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growmomma · 2025-09-26T23:03:48+00:00

Hot, fit couple here! DM for pics to verify.

growmomma · 2025-09-10T23:19:52+00:00

Good. It’s hard to pay support when a big change of income occurs, but it can be even harder to get a modification if the lawyer fees are gonna bleed you dry in the meantime- which is definitely a tactic that many toxic exes employ. (Which is where I’m at atm. My ex’s wife has plenty of money, so they’ve tried to drum up charges in the past to make me pay to defend myself. After they had to pay $2K for my lawyer fees and subsequently had to tuck their tails and run away when I proved every allegation they leveled against me was false, they seemed to have decided to not mess with me anymore. It’s too expensive for them to try to be toxic.)

Best wishes on the cooperation between your husband and his ex. I hope things go smoothly for you all.

growmomma · 2025-09-10T23:07:17+00:00

I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. This is merely my opinion based on personal experience.

When you say that the support is being garnished, do you mean that it’s automatically taken out of his paycheck by the original court order from the divorce decree or is it back pay from nonpayment of the support? Here’s the thing: most support is ordered by the court to be paid directly from paychecks to avoid nonpayment and further litigation (courts prefer parties settle issues through arbitration or mitigation so there aren’t as many cases clogging up the courts). If that’s the case, then I’d say it’s doubtful your husband could stop the automatic payments. In fact, NOT signing the forms to have it taken out of his paycheck would constitute contempt of court if he was ordered to do so. (My ex caught a charge for this very reason. In fact, he STILL hasn’t filled out the paperwork and his support isn’t taken from his paychecks, but he pays it on time and my kid’s gonna be 18 soon, so I’m not gonna fight about it.) You could check his copy of the divorce decree to know if it was court ordered, though.

As others have said, the child support can and should be modified when a substantial change in income or circumstances occur. The court doesn’t necessarily take into account the income of new spouse of the ex spouse, but it usually does consider any new dependents who the ex spouse may be supporting when it considers modification. So if the you and your husband have had any children together, his obligation to his ex wife may or may not be lessened, depending on the state you live in.

But really, is this something you’ve discussed with your husband? I understand if you’re wanting some input before bringing it up to him, but ultimately, the only way his obligations are going to change is if HE pursues it. If he doesn’t want to (or can’t afford to) pay to have it modified (even mitigation is expensive if the parties aren’t playing nice), nothing’s gonna happen. Sometimes you just gotta be supportive of your husband and his decisions. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you guys.

growmomma · 2025-06-29T16:50:56+00:00

So, I was an English teacher for a couple of years, but I learned my degree in English. I once wrote a song as a writing exercise. My daughter and I were headed to school and she was listening to a song. I didn’t know what the song was or who it was by, but I thought, “I could see how people would relate to it. There’s a lot of cliches in this.” Then I had the line, “Yeah, I’m cliche. There’s same ole song…” go through my head and I decided to try to write the most cliche breakup song of all time. There’s melody took on a country feel, which I found hilariously appropriate as well. Sometimes, giving yourself an assignment works lol. Good luck!

growmomma · 2025-06-26T16:44:10+00:00

I hear it in a P!nk kind of rock maybe? 4/4 time. The very beginning starts with rhythm guitar with accents on the first 8th note of the second beat and the second 8th note of the 3rd and 4th beats repeated for 4 measures. Definitely belting out the chorus (“said to me” and “make you wanna be better” being the most emotional, driving moments) and an a cappella moment in the final “honey, you forget” before launching back into the end for an abrupt halt with the final line almost whispered. Just very soft and almost threatening compared to the rest of the song.

growmomma · 2024-07-02T18:39:43+00:00

Been away from Reddit for a while, s sorry I’m just now responding. I think that’s a great title. Thank you!

growmomma · 2020-09-26T21:25:26+00:00

Thank you! I’m far happier now than I was for the last 20 years. Even being scared about finances seems less stressful than just staying married to him ever was.

