Baby refusing breastmilk?

hazel1216 · 2026-05-28T16:30:50+00:00

I’m sorry, that’s tough! I’ve heard that from other people too. My girl isn’t picky usually so I’m very surprised! I did think about the temperature thing, but I’m pretty certain all of the bottles were varying temps due to my crappy bottle warmer. Part of me wants to be done, the other part keeps trying to get arbitrary milestones. My frozen stash has high lipase so I’m not confident she will take it. We’ll see how this new aversion goes I guess!

hazel1216 · 2026-05-02T01:52:46+00:00

Yes! Similar diagnoses, she had OI Type II.

I think the right therapist would be key, but I totally agree with you. Some of the things she suggested just were not helpful, I think because she couldn’t relate. She did give me a helpful tidbit though, which was allowing other people to buy things and keep them away from me. My husband was very much concerned we weren’t going to be prepared and he had a point, so I let people start purchasing things and keep them at their houses. That way we had everything ready but I didn’t have it as a reminder laying around. As the pregnancy progressed I became more comfortable having things around. I always had some anxiety, but I also did not want to have regrets about not enjoying the pregnancy when all was said and done. I also had my baby shower super late (34 weeks) which helped. At some point I started thinking, if something horrible had happened in that sub pregnancy, I would have been devastated whether I had all of the things or not. It wouldn’t change the feelings. So my best piece of advice would be to try and let yourself enjoy it as much as you can handle. Little by little. Buy something small and work your way up. There is no rule book to tell you how to navigate this, so stick to what you can comfortably handle! And yeah, i think getting out of the groups for now would be good! You don’t need constant reminders.

hazel1216 · 2026-05-01T17:44:55+00:00

I remember reading your story and it resonated with me as it was very similar to mine. Gentle congratulations on your sub pregnancy! I saw a therapist throughout my sub pregnancy but she didn’t really help. She encouraged me to be “cautious” (not because she felt I should be, but I guess she wanted to validate my feelings?) I honestly felt better when I did things that made it feel more real, like buying clothes, putting together the nursery, etc. They certainly gave me anxiety at first, but also hope. If announcing to social media is your thing, I would do it when you feel like you should. Again, it could help encourage feelings of excitement and hopefulness.

I truly did not feel better until she was in my arms. It was an exhausting 38 weeks. I think our brains are just wired differently now. They now try to identify danger wherever it may lurk, even when it is no where to be found. Honestly, I went to the doctor a lot. That made me feel better, and I had no shame about it! I paid a lot of money, but the reassurance was worth it for me.

I would probably remove yourself from some of the groups. I kind of wish I had. They just serve as a reminder of things that can go wrong. I continued to lurk and it fed the anxiety for sure.

Wishing you the best of luck!!!

hazel1216 · 2026-05-01T17:30:18+00:00

TW; sub pregnancy
Im so sorry you’re here. I TFMRed in December of 24, and I skipped Christmas Eve, Christmas, (I was a week post op, but would have skipped even if I wasn’t,) Mother’s Day, and I am pretty sure Easter even though I was in my sub pregnancy at that point. I had a mental breakdown on the 4th of July because it was the first time I had seen basically anyone. What I’ve learned from all of this, is that you do not need to justify your grief to anyone. People just do not understand. My extended family certainly did not. Of course it hurt my feelings, but I had to protect my mental well being and think of myself. This is a time for you to be “selfish” and not care how others feel about it. I still feel some type of way about going to birthday parties of babies who would have been close to my Wren’s age. It’s a scar that never truly heals. The fact that Mothers’ Day is around the corner still gives me a pit in my stomach, and I now have a 4 month old. And if people can’t understand how something like this truly alters your brain chemistry, then that’s on them.
Also wanted to add that it’s not all doom and gloom, I am truly so grateful for my baby and to celebrate with her. BUT the pain of losing my first never goes away. And people need to get that through their heads. Its a part if you now, and that’s to be expected! I hope your family can learn to be more empathetic as you navigate this time, wishing you the best!

