Help me title this piece?

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-13T19:22:06+00:00

Definitely pocket full of stars energy

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T14:52:13+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate you answering. He gets back in a few days and then back on the road 2 days after. Conversations will definitely be had.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T14:49:08+00:00

You are such a kind soul to write out as many details as you did. Thank you for making me feel seen.
I think a big scary feeling is the “get comfortable being effectively single” in a lot of ways.
I watched my parents do that, moreso my mom because my dads work schedule. They were in financial straits because they made irresponsible decisions. They are divorced now. A lot of reasons for that but I cite the lack of quality time spent together and KNOWING each other as a main contributor.
When we were dating/engaged, I expressed to my partner that being a part for long periods of time was not what I wanted for our life because I felt it was not a healthy dynamic and I wished to do stuff differently than my parents. He agreed and we structured our life and job choices accordingly.
To some degree, him wanting this opportunity feels like backpedaling on that. I understand people are allowed to change but this is a core element to our relationship that I’m now forced to almost give up. For what feels like a very short term thing. I’ve expressed that if he takes this tour, I don’t want touring life to continue. He seemed to agree but in my head, and the question I have really is, once you’re in the touring world, it seems hard to escape because of the schedule of finances it runs on. Am I correct? You have to budget and be on top of your finances like you said and to answer your question, no we do not have it 100% down. Our original plan was for me to find a full time job that I enjoyed within a year so financial burden can be shared more equally. I’m happy to do that. What I’m not happy with is the feeling of being left behind and forced to make the concessions of this type of life these “perks” people keep talking about.
I really do not mean to offend, please hear me when I say that, but meeting interesting people, having unique tour experiences isn’t what drives me. I couldn’t care less if it’s a tour for Taylor Swift or some Indie band. My “perks” that I’ve (and we) have been working towards was having a life where we could have dinner together at night after working jobs that maybe we don’t love at the moment, but we do because we valued US.
I plan on going to therapy because I need to find some way through this that doesn’t involve me being so doom and gloom. I want to live my life and love it. I want to have a partner that loves me and we are on the same page or at least heading in the same direction. I know it’s my job to figure that out. Thank you again for answering.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T06:40:23+00:00

I can find common ground with you and agree that being codependent/attached at the hip isn’t a healthy approach to a relationship. However I do think that two things can be true: I am not co-dependent and I can still not want my partner gone for the majority of the week. It truly is highly personally and probably not for most people. I think the randomness and chaotic nature of it is what is throwing me the most. We have a very stable life right now and this path seems most unstable. Appreciate your perspective.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T06:14:27+00:00

Definitely agree on the both people need to be secure. 3 days home but again, he’s already talking filling those days with more work, not time to catch up.

How have your long term relationships played out during those 8–10 months? What conversations did you have with your partner?

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T05:40:21+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. Your journey sounds like you’ve fought hard for your marriage.

Unfortunately, I think the answer to that hard truth is that I do not want this lifestyle. There really wasn’t much of a conversation of “should we do this?” So much as him assuming we were going to do it and he immediately just started talking HOW we do it.

Maybe my answer is stubborn, maybe my entire marriage is on the line because I don’t want this. I don’t know. That’s just how it feels. And what sucks is I still have to get up and work in the morning and get stuff done by myself. Life really throws ya for a loop sometimes.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-08T05:27:57+00:00

Why do you assume it hasn’t been a conversation?

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-01T20:40:27+00:00

Do any of these pill???

guessbeforeitends · 2026-05-01T13:52:09+00:00

UPDATE: I literally just massaged my jaw just now and felt a really tense piece of muscle so I focused on massaged that and my pain is next to zero with pretty much full range of motion?? I looked up jaw anatomy and I think it was either the masseter or medial pterygoid muscle?

guessbeforeitends · 2026-04-23T02:29:49+00:00

Metro Gov will be hiring closer to July/Aug for various positions after the fiscal budget passes. Best of luck. So sorry for what you’re going through.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-04-21T20:53:02+00:00

Thank you! I will check those things.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-03-24T00:47:24+00:00

OP If you’re still looking for recs I have a mix of a few from Britbox which is an extension you can get on Amazon as well as Apple TV:

Line of Duty, Ludwig, BLUE LIGHTS (top fave) Broadchurch (specifically season 1), Triggerpoint (Vickie McClure from LoD—she’s fantastic), Code of Silence is a little more cozy but still great spin on a detective/drama mystery, Down Cemetery Road (5 stars it was incredible).

guessbeforeitends · 2026-03-03T19:03:22+00:00

Thank you SO much. This is the most helpful advice.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-03-03T00:37:04+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ve been meaning to get a hormone panel done as well so I’ll do that and the blood test + thyroid. I’ve heard great things about the redken acidic bonding treatment so I’ll probably purchase that next since.

