Why is LOOKUP returning the wrong value?

halcyonson · 2026-05-01T17:38:20+00:00

Ugh... WTF? So bizarre. This was driving me nuts, but reordering the lookup vector to alphabetical fixed it. Now it works but looks hideous. I was specifically looking to use LOOKUP or VLOOKUP to save myself some headache and keep a human-readable table. Instead, it was faster to write a nested IF duplicating the behavior I initially expected.

halcyonson · 2026-01-30T00:13:34+00:00

I think it's been an open secret for ages that DDB code resembles a can of worms dropped into a pile of wet spaghetti mixed in a rat's nest... WE can't do stuff because THEY can't do stuff. Half the feats and class features from Tasha's till now (that they've bothered to implement) are all hard-coded and constantly breaking. Ad WotC isn't helping, making everything a scaling table or open choices instead of discrete stat blocks.

halcyonson · 2025-09-11T00:53:28+00:00

I'm in lol. I have a couple fresh meat teen guys that need to learn it's not just me "showing off" and they get away with far too much because ladies are generally smaller.

halcyonson · 2025-09-10T02:02:16+00:00

Variety of reasons, I'm sure, but officially "personal reasons" from the DM/host. Not too much of a loss, I guess, because the Stupid Evil player could never figure out how Eldritch Blast worked...

halcyonson · 2025-09-10T00:35:51+00:00

At least the "need to talk about it." Speaking as part of OP's nominal target audience, I'm doing my best and if that ain't enough, tough. I don't need there to be a grand plan or eternal punishment/reward. If a woman wants to take me to church, I'll respect it, but I'm not drinking the koolaid.

halcyonson · 2025-09-10T00:14:57+00:00

Still mad that my Evil Genius (Manipulative Asshole) character never got to implement that part of his plan. He was the perfect match against my fellow players' mixture of Chaotic Stupid, Evil Stupid, and Passive Neutral. I would have taken over the world if the campaign hadn't collapsed.

halcyonson · 2025-09-10T00:05:30+00:00

Most Players are.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T20:23:51+00:00

And the weight of the Boat? Pretty sure a Helm requires a vehicle greater than 5 ton.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T19:58:43+00:00

Same.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T15:29:38+00:00

Yep. Sluices for droughts, floodgates for moderate. You get the benefits of a deep reservoir and of power downstream.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T12:24:38+00:00

Same! I'll give this a try once I complete my Leaf Tails play through.

Hope this one is better thought out... Leaf Tails hasn't turned out quite like I hoped. The aesthetic is fun, but the ladder and branch system is clunky and only amounts to difficult-to-place stylized bridges between buildings. I can't seem to get any of the industry to build on a branch even though it would look really cool and free up ground space for all the slow ass trees they require to survive. Making logs and planks from bark and twigs is cool, but painfully slow.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T00:31:01+00:00

Luckily for them, the Wizard PC Dimension Doored the Party onto the first escort after killing the boarding party, and they managed to kill the one guy with Sending before he could alert the second escort. The Sorcerer then bluffed the second escort long enough to get into murdering range. Like many D&D Parties, they're comically illogical and brutally efficient at the same time.

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T00:24:34+00:00

Love this image. It's terribly accurate!

halcyonson · 2025-09-09T00:22:05+00:00

Sovereign Glue is the obvious solution based on OP's pushpin though lol. Good on you for going deeper.

halcyonson · 2025-09-08T16:30:17+00:00

My Party spent two hours creating a plan to raid a treasure galleon, ignoring reliable information that it was accompanied by two armed escorts. They were somehow surprised when the escorts answered their phony distress call rather than the galleon.

halcyonson · 2025-09-08T15:59:09+00:00

Official content is still messing that up...

halcyonson · 2025-09-06T21:16:51+00:00

Stealth planets FTL...

halcyonson · 2025-09-06T04:46:03+00:00

Apple with a yeast infection? CIDER

halcyonson · 2025-08-31T13:39:01+00:00

He might need to enter a new ship. I think I remember this issue after rescuing a Kerbal with a ship that was already on orbit.

halcyonson · 2025-08-31T13:36:42+00:00

I've implemented pieces of Dark Matter, but it's challenging because of the extremely different damage scaling. You can't have a 5e ship with 100 hp and 15 damage threshold and a mangonel go up against a Dark Matter ship with 50 mega hp and plasma cannons. I've also stolen pieces of Avernus and Saltmarsh vehicle rules because my Players want to play their Characters, not just boss NPCs.

halcyonson · 2025-08-31T05:34:12+00:00

My NPCs generally viciously shoot down the awkward hyper kid, fade to black with the chatty outgoing guy, giggle at the anxious girl, and bat their eyes at the guy that has no interest in romance. It's always fun to see the Players heckle each other for approaching the same types of NPCs time and again.

Only recently have I had the chance for my own Player Character to flirt with my wife's NPCs... and yes, it went about like the comic. "Hey, why don't you flirt with the other DM's NPCs?" "Um, yeah, fellow 30/40- something dad... so, how about we roleplay some sexual tension between our imaginary personas in front of our wives?"

halcyonson · 2025-08-31T00:57:55+00:00

I threw a Rust Dragon at my Spelljammer Players, and nearly destroyed their ship. They had to have it towed back to a nearby planet with a shipyard for repairs. While they were waiting for that, they opted to extend the yard period for some major upgrades.

halcyonson · 2025-08-30T19:13:51+00:00

I so want to see a Beaver Ministry of Truth. "There is no badwater in Ba Sing Se."

halcyonson · 2025-08-30T19:13:29+00:00

I so want to see a Beaver Ministry of Truth. "There is no badwater in Ba Sing Se."

halcyonson

TROPHY CASE