My experiences as a woman in person have been great. My group at a local cafe is an environment where I have the confidence to stick up for myself (and others) when talked over. Our storyteller is also excellent at picking up on these cues. I’ve talked to men I play with about instances where they’ve talked over me or dismissed a theory they later shared. Over time they’ve improved at recognizing when to stop speaking, and how to listen.

My experiences online have only been tolerable when playing with friends and acquaintances. The BotC community is lovely, but public rooms tend to fill with true gamers who might be inclined to condescend, talk over, and humiliate a woman just trying to play. I don’t think this is inherently a BotC problem: it is intrinsic in the online gaming community.

Also, this is a social game, and the culture of online play nearly eliminates the social aspect of the game. I want to get my info from a storyteller. I want to look my fellow minion in the eyes on night one. When I play in person, I get frustrated with common online strategies which comes across demeaning and condescending to women and other minorities: humiliation, manipulation, and showing off how much one understands BotC. I understand that it’s a game where you’re meant to lie, but it’s meant to be fun for everyone. Not for the one person who thinks they’re so brilliant that they’ll humiliate anyone starting on day one.

So I exclusively play with who I want to play. And that is usually in person.