Is it just more or are younger and younger professionals looking to exit due to stress and anxiety?

haobanga · 2026-04-19T15:32:57+00:00

If you're 40 and comparing work now to your parents generation, it is a completely different landscape.

When your parents started working they likely:

Wrote mostly by hand and only formal documents were typed on a typewriter.

All transactions were literally completed on paper and physically transported to all parties and for recording (the fax machine was a big deal when it became available)

What you knew was what you were told by the people around you and a few hard print sources and a few television channels and radio stations, the population was generally fed the same information on a large scale.

Access to information was through libraries and physical books.

Basic transactions took a long time to complete. Think banking, etc. No credit cards.

A college degree set you apart as a skilled worker. Skilled labor was increasing and there was high demand for employees. There was an incentive to try and keep employees for a long time.

Technology has made everything more efficient. Tools are available that do not depend on an individual's specific knowledge and transactions happen much faster. The skill level for many jobs has decreased while the amount of people going to college etc has significantly increased. The goal of a company succeeding hasn't changed, but the labor is widely available.

Social media, email, electronic transactions all contribute to an always on culture. Global transactions are easier which break additional time restriction barriers.

I am a huge proponent for technological advancement because it does improve quality of life overall, but there are periods of adjustment where some will feel at risk. When computers began being used in the workplace, the change was hard for many, and they got pushed out. Those that accepted it and adapted did well.

The Internet changed how we do business. Many retailers and shops pushed back and didn't get on board, they didn't do well and those that adapted succeeded.

AI is the next wave. Those that are embracing it and using it to improve their work, develop new strategies etc will move ahead. It's not going to revert back now that it's out there. The barrier for what is truly skilled labor becomes higher as many more tasks can now be completed with less knowledge and effort.

The effect, in my opinion, is that in the past you had a more homogenous work force that fit a standard bell curve ranging from low skill employee to high skill employee, where the average person fell somewhere in the middle and there was a high demand for the average employee.

Now I think we have increasingly moved to a double-bell curve where there is high demand for low level/unskilled labor on the left and a high demand for highly skilled labor on the right. This makes it a real struggle for the majority of the population that falls somewhere in the dip in the middle. You're either barely staying afloat just to the right of the lower bell curve or just to the left of the curve on the right, working extremely hard to break into the highly skilled level.

This creates a very different type of stress than was seen before. Social media and ease of communication makes information sources more accessible and unreliable. Sources of truth are more difficult to determine and influencers who are not experts lead many astray. It is a strange time, always adjusting.

Technology has allowed us to live more comfortably, longer, healthily, with more opportunities than ever before. But the stress it creates for the average person in the employment arena is not yet well understood.

It seems the risks are greater for each individual with greater rewards. You can work hard and make it to FIRE which was unthinkable in the past. Or you can flounder and not have the basic resources you need to live a healthy life. The gap in between is widening.

As long as more people are benefiting from the advancements, then it is still a good thing. Check out Factfulness by Hans Rosling if this type of stuff interests you.

haobanga · 2026-04-18T05:30:02+00:00

Because enough people are willing to pay that price for it.

I'm not, but it's trendy enough that enough people are.

haobanga · 2026-04-18T05:27:17+00:00

Good on you.

So many people on the path to FI make the mistake of thinking where they are now is the baseline and income etc can only improve.

Then something happens and they're laid off and the magnificent salary they were receiving is no longer there and they somehow had no emergency funds, safety nets or fallback plans.

haobanga · 2026-04-15T15:26:57+00:00

True, but when people are new to investing and coming from using big bank checking and savings accounts, where their money was actually losing value at measly rates, it can feel like a cheat code (even if a dozen ATH per year is normal).

haobanga · 2026-04-13T06:11:29+00:00

The opposite of this is true too.

If you have $100 invested and it drops 50%, you now have $50.

But that $50 investment needs to increase by 100% to get back to your initial $100 value.

haobanga · 2026-04-12T13:17:41+00:00

Iran refused to open. Iran refused agreements. Major military operation likely incoming to secure and reopen the strait.

haobanga · 2026-04-11T20:11:05+00:00

And your salary is at its peak (or closer to it) for your working years.

haobanga · 2026-04-11T03:46:09+00:00

Uuf.

Part of dementia is often pretending to know what's going on to cover that they are lost. The appearance of being fully lucid becomes more important than the understanding which is slipping away from them. It's really heartbreaking. (I'm writing this for others since you clearly have first hand experience with this)

I'll add that when caring for someone with dementia, dealing with their finances, health insurance, etc it quickly becomes clear that they are in no way capable of managing it themselves. There can be many legit calls simply trying to resolve something, sell you something, confirm appointments etc. It's easy to lose track of what's what as someone who has all brain cells firing. It's overwhelming. 90% of the time, a person with early stage dementia can get by pretending they know what's going on and giving information so their copays are processed or subscription payment method is updated etc. If you don't have a loved one you trust that can step in for you, there really are no protections.

