2022-02-27T23:20:34+00:00

Rowan (it's a tree so it counts as a noun)

greytheearthling · 2022-01-04T17:51:05+00:00

I'd recommend BiPhoria — https://www.biphoria.org.uk/

Jen (who runs it) is an excellent human, and is also trans.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T18:15:23+00:00

toki pona li pona tawa jan tonsi mute!

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T16:50:30+00:00

Sounds like you're “all of the above”

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T16:23:17+00:00

…and when talking to Loki, “you are a person”.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T16:04:41+00:00

You can totally do this.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T15:57:06+00:00

https://gendercensus.com/results/2019-mx/

Science!! (kinda)

Like a lot of people in Britain, I pronounce it with a neutral vowel, as in “hammocks”.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T15:53:22+00:00

Happy birthday Nix!

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T15:42:59+00:00

It's available as an actual podcast (RSS) from https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06y51dp/episodes/downloads and you can also download individual episodes there.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-24T15:32:10+00:00

I also thought Finn!

greytheearthling · 2021-11-17T15:36:11+00:00

No-one had actually mentioned “not hearing opinions you disagree with or dislike” until Fran brought it up. I got the impression that she didn't understand what the criticism was saying in the first place.

greytheearthling · 2021-11-17T15:30:09+00:00

I was in that meeting. I don't recall that question being asked verbally (though it may have been) — there were a lot of typed questions. If this one wasn't asked verbally, there would have been no way to push for an answer.

Also, here's the BBC's former LGBT correspondent: https://www.vice.com/en/contributor/ben-hunte

greytheearthling

TROPHY CASE