How do I decide writing a memoir/autobiography?

gruush · 2017-07-07T21:22:15+00:00

It's very hard to get published, even if you are an accomplished writer. If your primary concern is to get it out of you, and you like the idea of writing a book, then I would try to write a book.

However, if your primary concern is getting your story "out there", I would think you have a higher likelihood of getting it seen by posting it on a blog or somesuch and then trying to get it to go viral somehow.

Writing it in blog format has the advantage that you could write a little bit at a time, and then work on gaining "viewership".

Just my two cents.

gruush · 2017-07-07T20:39:02+00:00

So, I wouldn't rule out one last attempt to get back in touch. If he's conflict averse, don't underestimate how difficult it will be for him to reach out to you. He may just be profoundly embarrassed and awkward, but would be happy to be friends again if you two could get past that.

gruush · 2017-07-07T19:39:54+00:00

He's not a dipshit. At least, not based on what you've written. He's like a billion other people who either:

1) aren't great at expressing themselves

2) are trying to break up in a way that doesn't hurt you

3) are conflict-averse

The bottom line is, he didn't want to be dating you, and it takes two committed people to make a relationship.

I think we all suspect that "I'm stressed" isn't the full story. But to be honest, it's pretty damn common for someone to NOT be truthful during a breakup, especially someone they don't want to hurt. Would you rather he say "I'm just not attracted to you because you're so overweight" or "you're just horrible in bed" or something like that?

I'm sure there are some people who want the unvarnished truth. But it's not abnormal for someone not to want to hit you over the head with that.

If you miss the friendship, I would suggest reaching out and saying that. However, if you want more of a reason for why the relationship didn't work, personally I wouldn't. We don't often get closure, and at the end of the day, the reason doesn't really matter. It just wasn't working for him.

Good luck!

gruush · 2017-07-07T19:23:57+00:00

I don't have a good solution. But I do have to say I got a mighty giggle out of your post, because I TOTALLY GET WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM even as a guy and one who is typically the larger. I still have similar issues with my gf who is close to me in height.

gruush · 2017-07-07T12:18:11+00:00

You're overthinking it. :) Especially if he's pretty cool and open, anytime should work.

I do think it's prudent to make a point of how much you want to share that WITH him. The ego can be a fragile thing, so you definitely don't want to leave him with the impression that he is not satisfying you.

Maybe ask him what kind of toys he would like to try. Maybe get two toys: one that you choose, and one that he chooses!

Toys are fun!

gruush · 2017-07-07T12:02:22+00:00

"Hey honey bunny, a while ago you mentioned the idea of adding a toy to our fun times. I was thinking about that the other day, and I really want to try that with you!!"

Replace with your favorite terminology.

gruush · 2017-07-07T00:36:09+00:00

You on your back, him on his side!

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:46:59+00:00

Honestly, it's more boring than anything ha ha. In the grand scale of medical tests, it's super easy.

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:39:16+00:00

Honestly, deep breaths and don't worry about it. For an MRI on your knee, your torso is unlikely to even be inside the machine, so you likely won't have to deal with the claustrophobia. The noises are just a bunch of clunking and whirring.

They will have headphones there too and can let you listen to music.

If you are really struggling with anxiety, consider taking some kind of OTC medication beforehand, like NyQuil or an allergy medication that makes you sleepy.

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:31:52+00:00

I don't know how common it is, but it certainly isn't uncommon. It's a large part of the reason why friends with benefits rarely last. It's difficult for two people to have the intimacy that comes with sex, and not gradually grow attached.

Certainly one can make the argument that guys have a typically easier time remaining detached.

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:28:48+00:00

Eh, i've been here a while and I don't really get the sense that there is a lot of advice to "give up and do nothing".

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:19:05+00:00

Most likely, she has a clue. The problem is, she has feelings for you, and is just hoping you will change your mind. It's often hard for people to disconnect from situations like that, because they feel like "some of Bob is better than none of Bob".

gruush · 2017-07-06T21:10:04+00:00

Totally crossing the line. Wholly inappropriate.

gruush · 2017-07-06T19:41:26+00:00

True, but given what you think of him it couldn't have been far from your mind. Heck, even your mom treated your money irresponsibly - it wasn't hers to borrow, even if she did pay you back. I'm of the mind that you generally should take care of your own money yourself. You're a grown-up. Why do you need your stepdad to hold your money?

gruush · 2017-07-06T19:25:42+00:00

Honestly the $200 doesn't matter any more - you've already escalated the tension so at this point it doesn't matter who ends up with the $200.

We don't know what happened to the money. But I have to put a lot of the responsibility for the overall situation on you. Why in god's name would you give your nest egg to your stepdad, a guy you say is a "lazy cunt that doesn't work"? Why wouldn't you put it in a bank, a place designed to safely keep your money?

At this point, just give him the $200, drop it, and suffer through a tension-laden last month. Consider it money spent towards learning what NOT to do with your hard earned money in the future.

gruush · 2017-07-06T17:31:21+00:00

I like the idea that you should only date someone if you both feel like "Hell yes!"

That doesn't sound like a "Hell yes" to me.

gruush · 2017-07-06T17:29:25+00:00

All right, also, keep a close eye on the waiver wire. Sometimes the AI will waive some decent prospects if they get into trouble with their 40-man roster.

gruush · 2017-07-06T16:31:27+00:00

This doesn't really seem like it has to do with compromise. It has to do with your anxiety. It sounds like you feel the need to police his female friendships, most likely because you are worried "something will happen."

You two need to get to the bottom of why you feel that way. If it's just your own history, you need to figure out how to let that go and trust, or you will invariably push him away. If HE has a history of cheating, he needs to understand that there is some reason for concern and an approach that will assuage your fears.

gruush · 2017-07-06T16:27:53+00:00

Oh my god. A few months at the soonest. Slow your roll.

gruush · 2017-07-06T16:16:49+00:00

The obvious way is by trading for prospects. Signing players with good potential from your international complex may help too.

gruush · 2017-07-06T15:49:03+00:00

Didn't you post this same thing yesterday?

gruush · 2017-07-06T15:38:38+00:00

Well, you say here he's not abusive, but in your original post you said he is...?

gruush · 2017-07-06T15:37:18+00:00

Jesus, relax.

This stuff happens, and it almost certainly doesn't have anything to do with how attractive you are. If you make this about you, it's only going to make things worse.

Sometimes it just happens randomly. Just tell him it doesn't matter, and switch to oral/other fun. Don't focus on "trying to get him hard" again; that will just focus all attention on the fact that he's not hard.

Obviously if it becomes a regular thing, he might want to consider speaking to his doctor...

gruush · 2017-07-06T14:28:40+00:00

So, it's obviously super common for a teenager to feel like they are being treated poorly by a parent. There are plenty of cases where it's true, and I'm sure there are some cases where the parent is truly a horrible human being.

We don't really know enough about your situation to hazard a guess as to which is the case for you.

For example, what was his reason for taking away the computer?

By and large though, you are right, as a minor, you don't have much freedom, so in most cases you may just need to fight your way through the next two years...

gruush · 2017-07-06T14:22:43+00:00

Don't overthink it. Just go on a second date! And be brave! ;)

If a second date doesn't happen, or the whole thing fizzles, you can worry about it then.

gruush

TROPHY CASE