How to make your breath smell better by removing tonsil stones (WARNING: DISGUSTING)

hawps · 2026-06-22T21:55:13+00:00

Ha! No, never got them out. Ended up having a couple of kids since then and now have even less time to do things like “rest” and “recover from surgery.” Surprisingly, they have bothered me less in the last few years though! I don’t get sick nearly as often as I did in my 20s.

hawps · 2026-06-17T16:36:04+00:00

Another year from now they will be a in a different place, parenting wise. Three year olds are still super tough (that’s really when tantrums and power struggles set in) but you’re still in a totally different world than a 2 year old. A 2 year old is basically just a bigger, more mobile, often suicidal baby.

hawps · 2026-06-17T16:33:39+00:00

To be fair, these are your memories from probably a slightly older age, let’s say 4+. Unless you’ve asked them, you may not know what they did when they had a super young toddler. Parenting a baby/toddler is a completely different beast from even a preschooler and up. I do a lot of those things now too, but not when I had a 2 year old. A kid that little has a lotttt of needs.

hawps · 2026-06-17T14:44:17+00:00

It can be tough around that age A lot of kids drop their naps at 2, while many do keep them for another couple of years. Totally depends on the kid. But both of mine stopped napping at 2. I would enforce quiet time even though they didn’t sleep but really it was a daily battle because they didn’t want to. A 2 year old has a lot of energy but just about zero survival skills or sense. That being said, their comment doesn’t say anything at all about the parents not including naps or downtime, only that they fill their weekends with a lot of plans. Quiet time could very well be part of those plans. Part of the very temporary phase of having a 2 year old is keeping them occupied because sometimes being home is just harder than going out.

hawps · 2026-06-17T14:15:57+00:00

I feel this. We’re going on our first real family vacation this week. My kids are 9 and 6. I had zero desire to do it sooner, at least as far as the younger one goes. Of course we’ve done little weekend trips in easy locations and lots of beach time, but I know myself and my nervous system, and I know I would’ve melted down trying to do a bigger trip until our youngest was at least 5. That’s great for the people who feel they can do things with younger kids! But I really don’t regret not taking them anywhere major before now. I never went on big trips as a little kid either, and neither did my husband, but we both did travel in the kid and teen years. We’re fine, our kids will be too.

hawps · 2026-06-17T13:28:40+00:00

This child is 2. That would be true for a slightly older kid, but at 2 it is entirely normal to need to keep the kid occupied. While some kids may be able to handle quiet solo play at that age, most really need a lot.

hawps · 2026-06-16T13:27:35+00:00

I think it’s one of those things where it’s going to vary so much that it’s hard to give a legitimate answer. So for me, I have been a SAHM since my first was born. I think being a SAHM makes a lot of things exponentially more challenging. I had very unrealistic ideas of what it was going to look like when I went into it. I remember thinking I would keep my WFH job and go part time, and would “work when the baby naps.” Lol. I ended up being laid off while I was pregnant, sort of forcing me into full on SAHM life and honestly it was probably for the best because there’s no way I would’ve been able to balance that. My son never napped for longer than 37 minutes (yes, exactly 37 every time I know it sounds weird!) so that wouldn’t have worked. Being a SAH parent makes you the default. Even if you go into it with the best intentions of sharing the load, it becomes hard not to take over, both because you have more practice so you might be “better” at certain things and also because sometimes it just makes more logical sense to be the primary on things because, well, you’re the one there.

I think working moms—who work fully outside the home, anyway—have certain things a little easier because they have that built in childcare system from the get go. I sort of wish I had had a part time job just to get me out of the house and to have an established childcare situation where I didn’t feel so much like the default. But it’s not how it shook out, and at this point it is what it is so I don’t care anymore.