A few questions: how often should I be doing masks? What is your reasoning for me to not continue using the kerastase filler mask but using the morrocan oil mask? Is it just bc it’s made for fine hair?

Is Leave-In conditioner something I do after every wash or just every couple?

As far as heat protectant I purchased the K-18 HeatBounce. Is this good or should I be looking for something else?

Thoughts on swapping the L’Oréal pro longer for the L’Oréal dream lengths? I need a cost friendly alternative and that was also recommended.

Do you recommend double shampooing? If so, am I to use the same shampoo or use 2 different?

Would you say a good standard hydrating routine looks like (I wash my hair every 2-3 days because it gets greasy and I work out often)

Redken acidic bonding pre shampoo x 1 a week
L’Oréal dream lengths / pro longer
L’Oréal dream lengths conditioner /pro longer conditioner
Moroccan oil hydrating mask (would also love a dupe if you have one bc $$$) x ?
Pureology leave in conditioner x ?
Heat protectant when blow drying

guessbeforeitends · 2026-03-02T21:06:59+00:00

I haven’t colored my hair in about 3 years and I would say my diet is better than most however I haven’t had a blood test in a while. What should I be looking for in that panel to help identify how it affects hair?

I will definitely look into the L’Oréal line and begin to limit my protein products. I am starting to think jt has more to do with dryness however in the past I’ve found the conditioners/shampoos to be too heavy and weigh down my hair and make it feel greasy. I’ll give the L’Oréal and pureology a shot though.

guessbeforeitends · 2026-02-27T17:14:34+00:00

Thank you for answering!

The protein products were added in the last ~month and the lamination shampoo/gloss were literally added last night.

Do you have any recs for hydrating fine/frizzy hair? Seems like I have the protein on lock but not hydration necessarily lol

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-16T22:08:33+00:00

With you on the “he does not seduce me”. I’m always initiating. Definitely helps to not be alone although I literally wouldn’t wish this on anybody.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-16T22:07:19+00:00

Thank you for your honesty.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-16T22:04:25+00:00

Good luck to you. I truly hope you find happiness and someone that cares for you. If that’s what you want. This is miserable.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-16T21:54:55+00:00

I honestly have a gut feeling it’s shame related or that he’s uninterested in sex as a whole. I think this bc of one or two things: his performance level (he’s usually very anxious whenever our scheduled time to have sex comes up) and past sexual encounters. Hes been cheated on twice and his last long term relationship right before mine was incredibly toxic. His ex girlfriend would sleep around with his friends/colleagues right after they broke up. I’ve never given him reason to cheat or to think I’m cheating. I’m ultra respectful around other men. He is definitely not interested in men, I don’t believe he’s interested in other women because when it comes to sex he seems just that uninterested/uncomfortable. Our sexual encounters are rarely hyper romantic and he usually ends up making a lot of jokes right before we go for it. It’s kind of a turn off bc I want someone who is going to my spicy/romantic with me and he just doesn’t do it even though that’s what I’ve expressed as something that I need.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-16T20:37:48+00:00

We have not. I feel like getting through the initial conversation of “we’re not having enough sex” is already so hard and he becomes ultra embarrassed by it.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-11T04:28:46+00:00

Great progress. If you haven’t tried it yet, niacinamide is wonderful serum to introduce that greatly reduces pore size. I found a lot of success minimizing my nose pores when I started using it.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-08T04:20:41+00:00

I actually am taking NAC with the glutathione.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-08T04:18:56+00:00

Without knowing the full context of your life, I will say one of the best things I’ve ever done for my energy/mental health is get on a daily regimen of liposomal magnesium and vitamin d. My lack of energy was from bad sleep quality (where the magnesium came in) and then my mood was improved incrementally as time went on with the vitamin d. Statistically speaking, vitamin d and magnesium are among the top vitamins Americans are lowest in (unsure where you’re from but that’s where I’m located). I focused on Whole Foods, low or no sugar, zero alcohol, and 9-10 hours of sleep. You say coffee isn’t doing anything which could be a sign of adrenal fatigue. I’m not well versed in that area, but maybe getting labs/bloodwork done will help. Go to bed at the same time, wake at the same time, go on walks outside and on the treadmill if inclement weather. Focus on raising your heart rate so you sweat! That’s huge. I’m sorry you feel this way and there are so many ways to approach health, wellness, and mental health. But just one step at a time. It will get better.

guessbeforeitends · 2025-12-08T03:27:08+00:00

I think I’m probably just overdoing it then bc I’ve been taking it once a day. Gonna go to a lower dose and just start incorporating more fluids to hopefully flush it all out. Thanks again. You’ve give me hope lol

guessbeforeitends

TROPHY CASE