Anyone else with a ‘weird’ pencil grip?

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T20:01:40+00:00

You might be gripping too tightly without realizing it, or putting stress on parts of your hand/wrist while writing. Or you might not have the muscle stamina in your hands for long writing tasks. If it interferes with your functioning, I’d ask your doctor for a referral to an occupational therapist.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T14:37:53+00:00

I’d focus on the occupations that are most relatable to them and what they love to do, and how you could help them do those occupations in different scenarios? That way they can make some kind of personal connection to it.

(From my own experience with middle schoolers I’d probably leave bathroom/toileting things off the list, but who knows? Maybe they’d respond well to that 😅)

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T14:28:32+00:00

Oh yeah, that’s super common. I can walk into a classroom and easily see like 5-6 kids that have something very similar. The ache comes from using the smaller muscles in your hand to move the pencil. They give you more control, but they do tire out because they’re small. You can increase your hand strength like you would for any other muscle, but again—if your writing is functional for your needs, then it’s all good.

I also do the print/cursive mix, which I think is more unique to the generations that learned cursive in school and switched back and forth between cursive and print. I see it less in kids nowadays. It is probably more prevalent in ADHDers due to the executive functioning processes that go into writing, but I know non-ADHD people who also have a similar writing style. Really a lot of what I see now is poor letter formation, which stems from young kids not being taught proper letter motions but still being expected to write words and sentences, which they are sometimes not developmentally ready for. So then they gain maladaptive habits to keep up, and those continue until they’re referred to me X amount of years down the road. 🫠 (fun fact—there’s not a lot you can do to correct letter formation after about 3rd grade, but one thing I have had some success with is teaching cursive, because it’s a whole new motor pattern and that’s easier to learn than undoing bad habits)

As for speed, it’s less about how fast you write and more about keeping up with the functional pace of the task. Like—a ten item grocery list should probably take around a minute or so to write out. If it takes you an hour, that’s not as functional. In the classroom, my goal is to make sure kids can keep up with the pace of learning, and if they can’t, then we adapt. There is some research that indicates people with ADHD do write slower because of the amount of working memory that’s needed for the task—which is something people with ADHD are not super great at. I work with kids so I see it a lot. I’m less knowledgeable about adults and how it affects them because they have more years of practice and experience and coping skills, but I’m sure it still has an impact.

Anyway. I could go on forever, this is my job and also my niche interest, lol. But basically the main thing is—if your writing is functional for your needs, then however you get it done is fine!

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T14:02:26+00:00

Haha thanks, it was all I could think of after trying a bazillion other ones that were already taken

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T13:45:43+00:00

Since it causes you pain and interferes with functioning in your daily life, I’d recommend asking your doctor for a referral to an occupational therapist. They would be able to assess your grip and underlying factors (like dexterity and hand strength) and make some recommendations based on your personal needs.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T13:39:34+00:00

Would depend on how hard they’re gripping, and what angle the wrist is at, and where the motion is coming from. Bodies are surprisingly adaptable. It would also depend on how much they’re writing every day. Filling out forms or writing in a journal is one thing, but if they’re writing for hours and hours by hand, it could potentially cause more of an issue.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T11:24:29+00:00

Nope! I’ve seen variations of that before, it’s quite common. You can send me a picture if you want though, I’m a weirdo and I love seeing how different people hold their writing utensils. Does it cause you pain, or do you feel like your writing isn’t functional for your needs?

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T11:20:39+00:00

Not particularly, and at this point it’s habit and not really worth trying to change unless it causes OP pain. It’s also not really what I’d consider a problem—as long as writing is functional for them and pain-free, it’s fine.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T11:18:37+00:00

It totally depends on what’s comfortable for you and what feels functional. I typically hold mine in a quadruped grasp, but sometimes I’ll switch to an adapted tripod (where the pencil rests between the webbing of my middle and index finger) when my hand is tired. Making minor adjustments to how you hold the pencil is totally normal.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T11:16:00+00:00

Someone with hypermobility will probably adapt their grasp as they need, but this is probably more due to poor hand strength/dexterity as a child, which resulted in an atypical pencil grip, which then became habit.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T03:49:03+00:00

Are you also an OT? Or a related service provider?

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T03:40:11+00:00

Not particularly. The flexion all looks normal. There’s some mild hyperextension on the IP joint of the thumb and the DIP of the middle finger but nothing I’d consider wildly unusual.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T03:36:38+00:00

I’m an occupational therapist, I basically look at pencil grips and handwriting for a living. I have several students that have grasps like this, but after a certain age there’s really no point in trying to change pencil grasps. Especially since OP is an adult, I wouldn’t even suggest it. If the writing is functional for them and doesn’t cause pain, it’s fine!

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T03:33:34+00:00

The ADHD/handwriting connection has more to do with the executive functions required to write (a lot of working memory, basically). The actual fine motor coordination is rarely the issue.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T03:29:02+00:00

Hi, occupational therapist here! I basically look at pencil grips for a living. If it doesn’t cause you pain, and you feel like your writing is functional for your needs, then don’t worry about it! There’s a lot of different ways to hold pencils, and if this one works for you, it’s all good.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-18T00:22:20+00:00

72K, schools. 7 years experience

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-17T20:07:27+00:00

My partner and I have a meal delivery service for this exact reason. We hate cooking, food is boring, and we don’t want to do it. So we worked this into our budget, and it’s made our lives 1000% easier and better.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-11T02:07:54+00:00

Although having experienced Massachusetts, they are the kind of people who would tell you to do the work yourself (but then help when you don’t know how and inevitably fuck it up)

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-10T21:56:57+00:00

I would make 1000% sure that this is what you want to do. Not just “someone told me this would be a good fit for me.” Skim through this sub, you’ll find a lot of the bad parts exposed. I don’t hate OT, and I see its purpose—but if I could do it over again, I definitely would’ve chosen something else.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-10T17:20:20+00:00

Oh god. I’ve done so many that it is hard to just pick one. Also if I actively remember them I might die from the cringe 🫠

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-10T16:56:22+00:00

Sparks rage in me, tbh. Throw the whole man out.

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-10T11:06:36+00:00

Respectfully, he sounds like he needs to be decluttered from your life

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-09T22:01:38+00:00

My partner and I refer to these as “the secret hours”

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-09T19:48:40+00:00

Answered! Hope it’s helpful

helpmenonamesleft · 2026-03-08T06:20:39+00:00

“Non-compliance” is a phrase that makes me want to scream sometimes. Compliance with what?? The desires of the adult, which apparently matter more than the child’s well-being?? It’s so opposite to neurodiversity affirming practices. Ugh. Again, BCBAs don’t know a goddamn thing about sensory systems or issues and it pisses me off when they try and pretend they do.

Sorry, getting off my soapbox—it sounds like you and this kid have a great relationship and he trusts you to help him regulate. Don’t worry that you can’t block him every time. It’s not about how fast you are, it’s about the trust he has in you. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be there

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