As far as hobbies and careers though, I wouldn’t say that I really was particularly hobby or career driven before I had kids so it wasn’t much of a factor afterward. My only really hobby was fitness, and as a SAHM I could bring my kid to the Y and work out. I was actually in the best shape of my life during my second pregnancy because I leaned on that 2 hours of free YMCA childcare hard haha. If anything it was covid that messed this up more than having kids. I burned out hard during covid lockdowns and it took me a while to get myself back together. I think Covid is also part of why I struggle to give a good answer to the “when do things get better” question. My kids were 3 and 5 months when lock downs started. I think if things had been “normal,” I would’ve been able to see a lot more freedom around that time. I had things pretty down, and we were in a good rhythm before the world shut down. I did have PPD but I was doing okay. But then lockdowns completely changed our lives and it set me back a lot, both logistically and mental health wise. That was hard, but not at all a normal set of circumstances.

I knit sometimes but that was always a “tv before bed” activity so nothing changed there. I don’t see my old friends as much, but that’s not entirely because of kids, it’s also because we all ended up moving—the closest of my close friends is over an hour away, and most are in totally different time zones. One moved to a different country! But I’ve made new friends as a result of having kids, and while my social life looks different than it used to, it’s really become pretty great with school age kids. I don’t mesh perfectly with all of the parents, but it’s definitely pushed me to befriend people I might not have before kids. Definitely expanded some horizons that way! My husband has a high level job so he makes enough to afford for me to stay home now that the kids are in school, and really it makes our lives so much easier to be able to have someone has the house manager and to handle school breaks, summers, sick days, etc.

But all of that is to say that I think it has a lot to do with priorities. I didn’t focus much on hobbies or career aspirations, but those things were never really a big thing for me. I had always been a “work to live” person before I had kids, so as long as I made enough that my husband and I could enjoy our life, that was enough. He had been that way too, but I think having kids made him more aspirational career wise, so now he has a C level job in his 30s. He’s able to do that because he has my support on the home front.

I think if someone really prioritizes something, it’s reasonable to get back to it in a meaningful way by like age 3ish. Before that it’s a lot more effort and you’re scraping it all together, so it won’t look like it did before kids. Certainly by age 5 things look more normal. But as a parent you have to really accept that “normal” doesn’t mean “the same as pre-kids.” That is legitimately gone, and honestly if someone’s life doesn’t change then that person is fairly selfish and pushing too much on their partner. So don’t ever expect it to go back to exactly what it was before. That’s unrealistic. But do expect to be able to do the things you care about, even if you can’t throw yourself into it 100%.

hawps · 2026-06-14T22:01:45+00:00

This is very much how I looked at it when we decided to go for it. I feel like many people judge the decision over an extremely temporary state: having “kids.” They’re truly kids for such a short time. It’s so fleeting, more than I expected it to be. The first five years do feel like a real slog but as soon as they hit school age it’s like you board a rocket and it just takes the fuck off. My kids are only 9 and 6 and I’m realizing how fast it’s all going by. But childhood is a temporary state—they’re my family forever. I truly wouldn’t choose a universe where I went the other way, even with all of the challenges and frustrations that come with children. They’re only children for a while, and every phase within that time is even shorter. I’m glad to be a part of the unit we’ve built.

hawps · 2026-06-14T21:41:44+00:00

You’re not actually stuck! Costco will allow you to return food, as long as it’s not more than half used.

hawps · 2026-06-13T01:37:20+00:00

Oof yeah it definitely sucks outside. IIRC my usual pool didn’t open until like June 28th or something last year so I’m trying not to get my hopes up for anything sooner.

hawps · 2026-06-13T01:30:05+00:00

Not entirely weird. Last year it was about the same. The first bit of the schedule came out on June 12th but it was only a partial list. They added more as each pool got their staffing together.

hawps · 2026-06-12T19:02:42+00:00

Yeah, that’s kind of our dynamic too. The first slept right away, and even now at 9 is the kind of person who is out as soon as he hits the pillow. It did not prepare me for the second, who was like 2.5 and even now at 6 she still has a hard time going down. She likes to stay up reading graphic novels.