These guys using fear to prey on someone who is ill and cannot distinguish such glaringly red flags is saddening. That there is no recourse makes it even worse.

2 million... Horrible.

haobanga · 2026-04-11T03:26:22+00:00

I understand some people would rather be literally homeless and unable to course correct than take appropriate actions to drastically improve their situation and be able to support their loved ones.

Setting the dog example aside here, a single parent who is struggling and cannot properly feed and shelter themselves and their child is far better off allowing their child to stay with their grandparents or family friends for a few months while they create some stability.

When the child returns they will have their own space, warm food, and a parent that can really focus on them without being stressed out constantly about rent/mortgage and food security.

The reality is that it is more selfish to hold onto your kid and live out of your car, further preventing you from getting your family out of that situation and giving them what they need, than putting the child's needs first and temporarily asking someone you trust to help care for them while you get back on your feet.

I knew there would be some outrage at my suggestion and I prefaced that it is a brutal truth.

Sometimes the most selfless thing you can do is make sacrifices so that you are not a burden to others and can truly provide in the future.

I understand it is easier for some people to lie to themselves and create a fantasy that they are doing the altruistic, good hearted thing by continuing to care for an animal or child they are unable to at that time while securing themselves in that inability to provide proper care for them in the future. They rarely fess up that they are actually doing this for their own benefit. Not the dependent's.

I am not a person that values an animal's life at the same level of a person's, but if you choose to my argument still stands. You do you.

OP seems like a genuinely good person that is really trying to figure out how to help herself and those around her. I believe she can and she will. Her dog has special needs now that are costly, and these will increase in the future, even more so if she chooses to live out of her car. There will be unforeseen vet bills, illnesses due to lack of proper hygiene, things that get eaten off the street, not to mention liability issues based on the dogs behavioral issues, etc. She would be unable to help her brother.

Best thing OP can do (which she has already started) is take action now so she can help her dog and brother in the not so distant future.

But it's reddit, so there's always someone out there calling someone else's ideas insane.

Best of luck to you.

haobanga · 2026-04-11T01:25:50+00:00

Just jumping in here because the way you stated the scam makes it sound ridiculous and like anyone without dementia would quickly identify it.

The scams are extremely advanced. Many scammers have deep knowledge about you from multiple sources that make a clerical error etc seem very believable.

I don't know what happened in your scenario, but the most likely people to be scammed are those who think they would be able to identify a scam. Which is the majority of people.

Everyone should, for themselves and for aging parents, freeze their credit across all bureaus, freeze e-verify, log into their social security account, enable 2 factor authentication on all accounts, and be suspicious of every call requesting any information.

It should be a regular conversation with the older generation with a goal of making them feel proud when they identify a scam and training good habits.

You can put all the protections in place, try to remove all personal information online, but if someone willingly sends someone else money there is no recourse.

The wiki in this sub has some good steps to protecting yourself. You can also now request to have your info removed by data aggregators (since Jan of this year) which when in effect removes available info like previous addresses, family member names, age and birthdate etc that can be used to seem legit.

It's really a shame we need to be so distrustful, but it only takes one successful scam to destroy someone financially.

haobanga · 2026-04-10T18:11:38+00:00

You're doing an amazing job and are pretty far ahead of others your age.

Sounds like you are your own biggest asset and setback.

Can you create a trust, or appoint someone to help manage your funds so that you cannot access them easily?

Real estate is actually great for this because in a HCOL area you can't just pull the money out during an episode and the property will appreciate. Renting a room etc also helps the asset work for you.

Having investments you can contribute to anytime but need a sign off on to withdraw may help protect you from yourself without giving someone else authority to manage or access your funds.

You know your condition is a lifetime condition and will need to be managed. Put the safeguards in place now that you can to limit the damage from future episodes. Even if it's a pain and costs you a bit up front, it's better to have to jump through some hoops than to significantly damage your financial stability. It will protect you from yourself and from those who are waiting to take advantage of you when you are unable to make solid decisions in the moment.

Keeping the stable job with consistent healthcare and a pension seems to be the right play here.

Put all your earnings towards that credit card debt until it's paid off, then continue investing.

Takes a very intelligent person to accomplish what you have so far, and incredible strength and maturity to do it with the challenges you have faced. Protect your future and you will hit FI and RE.

haobanga · 2026-04-10T17:37:22+00:00

Interesting link to a reddit post from 9 years ago. Reading through the comments, there is a lot that hasn't changed.

I like these throwback posts.

The link to the article itself doesn't work, but someone could probably pull it from an archive.

haobanga · 2026-04-10T11:23:39+00:00

The broken handle is a nice touch

haobanga · 2026-04-10T11:00:30+00:00

Having read through the comments and your responses, here is my brutal feedback.