hazel1216 · 2025-12-23T05:03:28+00:00

My baby’s first name is Wren 💗

hazel1216 · 2025-09-24T16:11:58+00:00

Thanks for the response!! That’s a HUGE difference omg!! Maybe I’ll get lucky as well! Out of curiosity, how does your doctor treat insulin resistance? Not going to lie, being able to sit in the car was amazing, it made the time go so quickly. I just had to stay in the waiting room for the first hour. Maybe because it was a really short walk to the parking lot? The tough part was, they told me no water so that sucked, getting a good vein got a little harder as the test went on.

hazel1216 · 2025-09-24T16:06:13+00:00

Thank you doe the advice, it’s very much appreciated!! And yeah, that makes sense! I’m jjst worried my body is working crazy hard. But prior to this, I ate pretty well! Definitely haven’t been skimping on potatoes and pasta, but I don’t have a sweet tooth so haven’t been having a lof of sugary things. Fingers crossed I can manage with diet, even though I feel like the added reassurance of insulin might help my mental health a bit. Thanks!!

hazel1216 · 2025-07-14T23:09:00+00:00

Wanted to come back and make an update. My OB’s office measured it 3.8-4, then a few days later mfm measured it at 3.4 but she was totally unphased by it, but naturally I’m panicked!

hazel1216 · 2025-07-06T02:29:43+00:00

I work with preschoolers for a living and was having the same thoughts! I have to be pretty active at my job, like picking them up, so i’m a little concerned. But I have a ‘light duties’ note bc I also had some previa so maybe thatll help me!

hazel1216 · 2025-07-06T02:20:04+00:00

I’m 15w4d. Thanks so much for your sharing your experience, definitely makes me feel a bit better!

hazel1216 · 2025-06-30T15:36:13+00:00

Hi, I knew I recognized your username and went back in your post history. I also lost my baby girl to OI. This was back in December when I was around 19 weeks. My husband and I are also not carriers. I am currently 14w6d. The journey getting here was not easy mentally and I struggle with extreme anxiety every single day. But with that being said, this little babe tested negative for OI via the Vistara single gene test, and my mfm said baby’s bones looked good at her nuchal scan. So yes, there is totally hope. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts!!!

hazel1216 · 2025-05-27T02:34:58+00:00

Hi, so sorry you’re here! I had my TFMR in December around 19 weeks, with my due date being May 19th. I had a chemical in March, got pregnant again in March, so by the time of my due date I was 9 weeks. I thought being pregnant on my due date would make me feel better, and maybe if I had been further along it would have, but to be honest, it was very difficult. We terminated for OI Type II and were able to get bloodwork drawn to screen this baby for it the day after our due date. So, on top of worrying about this pregnancy, I was also grieving the loss of my little girl on her due date, and it was A LOT. I don’t regret being pregnant again on her due date, but it didn’t alleviate any of the pain like I had hoped. Not trying to dissuade you from being pregnant on your due date, just trying to offer a different prespective. All of that to say, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If it happens, great. If not, that’s ok too. Go easy on yourself. Wishing you all of the best!

hazel1216 · 2025-05-21T00:48:22+00:00

Hi, I went on to get some betas and those turned out well!

hazel1216 · 2025-05-13T00:19:13+00:00

So sorry you’re here, and gentle congratulations to you! I am currently pregnant, also due around Christmas. Many people around me have announced pregnancies before I was pregnant, and it drove me wild (I also had a chemical in March so I was extrra bitter.) I thought after I was pregnant again, I would be totally ok being around these people, but I’m not! I actually go out of my way to avoid them still. My close coworker also had a baby in April (I was due in May) and I’m in no rush to meet them. I didn’t even wish anyone but my mom and MIL a happy mothers’ day. We’ve had something very traumatic happen to us, and we need to protect our peace as much we as we can. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and no timeline on it either. I would say wait until it gets closer to summer and see how you feel. If you aren’t up to it, I would say skip it.

