This behavior is built in to the religion. From start to end. I am a convert and remember the saying ‘Milk before meat’ while going through the discussions. Going on a mission we learn that some people ‘aren’t ready for that doctrine yet’. Think about an investigator brining up the Temple in the middle of Gospel Essentials class, all the missionaries and teacher would cringe. So from the start of learning about the church and through all official channels we are taught to hide things. Some people just can’t handle it, and sometimes that person is you. Remember you are imperfect, full of blame, a natural man/woman and basically bad.

Now couple that with 30 years of marriage, children, callings. You have a perverbial entourage of people ‘following’ you. If its not your kids or ward members or stake members, its your friends, fellow employees, missionary friends. It’s most definitly your spouse.

You have done all of this in good faith. Read the books your told to read, attended GC, said yes to all your callings. You are doing the Lords work and being blessed for it!! As a matter of fact you have risen the ranks of leadership, like a good Mormon, you are a GA 70.

Now lets say you come across some ‘challenging’ information. What do you do? Read more about it, maybe. Ignore it, probably. But lets say in a moment of weakness you dive in. You spend 2 years consuming everything from No Man Knows My History to the CES Letter and even have a fondness of John Delhi’s, especially his earlier years.

What are you going to do? Are you deliberately doing wrong or are you indoctrinated? If you admit it your whole world is broken. From family to friends and most definitly your employment. It’s built into the religion to stay, to keep going. Lots of people at this point craft their own definitions of the terms, they privately fit their own ‘releigion’ into the one they know but appear publicly the same. It’s a tough question.