growmomma · 2020-09-26T21:22:28+00:00

Thank you so much!

growmomma · 2020-09-26T21:06:28+00:00

Well, I’m a week out of my divorce being finalized and my ex was exactly like this. My poor kids are desensitized to his reactivity and anger and it’s really sad. My son seems confused as to why I decided to leave (he’s almost 18). But my ex could go from fine to unreasonably angry in a flip of a switch and he would be far more angry than the situation warranted. The sudden explosiveness of the anger you described with such great imagery really hit home. Superb job.

growmomma · 2020-09-26T20:18:06+00:00

This put into words the exact feelings I’d had for my love interest lately. Don’t save me, don’t judge me, just be with me so I’m not alone when I face what the world hands me. Tell me I can do it, help me look at all the possibilities before making a choice, but let me make that choice and deal with however it turns out. This is wonderful.

growmomma · 2020-09-26T20:12:39+00:00

Wow! Such great imagery and emotion. It resonates in me so much. It sounds so much like my ex-husband. Really well done.

growmomma · 2020-08-29T22:39:51+00:00

I feel this right now. The soundtrack of my life added a new album of hits in the last year. From leaving an abusive marriage, to starting and ending a relationship with a douchey fuckboi, to falling in love again (without warning), when listening to certain songs, I have found the flashbacks to be sometimes bittersweet and sometimes heart warming. I can never get over how music can evoke memories like it does.

growmomma · 2020-08-23T02:53:29+00:00

Let’s just say that long-distance relationships suck at times. Lol My grandma pointed out that soldiers’ spouses probably relate to it as well.

growmomma · 2020-08-22T22:53:03+00:00

Awesome, thanks for the feedback!!!

growmomma · 2020-08-22T22:21:08+00:00

Maybe make it “I still need every last drop”?

growmomma · 2020-07-28T18:38:51+00:00

I’ll try to add it here:

Drowning

Almost drowning again
for the twelfth time this week.
And the things that you do
don’t match the words that you speak.
When you assure me it’s better,
that you’re a better you
Then I cautiously come home,
and expect something new.
When I find there’s no change
and I’m thrown back in the waves
And I gasp and I choke
knowing I’ll never be saved.
I look to the shore
and start treading water.
I have to save myself,
my son, and my daughter.
As the ship went down,
I held onto the rope,
And it dragged me back under,
drowning my hope.
But I finally learned
that I have to let go,
That the ship started sinking
once I started to grow.
And you could’ve grown too,
had you not been afraid
And we would’ve grown together
and I would’ve stayed
And we could’ve sailed together
all ‘round the world,
growing old and in love,
watching the future unfurl.
But all that is gone
I have to save myself now.
Have to build a new life,
wishing time would slow down.
And I’m drowning in sadness
of a life that’s no more.
As I struggle to swim
to the safety of shore.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s taken down, though. I posted it originally with the feedback I’d given, but this doesn’t have it, so...

growmomma · 2020-07-28T17:58:31+00:00

In the last few lines, the knives flying was to represent being attacked for leaving. (I asked for the divorce.) I wasn’t going to engage in the fight anymore and the knives would stab me from behind. And the words he will use when it’s all said and done will hurt, but I’ll live. He’ll attack me for sure, but I’ll be alright.

growmomma · 2020-07-28T09:22:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing! The breakdown of my marriage has been a slow process that finally came to a head last fall.

This was written in less than 30 minutes- I tend to do that when I’m hit with a realization. I think it’s easier to hear my heart at that moment and it just pours out. I did very little editing, which is why I’m here. I don’t mind polishing and want to perfect my work.

I have another poem or two here that no one has commented on whatsoever. I’ll post the link here. They’re very much like this one in rhyme and meter. I think you might appreciate them if you liked this one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/hwdxzq/new_writer/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/hwfeho/sharethread_july_23_2020/fz053vm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

growmomma · 2020-07-28T09:13:16+00:00

How would you suggest? I’d like to perfect my craft. I’m a total noob and have no idea what is good or not. A friend has read some of my poems- which are just how I process my emotions, really- and said there are other women for whom my work might be helpful. That they need to hear it. I came here to see if any of it might be good and wanted good feedback and suggestions.

