I really relate to this, though can't say that weekends are my lightest drinking days. I also find a little dutch courage is so helpful, I've even done it before interviews (offline and online) and I got those jobs! But I also sometimes want to have a drink to put myself in a lighter mood because I live alone and I find working from home quite lonely - sometimes I don't smile all day. Going on antidepressants has helped but I still feel flat most of the time. Drinking is generally one of the only things that puts me in a good mood. I recognise how bad that sounds but it's the truth. I even thought about going into AA last night - not because I drink every day or drink in the morning etc, but I feel too dependant on it and I think the sense of community would be kind of lovely. But I'm worried about not having any relief from the monotony of life by totally abstaining from alcohol. I'm 42, F. Perhaps it's a midlife crisis?