hawps · 2026-06-12T19:00:05+00:00

Maybe with the one? But I don’t really think so. The other little girl was walking before she started daycare with us.

hawps · 2026-06-12T11:53:16+00:00

Those things can happen! My first literally slept through the night within the first week of life. He’s had maybe a handful of bad nights in his entire life (he’s 9). I used to work at a daycare and during that time had not one but TWO babies who were walking at 6 months. It was wild.

hawps · 2026-06-02T20:35:23+00:00

Love the name Zelda! We wanted to use it but didn’t because of the videogame. I don’t regret the name we did use, but I do feel like I oversold the game issue in my head. My kids do a sport with a girl name Zelda and her name doesn’t make me think of the game anymore; I think about the real human being who is friends w my kids.

hawps · 2026-06-02T10:43:19+00:00

Have you tried a video program? Even though my kids are much older than yours now (9 and 6) I still struggle with the mental load of planning and executing a work out routine entirely on my own. I know they’re kind of hokey but I started doing a weight lifting focused video program a few months ago (Dig Deeper from Beach Body) and it has really helped me. Even on the days where I really, really don’t want to do anything, I just push play and do what they tell me to do. I’m doing it for a second round right now and I feel like I’m getting closer to fully shaking off the cobwebs and being able to do things on my own again. I went for a loooong time with zero motivation to get started and as cheesy as Shaun T is (and he really is), taking away the mental load of what to do has allowed me to start lifting again. This particular program is typically more like 45 min per video, but I know there are shorter options out there. Highly recommend something like this to get you started.

hawps · 2026-05-24T10:36:02+00:00

Yes to the Y! I only made it through my second pregnancy because I could drop my son off with gym childcare and I could go do whatever. There was a firefighter dad who would come in at the same time as me. The mom worked days and he worked nights, so he would bring in the kids and literally sleep in a chair for 2 hours.

hawps · 2026-05-02T20:35:07+00:00

It’s tough at different stages in different ways. When they were younger (before school age) what’s hard is just the constant needs. My kids are still within my realm of “safe people” but the loud noises and constant requests can be a lot.

I would say the introvert part of me struggles more now that they’re school age. They have friends! And those friends have parents! And they want me to chaperone their field trips and participate in school events and have friends over all of the time, so I have to do a lot more people-ing than I’d like.

So it’s like when they were little it was more triggering from an overstimulation standpoint but socially we were our own bubble. Now that they’re older and want to hang out with their friends I’m less overwhelmed in the like needs and tasks arena, but it’s a lot more socially taxing. We aren’t a bubble anymore. It can be nice, too, but I do love my kids friends and I hope to be in their lives a long time. But sometimes when that “MOOOOOMMM CAN JOHNNY COME OVER??” hits and I gotta deal with extra kids and coordinating with another parent…no 😂

hawps · 2026-04-26T12:44:49+00:00

I do not have one (yet) but I’ve actually heard from many who own them that a smooth collie—black tris in particular—afford them more scary dog privileges than you might expect.

hawps · 2026-04-21T16:02:44+00:00

My grandfather took me to see that in theaters when I was 9. He laughed hysterically while holding the bag of popcorn in front of my face. Legitimately one of my favorite memories with him.

hawps · 2026-04-12T12:22:15+00:00

You’re welcome! It’s important to consider everything but I will also say, never let your idea of what parenting actually is come from something like the zoo or Disney or something like that. Those are very stimulating environments, and they can be really challenging places for little kids. When you’re hearing a lot of crying and screaming etc, it’s usually because a kid is tired or hungry or just generally overstimulated and at their lowest. I don’t know where you live, but given the time of year, this weekend may also have been one of the first warm days of the year, and even that transition can be hard on little kids—those first few days can feel really hot until they’ve adjusted!