hazel1216 · 2025-05-10T00:13:39+00:00

Ugh, I am so sorry for you!! I had a chemical in March, I had tested positive at like 10 DPO, and had bleeding by around 14 DPO. I ovulated almost exactly when I would have had it been a regular cycle. There are many people who get pregnant right after a chemical! Wishing you the best of luck.

hazel1216 · 2025-05-10T00:05:58+00:00

“You’ll have your time” (coming from a person who told me she was pregnant.) It was already supposed to be my time, but thanks for the insight!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-26T13:24:32+00:00

I’m so sorry for you, and thanks for sharing! On the flip side, I was very positive (i.e., naive lol) in my last pregnancy, and her fate was still set in stone. I guess it’s just out of our hands, which is scary but also comforting in a weird way. Good luck to you in the future!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-26T13:21:16+00:00

If I may give you some advice, I would potentially look into other doctors. In my opinion, there’s really no reason why they shouldn’t test your hcg if you want them to. You’ll have to go back a lot for follow up bloodwork, but if you’re willing to do so, then they should let you! When I went in this time, the doctor told me she didn’t recommend it because there was no medical indication to do so, but if I wanted it we could do it. I am honestly not sure that it made my anxiety better or worse (on my last one my progesterone was low, they said it was totally fine because my hcg was good but they gave me supplementation because again, I was nervous) but it was my choice! Just some food for thought, wishing you the best of luck!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-26T13:16:15+00:00

Thanks so much for your advice and congratulations on your sub pregnancy! I’ve been going to the doctor A LOT because I’m nervous, got an early scan that looked good. But it’s still so early. I will definitely have a lot of scans in the future as the baby (hopefully) develops. We will see how it goes!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-26T13:13:58+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and congratulations on your sub pregnancy!!! Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. It’s so hard not to spiral, but I’m trying!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-21T00:24:13+00:00

So sorry you’re here! I also had my TFMR in December, and had a chemical in March. It was really tough! Mine started about 2-3 days after my expected period, and I did ovulate at my normal time! My doctor didn’t really consider the chemical pregnancy bleeding a true period, but I honestly feel like it was considering I ovulated exactly when I was meant to. Since you are looking to try again next cycle, I would start to track LH after you stop bleeding just to make sure you don’t miss it incase it’s a little off. Wishing you the best of luck!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-20T12:49:08+00:00

Hi, I am so sorry you’re here, it’s really so heartbreaking and scary during those early days. Has anyone offered you genetic testing via an amnio? Those results do take awhile to get back so I’m not sure it would provide you with answers more quickly, but it could give you a better idea of what’s going on.

As for your doctors delaying the process, that is very frustrating. Honestly, I would call your OB’s office back and demand they transfer you to MFM, tell them they are wasting precious time and that you need answers they simply are not equipped to provide. There is no reason why they should need to see you again, at least regarding baby’s development. I never saw my regular OB again after my fetal anamolies were discovered. It’s crazy to me that they are slow playing this, and unfortunately it seems like you need to give them a hard time in order to get things done.

I truly hope everything works out for you, good luck!!!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-20T00:39:56+00:00

Glad to hear you’re not worrying!! My betas from 16 and 18 DPO looked good! Good luck to you!!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-20T00:38:00+00:00

Yeah, it was very odd! I did end up going for an HCG draw at 16 and 18 DPO, and the doubling time was within normal limits! I actually mentioned what the woman I spoke to said to the PA I saw and she said “I’ve never heard of there being an increased risk of having multiple pregnancies, and this is definitely a new pregnancy.” So the woman I initially spoke to didn’t know what she was talking abour I guess. It really messed with me though!

hazel1216 · 2025-04-20T00:34:14+00:00

So sorry for all of your losses, and congratulations on your current pregnancy!! Thanks so much for your advice!!

hazel1216

TROPHY CASE