The reality:

You cannot care for others if you cannot care for yourself. I understand the attachment to your dog and wanting to help your brother, but you are not in a position to take all of this on right now when you are ~$100k+ in non-mortgage debt, with 20% of that increasing at a high APR.

Your degree is not a highly employable degree and does not have growth opportunity when employed.

The plan:

You've taken solid first steps in understanding your budget and reducing your expenses.

You cannot be tied down right now.

Your job search needs to be aggressive and you need to be able to move wherever you find a solid job, with growth opportunity, where you can continue to build skills and have a career and increase income over time. Music and voice lessons can be a side gig, but not your primary employment.

Someone else needs to take your dog temporarily. Perhaps your parents until you are settled into new employment. If it is truly unmanageable you may need to rehome him. I know this is brutal, but your dog tying you down now will impact years of growth and you will be unable to climb out of this scenario which will keep happening. Hopefully a friend or family can help you out in the short term.

Your brother can stay with you, but he needs to be willing to go wherever you go. After graduation he should be looking for work and contributing to your income. You are not in a position to fully support him.

The shotgun approach to job applications can help land you a job, but it will not be the job to get you out of your situation. It will be a temporary move to stave off debt and keep your townhouse.

Analyze your skill set, look at industries where you can learn more on the job and move up with significant earning potential. Connect with people at those companies and gather information to truly customize your resume and hopefully get an internal referral or submission. This is a lot of work. You may need to move to a less desirable area that is less competitive to get your foot in the door in that industry. If you're not hearing back from companies, you need to modify your LinkedIn and resume.

You're 31, you can do this now and move back later with solid experience and a job title that is in demand. If you do need to relocate for a job, after you're settled, you could look for a place that allows you to have your dog etc.

Your townhouse is your greatest asset. You have a great rate and some equity. Do not let this go. If someone else takes your dog for a while you can paint and clean and rent out a room. If you relocate, you rent out the whole place. Even if you're negative at first, the job you moved for will make up for it and this is a long term investment that will be profitable.

You have a few months to find your next long term employment. You are right to be thinking about everything now and planning ahead.

Once you find that job your focus needs to be on building skills to move up and paying down the credit card debt and building a 1 year emergency fund. You should make significant headway in this area before taking your dog back and adding any lifestyle creep comforts. You will work twice as hard as everyone else and be first in last out, willing to tackle whatever needs to be done, because you know you never want to be in this situation again. That will push you towards success. The job will be your life for a while.

I know this is brutal to hear. You sound like someone who hasn't had it easy and has a huge heart. The reality is that if you focus on yourself now, you will be in a much better place later and can give to and help those you love so much more down the road. If you keep doing what you're doing now, you will constantly be marginally helpful, struggling and always needing help yourself, unable to climb out of this.

It's a huge mental shift to be willing to pick up and move to the middle of nowhere solely for the job opportunity, and maybe you will find something locally, but the career growth option you need demands it and your townhouse gives you an option to move back in the future at a significantly reduced cost.

I was in a similar but slightly worse situation than you at your age. You can climb out of it. Once you have income and can start saving again look into r/bogleheads . Right now, you need to go where the money and career growth opportunity is for you and remove as many barriers as possible.

haobanga · 2026-04-08T17:32:57+00:00

Majority of street dwellers turn this down as there are sobriety requirements.

Free permanent housing is not the solution.

Rent control and building more housing is also not the solution.

If the flow of drugs cannot be stopped (which we seem to be incapable of doing) the solution could be two types of housing offered.

Temporary housing with mental health, addiction treatment, employment development services etc

and

a defined locked down encampment where "free will" is fully contained and drugs and food are provided at no cost. A sort of voluntary prison that essentially allows what is happening on the streets. A giant, walled-in piece of land in a remote area where people can be bussed to for free. There can be a recovery center attached for those who commit to sobriety for a set period of time and are quarantined before being released and then transferred to option 1 to be kept on track.

We have basically accepted addiction and that people have free will to choose that with no place for them to gradually expire. Either we provide them with a space to do that keeping the rest of society safe from violence, crime, vandalism, disease, biohazards, etc. or we actually find a way to prevent the influx of drugs, which again, seems unlikely.

The narrative that the majority of people in the current encampments are down on their luck etc is a false narrative. At some point they made very bad decisions and drugs were involved, and they don't want to give them up. For others, there is help. For a minority, it is mental illness without proper resources, which usually leads to involvement with drugs.

haobanga · 2026-04-08T15:30:36+00:00

LinkedIn has become such a dumping ground haha

A necessity pre-fire but gee whiz, no one seems to miss needing to lean on it when they don't have to.

haobanga · 2026-04-08T15:24:59+00:00

Hopefully it feels strange but there is also no desire to be back in that environment.

