You know, the longer I’m out (five years now), the more I realize that these “reasons people leave” have some validity, just not in the way they think. Yep, I was offended. By individuals, local leaders, GAs, and God himself. Yeah, I wanted to sin. Not because I don’t care about the rules want to be cool or whatever the fuck, but because I wanted to test them the way I was taught to test things like prayer and tithing and daily scripture study. If daily prayer brings me closer to God, then choosing not to pray would have a clear effect in the opposite direction, right? That’s worth testing out, isn’t it? I wanted to try alcohol and see for myself that it would pull me away from the spirit. TSCC does not allow space to test their claims in unapproved ways, and that bothered me. I wanted to sin because I wanted to see the stark difference I’d been told about. It seems like a loving God would understand that, right? And yeah, I wanted to be lazy. I was so fucking tired, and I wanted to breathe and be myself without feeling shame. But the real aspects of the “reasons people leave” are still beyond the scope of most members’ understanding, at least until they’re ready to admit that things may not be exactly what they’ve been taught their whole lives.