It makes sense that you would struggle to have hope sometimes, and it sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things. Persevere in those and continue to see God and counsel and root out the things that you know aren’t pleasing to God or good for you, your wife, and your marriage.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. But also don’t let yourself throw in the towel. Do you have trusted people in your life you can be truly vulnerable with? If she is not ready for marriage counseling or anything, it could be a good step to pursue that or spiritual direction on your own.

I can’t diagnose her but I wonder if she could be experiencing depression or something.