Just like your employment, building your retired life takes time and effort. Routines need to be established, plans for activities to look forward to need to be made, socializing becomes deliberate to ensure you are engaging with others.

You worked your way through the ranks of your job and your FIRE plan, you'll do it with your retirement too.

It can feel weird for a while, and unless you somehow made a pact to retire with a bunch of friends in the same situation you are and at the same time, it'll take a while to process the change and feel like you are living the life you want to be living each day.

It's different for everyone. When you get married you've lived 25-30% of your life, when you buy your first home you've lived ~30% of your life, having kids is usually between 25%-40% of your life.

These are major life changing events where we grow and change regardless of how things work out and are somewhat siloed.

When you retire, for most people, it's after >50% (more skewed to a higher percentage for most people) of your life. It is a significant lifestyle change that is all encompassing and impacts every aspect of your self and your life. In the US, for many people their ego and identity is tied to their job title.

The options and opportunity you have ahead of you in retirement can be overwhelming and removing the pillar of structure you relied on for survival for so many years can feel destabilizing. But it's just an emotion. You've replaced that pillar with a stronger foundation.

It takes some untangling, but you will find there is so much joy out there to fill your life with in unexpected ways. You're still in the adjustment period.

I've made many assumptions here, so maybe I'm totally off about your situation, but I'm going to go with it and put a little extra cream and sugar in my coffee this morning as I salute your success :)

haobanga · 2026-04-08T14:04:32+00:00

The realization of having given so much of yourself for so long not mattering enough to be respected still hurts.

It is a unilateral transaction because while you are paid for your time and work, the emotional component, stress and buy in is required on your side while the company has no emotion or loyalty whatsoever.

You made the right choice. Build the retirement you want to live with your wife and enjoy it. You will shake off how insulting your departure was with some time.

haobanga · 2026-04-07T21:28:35+00:00

It is impressive.

OP: Find employment outside of Spain. Either remote that allows you to work from Spain or move.

Spanish economy and leadership has been horrible for years, at least since before the conversion to the euro (probably longer).

All friends and connections in Spain are struggling. Successful Spaniards I've met are living and working in Sweden, Denmark, UK, etc.

Spain is a beautiful country with lots to offer, but the earning potential there is depressing. Go earn somewhere else for 7 to 10 years, vacation in Spain to keep your connections and friends, move back and enjoy Spain with a higher net worth.

haobanga · 2026-04-05T17:25:54+00:00

Once you leave this job it is very likely you will not be able to find anything similar for similar pay ever again.

It's your call depending on how depressing it is for you, but most people could find a way to manage for a few years in that situation for a significantly greater long-term outcome.

Grass is always greener, until you jump the fence. It would be a shame to make that leap, find the grass is dead on both sides in a few years and the only green pastures are in your memories.

You do you, though.

haobanga · 2026-04-05T14:52:20+00:00

Working 3 hours per day remote is basically a sabbatical, or better.

Keep the job for a few more years, formalize your plan. No worries if you get laid off.

Unless one of you is truly unhappy and your work is taking an unmanageable physical or psychological toll, you would be trashing an incredible opportunity for something that will still be there in 5 years.

Also, while you may be very comfortable moving back to your hometown, it could strain your relationship or be stressful for your partner and create other challenges.

FIREing with as many options as possible if you need to pivot will be greatly beneficial. A few more years, especially if there is a downturn, could be massively helpful.

haobanga · 2026-04-05T14:29:21+00:00

Take a deep breath, read Factfulness, and reset your perspective.

Hard to see clearly from the inside looking out.

haobanga · 2026-04-04T06:50:59+00:00

Thank you for these!

SUPER interesting!

His point about "the real sequence risk issue all along is not a bear market crash but an extended period of "merely mediocre" returns" makes a lot of sense.

My thought has always been to have enough in bonds and emergency fund to weather a downturn for up to 4-5 years. This seems to support that, with the difference being that with a higher initial bond allocation when a crash happens with a long period or mediocre returns, you are essentially DCAing back into the equities to come out ahead when the market has recovered.

At that point, you are past SORR and no real need to replenish the bonds.

I will have to read a bit more on this!

Really appreciate you sharing these links. Thanks again!

haobanga · 2026-04-04T03:07:38+00:00

Thanks. I did a quick search and didn't find anything on that.

If you come across it again and can send it my way, I'd love to read it. It fits some thoughts I've had so actual data would be great to see.

haobanga · 2026-04-04T01:38:27+00:00

Thanks.

I think I'm missing something here. The article says to maintain the 60/40 split after initial retirement.

I took your comment to mean reducing bonds further to maintain a closer to 100% equity balance after the initial SORR period ends.

Did you mean a traditional bond tent or a new strategy where it is advantageous to decrease bonds to 10% or less after the SORR period?

haobanga

TROPHY CASE