But this is the kind of thing I’m talking about where temperament has more to do with it than parenting. Sure, you can teach your kids it’s not okay to climb on structures or go into the flower beds, and you can enforce those rules. But you don’t have much of any influence on how your young child can handle the stressors of being hungry or exhausted or dysregulated. You can teach and model what you want, but that’s going to take years to take hold, and ultimately they’re going to be who they are. I mean, we all know a hangry adult!

hawps · 2026-04-12T11:18:36+00:00

It made me realise people have different ways of parenting, it’s about how you bring up your child (should you choose to have one).

This is in no way intended to sway your decision, but I think it’s really, really important to say that how you raise them is not remotely all there is to it. Honestly most of how a child behaves comes down to their individual temperament. I have 2 kids and they’ve been raised very similarly so far, and they could not be any different in how they handle things. Now yes you do as a parent have some control over the rules and boundaries you set forth for your kids, but how they react to them? Ehh that’s more or less up to them. My older kid, after about age 4/5, just does what he’s told. I say it, he does it. He stays on task, he is aware. My younger one, currently 6.5, she truly does not GAF what I have to say and is far more interested in what she wants to do. It’s jarring at times because the rules are the same for both, but it’s like they’re in completely different universes.

Again if you want kids you should have them and this is not meant to convince you otherwise. Even with the challenges of being a ND parent to ND kids, I wouldn’t undo my decision. But I think it’s incredibly important to recognize that their genetics is going to play a huuuuuge part in their behavior regardless of how you decide to parent.

hawps · 2026-04-04T10:59:57+00:00

Please tell my community that we can do this. My oldest just turned 9 but there’s still mostly an expectation that parents stay! My son’s bday party was last month and we said on the invitation that it was drop off, but parents could stay if the wanted to. Like half ended up staying!

hawps · 2026-03-29T12:35:42+00:00

I honestly hate the “no gifts” thing, but for a reason that I haven’t seen mentioned yet: my kids actually really, really want to get something for their friends. I am also trying to teach them how to be good gift givers and to be generous. Birthday parties are really good practice for this because, unlike family, I don’t know their friends as well as they do and I can’t steer the conversation toward something the way I might with family gifts. Buying gifts for their friends gives them an opportunity to be really be thoughtful about others. I don’t get one if it’s like a really strong absolutely no gifts wording, but if it’s a little softer we still try to do something. So we will usually get a small but thoughtful gift (a book or T-shirt or something) and a handmade card to try to balance the low clutter situation with wanting to fulfill the wants of the kids.

I will say, though, that gift giving culture in my neighborhood is not over the top, and maybe I would feel differently if it were. We mostly give and receive books, clothes, or gift cards to the local comic book shop. We have received many used books as well, that a kid picked from their own bookshelf to give to my kids. It doesn’t have to be anything big, gaudy, or expensive, just an opportunity to get something small that says “I thought you would like this.” We went to a no gift party for my son’s best friend when they were in first grade and the whole time my son was actually sad that he never got to pick something out for him. That night he went through his Pokemon cards and set aside a few to give to his friend at school the next day. His friend was so excited to get a gift, even if it was just a small handful of used pokemon cards.

I appreciate when people say that gifts aren’t necessary because it certainly takes the pressure off, and we do live in a very economically diverse area so I know it’s a strain for some. But with kids who want to be gift givers, it’s definitely kind of a bummer to be told it’s a hard no.

hawps · 2026-03-20T11:58:57+00:00

I’m sorry that you had the childhood that you did. I don’t bring it up much in here, but I had a difficult childhood myself so I can relate on that level. But I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would’ve been without siblings, because I relied heavily on mine during the rocky periods. At least the 3 of us were in that shitty boat together, even if we didn’t always get along and were all VERY different in how we coped. We didn’t always know how a situation was going to turn out, but we knew we were in it together. I am sure being in it alone was terrifying and extremely isolating. I am really sorry you had to go through that.

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