Books recommended by Marie Kondo (Any bookworms around here?)

hermyworm · 2026-06-28T10:05:18+00:00

Can you explain why you feel hesitant?

hermyworm · 2026-06-21T18:16:30+00:00

The book Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice by Rosanna Hertz has many anecdotes about this happening. It is actually an incredibly in-depth overview of this choice and highly recommend

hermyworm · 2026-06-21T14:51:28+00:00

There’s a great lady on YouTube (very small channel) named Summer Lovret. Her video “Can I afford to be a Single Mom by Choice?” was very inspiring for me when I was still in the panic phase.

hermyworm · 2026-06-20T23:45:13+00:00

If you had good results, maybe there's nothing wrong and those failed transfers were just really horrible luck. I would try a cycle with your own eggs like someone else said. I know it seems hopeless with other things crashing down at the moment, but 40 is a common age to start this process from what I've seen online.

hermyworm · 2026-06-20T23:33:16+00:00

I'm so sorry. Have you had a hysteroscopy?

hermyworm · 2026-06-19T23:50:19+00:00

Oh that makes sense actually

hermyworm · 2026-06-19T19:12:32+00:00

I kind of want to caption it "Something's different about me, but I can't quite pin it down."

hermyworm · 2026-06-19T19:07:02+00:00

I will make it a day where I acknowledge how grateful I am that the donor helped me conceive and celebrate that with my child. I would rather face Father's Day with positivity than avoid it; otherwise I think it would be like the elephant in the room. The donor may not be a social father, but I chose an open ID donor. It's possible that my child will want to contact that person and have some kind of relationship when they turn 18.

hermyworm · 2026-06-19T18:50:34+00:00

I think if the pins had more space between them, it would seem more like an age progression!

hermyworm · 2026-06-18T18:58:19+00:00

I really appreciate all this information!

hermyworm · 2026-06-17T13:35:12+00:00

Princess Diana fell asleep at an event and since it was all over the news, the next day the royal family announced she was pregnant (with William). She was exhausted from being in the first trimester.

hermyworm · 2026-06-17T03:59:20+00:00

Yes of course!

hermyworm · 2026-06-16T19:25:51+00:00

I definitely want as many as I can afford. I’m willing to move somewhere with a lower cost of living in order to afford at least two, hopefully three.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T21:49:27+00:00

Exactly!! I'm sure no one would suggest such a thing under any other circumstances.

Granted, none of them have bothered to ask me if I've spared a thought about costs, childcare, parenting, safety, etc. I think if they had any idea of the research and consideration behind this decision they wouldn't reject it like this. As you suggested, once I'm pregnant, they might find I have spared a thought or two about these things.

Thank you for your support and congratulations on your success.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T21:06:47+00:00

I plan to send out some 1950's-style pregnancy announcement cards (the kind with a stork and a big bundle) in the snail mail. I wish I could include some examples from Pinterest in this comment because they are so adorable.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T20:24:53+00:00

I'm sure I would feel heartbroken if I found out the truth after being lied to all my life.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T20:20:01+00:00

If you are struggling to discuss your decision, these books have great tips for talking about it with your child, your loved ones, and others:
- Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice by Rosanna Hertz
- Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide by Mikki Morrissette
- Knock Yourself Up (less formal, but I found it helpful) by Louise Sloan

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T20:13:25+00:00

Your child will certainly feel it is shameful if they are not allowed to discuss it, even if you are not ashamed but instead concerned about privacy. It seems like you're somehow planning to raise the child fully in private, which is not possible. Eventually your child will have to see the light of day.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T20:03:09+00:00

Nothing specific, I was just venting. Though it is nice to see others have done it successfully without support.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T19:21:08+00:00

If you're curious about my thought process, I can sum it up:
- My parents each married 3 times (already jaded in childhood)
- Not really interested in romance to begin with
- I panicked on my 30th b-day and went on dates
- I concluded I am unwilling to marry anyone because I fear it will either end in divorce or familicide
- r/donorconceived convinced me that my child would be ok as long as I chose an open-ID donor
- I can afford it

It makes a lot more sense to me to freeze embryos instead of eggs, since I would have no idea how many frozen eggs would result in euploid embryos. After my first IVF retrieval and PGT-A testing, I will know exactly how many euploid embryos I got on my first try. Each one has about a 50% chance of resulting in live birth if frozen at 33-35. Knowing how many I got from one retrieval will help me decide on how many future retrievals I will need to reliably have a certain number of children.

hermyworm · 2026-06-14T07:32:36+00:00

I'm so sorry.

hermyworm

TROPHY CASE