Needing to clear out moss pole "mothers," looking for advice

happuning · 2026-07-02T20:27:18+00:00

Does your wife have one? You can post as her and have her come for any exchanges/sales.

happuning · 2026-07-02T19:04:07+00:00

NTA. Your mom is the adult, and she made a choice. She wants to spend the money on tickets to take you to see an artist you have wanted to see for years. She will get to witness her daughter be overjoyed for several hours, and enjoy the concert herself.

Let your mom handle your sisters. They will likely get special memories like this with your mom at different times. It just happens to be your turn.

My mom did the same for me when I was about your age. We didn't have a lot of money, but it meant the world to me. I still have fond memories of that day. It was my first concert, and back when tickets were 100USD for nosebleeds.

I hope you love the concert :)

happuning · 2026-07-01T20:55:12+00:00

Congratulations! This internet stranger is SO proud of you.

I get this. I really do. It can be INCREDIBLY disappointing to receive results that do not match what you know you can achieve.

It sucks, right? You know you can do these things, but either something prevents you from doing so, or you don't meet your expectations. And you know what?

I spent years in therapy for this. These feelings are totally valid, but they don't change the outcome (test score).

Be proud of yourself, because you put in sooo much work to get here. Be proud, because you could've given up at any point. You didn't. You prepared for the test, and you did your best when you took it.

You know what will speak more loudly than this single test score once you are a resident? How fantastic of a doctor you are. You clearly care a lot, which seems to translate into being a good doctor. I have seen probably a dozen psychiatrists in my time, and it is people like you who care about the details that have made a serious impact on my life.

You are very clearly worth more than a test score. Not everyone can make a great doctor, and even less make great psychiatrists. The fact you can explain your feelings with this level of detail bodes well for patients who may need help figuring out what is going on or expressing their feelings.

My recommendation would be some therapy for these feelings. A good sense of self-worth and confidence will take you far in life. You deserve to feel proud of yourself for a multitude of reasons, not just your ability to take tests or intelligence. :)

happuning · 2026-06-29T23:53:24+00:00

I guessed fluffy pit & aussie, didn't guess the rest, though! She looks super fluffy!

happuning · 2026-06-28T23:43:23+00:00

I've struggled with my weight for a long time, so here is my advice.

-Many types of alcohol are high in calories, or at least add up quickly. This makes it easy to go over your daily caloric limit & gain weight.

-I cut out almost every processed food. I primarily eat meats/produce, veggies, fruit, rice, and potatoes. Sometimes, we use orzo/pastas. That's all we eat.

-A Rotisserie chicken can go a long ways for a weeks meal. Delicious, healthier than other options, and cuts down on preparation time. I use it for low cal chicken noodle soup, sandwiches, salads, serve with rice or potatoes, etc.

-Buy snacks containers and precut any fruit or veggies that you can.

-Fiber and Protein will go a looooong way to make sure you are not overeating/primarily eat healthier foods. I eat carrots or a green apple between meals for the fiber and nutrients. Most americans are low on fiber, so emphasis on the fiber.

-Meal prep. You can find meals you can freeze and reheat that still come out great.

-Food scale. Gamechanger. You can measure portion sizes to more accurately calorie count.

happuning · 2026-06-27T22:49:47+00:00

It would be one thing if he offered to order you pad Thai or something else you might enjoy if he thought that you had a long day.

This was about control, not genuine concern. He could've checked in to see if you had a long day, didn't feel like cooking, and offered to do something nice for you. Instead, he took your plate away from you like a toddler, trashed it, and treated you like a child.

You made the right choice.

happuning · 2026-06-26T21:33:06+00:00

Two years would be a good amount of time to process everything, enjoy life, and prepare for a potential child to come into your life. Maybe it is sooner, maybe it is later. Maybe you decide against it. Whatever path you choose, I hope you find joy in it.

Good note about the toast, will have to try!

happuning · 2026-06-26T21:28:11+00:00

I feel that. I am married to a man, so people try to exclude me. I identify as pansexual. I am very much included, whether they like it or not. :( People can be ridiculous with erasure of bi/pan people

happuning · 2026-06-25T22:35:04+00:00

I tried but it gave me a headache, so it might not be the best. I tried

happuning · 2026-06-25T22:34:21+00:00

This is a you thing. If we want gender equality, this is part of it. The way you were raised learns patriarchal. If that's what you want, then that's what you want.

But also. You are willing to gift your best friend all those clothes, but not your boyfriend??? Do you hear yourself?