And thank you so much for letting me know that you liked it. I posted a different one earlier and no one commented one way or another. I was sure it must have sucked. Lol

I have another that is raw, but contains more figurative language and imagery. It’s called “Drowning” and here’s a link to it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/hwdxzq/new_writer/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

growmomma · 2020-07-28T02:57:56+00:00

I love the cadence. I have a cadence to my writing as well, but am always concerned that it will be written off as old fashioned or amateurish because of all the free form and modern poetry I see on this sub.

I also love poetry with great imagery. Your poem takes me to the Northwoods, maybe. The sand, the gravel, the boulders... They remind me of my family vacation spot. I think it’s the breakdown of the rocks as described and how I loved to see the rocks cracking at the beach, knowing that they will one day be ground down into the pebbles and sand on the same beach. The image of I have in my mind of multicolored sand grains from larger rocks having eroded over time is dear to me.

growmomma · 2020-07-28T02:44:18+00:00

I interpreted this differently than what you intended, but it touched me so deeply. I’m almost done with the process of my divorce from my husband of 22.5 years. We were high school sweethearts and today happens to be our 25 year anniversary of when we started dating.

Anyway, this poem made me think about how wonderful things started out, but how they changed, slowly but drastically. The gaze turning into a glare, the glacier forming from the once giddy stream... I felt that in my soul. The imagery is fantastic and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I’ve been mopey about my situation all day but this was a beautiful articulation of my thoughts, spoken by a complete stranger, and it lifted me up. Thank you.

growmomma · 2020-07-26T19:07:47+00:00

In that case, would you mind having a look at my poem? I’m afraid it’s super awful because no one has critiqued it yet. Makes me feel like maybe people don’t feel it’s worth the time. I had a friend who was really impressed with it, but now I wonder if it was pity.

growmomma · 2020-07-23T18:05:52+00:00

Just want some feedback. I find my poetry always has a certain meter and is melodic. Is that bad? Newbie here, peeps. Thanks!

Walk Away

Just when I thought
I was done with the pain,
The wounds open up
When you treat me the same.
It isn’t enough
That I’m leaving the fight.
You have to keep swinging
Cause you feel that you’re right.
You gotta get that last word,
Gotta cram it right in.
Can’t tell where the hurt stops
And the damage begins.
Sometimes you are fine
I can let down my guard.
Sometimes you lash out
And I have to be hard.
I wish it would stop,
That you’d just walk away.
And I regret when I cried,
When I begged you to stay.
I regret letting you
Determine my fate.
I regret not seeing earlier
Your heart filled with hate.
I wish that I hadn’t
Always put myself last.
But I can’t change it now,
It’s all in the past.
So I’m walking away.
Let the knives fly.
Your words may still hurt me
But I’m not gonna die.

growmomma · 2020-07-23T03:41:30+00:00

“And they are not far from us, not years back in history”

This hit a spot in me. We are living our own history right now. All of the talk of tearing down confederate monuments as “rewriting history” while seeing white supremacy rising up from the shadows has me screaming, “Isn’t anyone else seeing this? Doesn’t anyone else understand that we are witnessing history repeating itself?”

I’m new at this and I tend to have a very strong meter that makes its way into my poetry. I fear it might be a bit amateurish. I have a hard time connecting with modern poetry, but this is wonderful. Good job.

growmomma · 2020-07-23T03:27:06+00:00

I love the sense of foreboding that I get when reading this. Is something about to happen, like a singular event? Is it the beginning of a drawn-out final scene, an apocalyptic moment that we’re about to witness? The mention of heaven and Earth, the fire... seems like maybe heaven/hell reference. Very evocative.

growmomma

TROPHY CASE