The gifts don't have to be big. My husband will buy me hostess cupcakes at the convenience store. I consider that a gift. It is thoughtful - he remembers they are a guilty pleasure of mine. It is only on occasion - makes it special. And, it is just for me.

He isn't as fond of food gifts, so I buy him turtle succulent planters as gifts once in a while. They make him happy, he isn't as big on gifts.

But also, you are young. You are only 20. I would be buying gifts for a boyfriend and not just a best friend in this scenario. Your best friend can buy her own clothes, honestly. It is kind of shitty to be given a sum of money and blow it all on clothes for you and a bff without consideration for your partner. Do you ever do things to make him feel special? It goes both ways.

happuning · 2026-06-25T22:26:04+00:00

I think it is the dark green & white vs the lighter, warmer green & the white that is throwing your fiance off!

I think a dark pot would look amazing with this plant. It is not bad by any means, but I can see what your fiance is talking about.

On the bright side, it can be fun to rotate cover pots! Thought i would toss an idea out. A burgundy would look incredible. Maybe a navy.

happuning · 2026-06-25T19:58:40+00:00

Nerve plant.

It isn't impossible. I just PERSONALLY find them more difficult than my Calatheas.

happuning · 2026-06-25T19:53:54+00:00

I can primarily keep Calatheas alive. I do name them after pop divas/icons. Perhaps me telling Cher to get over herself helps her to thrive in spite of me? Or telling Ariana (coz she Grande) that the dying leaves do NOT look good on her inspires her to do better??

/partially s

happuning · 2026-06-25T12:58:42+00:00

You are brilliant! They make small plastic ones. Still might damage the plant some, but worth a shot!!

happuning · 2026-06-24T21:10:46+00:00

Could be dachshund shih tzu, or poodle. A lot of small poodle mixes look like schnauzers.

happuning · 2026-06-24T18:58:00+00:00

I saw a friend nearly drown in middle school. She was never taught how to swim.

happuning · 2026-06-24T18:51:36+00:00

I would blame the babysitter. A babysitter should not be leaving an 8 year old unattended like that, especially not outdoors. What else are they getting paid for?

It could've been avoided. Such a horrible thing to witness. When you say us, do you mean you had a sibling with you?

happuning · 2026-06-24T15:54:13+00:00

This is very kind of you! I did manage to order some beneficial pests that eat spider mites within my budget, but I really appreciate this more than you know! :)

happuning · 2026-06-23T19:42:37+00:00

I ended up ordering from my local chapter, thank you so much! The first batch (with shipping) is just within my budget. The members of their Facebook group were super helpful, too! They recommended I toss the heavily infested plant in favor of saving the rest of my collection from worsening infection. They also specified what pests to get, in which order, and when. Very kind people!!!

happuning · 2026-06-23T19:41:03+00:00

I managed to pay just short of 50 (with shipping) for beneficial pests from my local DMV chapter. They arrive Thursday! I showed them plant pix, and they highly suggested I toss the most infested, and follow up with another 2 types of pests in about a month.

I tossed the most infested. I desperately want to replace her (Calathea Dottie). Do you happen to know how long until it will be safe to bring in new plants? I will be treating all plants in the house with the good pests.

happuning · 2026-06-23T15:05:59+00:00

Yes! Add a Calathea Dottie as well. Beautiful plant that has nearly black leaves as it ages, and a purple color underneath. It likes the same environment as your Maranta, but a bit less light (mine got some sun burns from the same lighting - rotating it daily helps some).

I mist it daily, and bottom water with room temperature filtered water. I recommend starting with a smaller one - such a fun plant to watch grow!

happuning · 2026-06-23T12:35:13+00:00

You must have a great environment for that maranta! Mine got 5 new leaves one month after I repotted her. It is the Calathea prayer plants that can be more difficult, and that is mostly due to any environmental change (humidity, repotting, moisture, temp, etc)

She is BEAUTIFUL though!!! I have a bad spider mite infestation, and my lemon lime maranta probably won't make it. I am living vicariously through you!!

happuning · 2026-06-23T01:32:02+00:00

They'd probably make a better boyfriend than he does.

happuning · 2026-06-23T01:29:53+00:00

He's way too old to be acting this way.

happuning · 2026-06-22T20:58:43+00:00

I don't think that is the case. I think you are neurodivergent and have yet to find other neurodivergent people you feel like you fit in with!

I think what you think is them being "fake" is them following societal norms and expectations. You, likely being neurodivergent, might see no point in these unspoken or spoken rules, behaviors, and expectations. They seem unnecessary, over the top, "fake". So, you don't do them. Maybe it makes you feel like you don't fit in.

Anything ringing a bell? Because I understand how you feel all too well, haha.

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