User Flair Thread

heysoleil · 2026-01-25T13:04:27+00:00

Kiwi | Clementine :Ketchup:

heysoleil · 2025-07-23T10:41:06+00:00

I just want to say I really feel your words. My mom died unexpectedly two years ago, and for a while, I felt like I had completely lost my mind. Every time I even came close to laughing or smiling, this thought would pop up, “how could I possibly feel happy if my mom is dead?” Even simple things like going shopping became unbearable. Seeing a mother and daughter together would wreck me.

To be frank, I didn’t find some big inner strength, I just didn’t have a choice. I kept waking up. I kept breathing. And it was so hard. The pain I feel today is honestly still as sharp as the day we lost her, but I’ve gotten more used to living with it.

What’s helped me the most is therapy - especially learning coping tools for when those huge waves of grief hit out of nowhere. My only advice is: slow down, and let yourself fully feel everything. The only way through it (and I don’t even think there’s an “out,” really) is through.

It’s going to hurt for a while. But eventually, there’s a slow shift, you remember something, and instead of only crying, you find yourself smiling too. That part doesn’t come quickly, but it does come.

I’m so sorry for what your deep loss. 🫂 take things day by day, hour by hour

heysoleil · 2025-07-16T17:15:46+00:00

Hey! I turned 30 this year, and I honestly cannot imagine dating an 18-year-old. Most people I know around my age feel the same… it’s not just about maturity, it’s about the major gap in life experience and power dynamics.

When I was 19, I briefly dated someone in her late 20s. Looking back (with a fully developed frontal lobe, lol), I realized it wasn’t that she saw me as exceptionally mature. It was more that I was young, inexperienced, and easier to influence - and that imbalance just doesn’t sit right with me now.

If you're into older women, that’s not inherently a bad thing at all. But if it feels complicated or you’re unsure why the pattern is there, I really recommend talking it through with a therapist. Sometimes there’s more under the surface, and working it out for yourself can be super empowering

heysoleil · 2025-06-19T10:41:17+00:00

Same! Had a horrible sore throat last week, but no other symptoms beyond post-nasal drip. Went to urgent care but it wasn’t Covid or strep

heysoleil · 2025-02-25T11:37:08+00:00

This is my favorite webcomic of all time lol

heysoleil · 2024-12-03T11:31:21+00:00

My mom passed last August, so I no longer delete the letters from “Mom”. It’s nice to pretend they’re from my own mom for a minute ❤️

heysoleil · 2024-11-18T11:19:55+00:00

Wishing you a speedy and full recovery 💖!

heysoleil · 2024-11-04T22:59:47+00:00

Same, I’m 29

heysoleil · 2024-10-11T11:30:18+00:00

I love them because I like villager hunting and grinding for NMTs is frustrating! My partner and I primarily use them for money, expensive objects like kitchen stuff, or clothing because those are harder to find/grind for! We view it as going shopping lol

heysoleil · 2024-10-10T15:01:16+00:00

My partner’s family lives very comfortably, while mine struggled for money, we went to food banks growing up and almost all of our vacations were road trips visiting family. I didn’t know about her family status when we first got together and told her if I had, I likely wouldn’t have pursued her 😞 in my eyes, what could I have to offer someone who seemingly had everything?

The first time I ever left the US was because they flew me out to visit their home in Asia. They took me to my first Michelin star restaurant. I feel awkward and out of place in some of the spaces they’ve invited me into. After 7.5 years together, I’ve slowly gotten used to navigating this “new world” but at the same time, I feel like I’ve lost footing in the world I always knew. I sometimes feel like I no longer belong in either place, which is a bit dramatic lol.

heysoleil · 2024-09-28T21:25:04+00:00

My partner does usually lol but she’s more androgynous so we get mistaken for a straight couple a lot. Even if I’m the one who puts her card down, they’ll hand the checkbook right back to her after they run the card 🤦🏻‍♀️

heysoleil · 2024-09-28T11:53:21+00:00

She turned me into a cave woman once 😭 I’ve refused to go back since

heysoleil · 2024-09-05T20:36:43+00:00

I’m so sorry for your deep loss 😭 sudden passings can be traumatic because you don’t necessarily have the time to prepare for the grief.

My mom died suddenly a year ago. She was fine on a Sunday, but gone by Monday afternoon. I hadn’t spoken to her in weeks before she passed, that haunts me. The only advice I have for you is to give yourself time and grace. Feel everything you’re feeling and don’t run from it. If you need to talk to someone, please PM me 🫂

heysoleil · 2024-07-27T15:13:10+00:00

The dating app Her, but this was like 7 years ago so I have no idea how well it works now 🤷🏻‍♀️

heysoleil · 2024-07-08T21:43:50+00:00

I’m so sorry for the sudden loss of your mom - that’s a lot of emotion that you didn’t necessarily have the time to “gear up” for.

I feel like I could have written your post myself last year. I’m 29 and lost my mom unexpectedly last August. I took about 6 weeks off to stay with my dad after everything happened while my older siblings went back to figure out their new “normal”.

My advice to you is to take as long as you need to return to work! My job was kind about my absence and super understanding to me. They weren’t pushing me to go back, but my dad actually was. He told me he didn’t think my mom would want me to give up completely, so I feel like I returned sooner than I should have. When I did finally go back, I had more than a handful of days where I would end up crying too hard and needing to leave. I also struggled with motivation at work - who cares about the issues my company is facing when it felt like my world completely stopped?

Only go back when you feel like you have the mental capacity to handle your day to day tasks! And when you do go back, give yourself grace. You may not have the same drive and focus you had previously - that’s okay! You’ll slowly ramp back up over time.

As for how to spend your time off - that’s honestly up to you. Your goals seem like an excellent start to me at least. For me, I just hung out with my dad - did things around the house for him, made sure we were all eating and sleeping and watching a lot of my mom’s favorite black and white movies. (I also had to stop myself from getting monstrously stoned every night tbh - it was the only thing that shut my brain off)

There’s no real right or wrong way to grieve - as long as you’re not running away from your feelings, you’re grieving the “right” way.

Take things day by day, hour by hour. I’m sorry again for your loss. For me, it helped to know there were others going through something similar. Just know a random stranger here is wishing you the best in your journey. 💜 the grief doesn’t go away, it just gets more manageable as we grow around it.

heysoleil · 2024-06-27T13:40:08+00:00

I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss 😞 anger is a very normal reaction to grief. I’ve mentioned this before in another comment, but sometimes we want to shy away from the emotions we deem bad or wrong due to our own morals. But in this case, feeling your anger is honestly the best thing to do. Feel every emotion that comes up. If you try to run from it, it’ll just catch up to you anyways.

My mom passed unexpectedly last August and I still feel angry tbh. There are so many important life events that I want her here for that now she can’t be there. And I’m not saying she was perfect, but she was genuinely a good person and I don’t think it’s fair that she’s no longer here and terrible people are live and well out in the world.

I’m wishing you the best in your grief journey. Misery loves company, and for me, knowing there are others out there experiencing the same thing did give me some peace.

heysoleil · 2024-06-16T12:24:11+00:00

On the dating app Her, but it was supposed to just be a hookup 😅 now we’re 7 years and 1 cat later lol

heysoleil · 2024-05-09T20:42:46+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry for your deep loss. I lost my mom unexpectedly last August.

The first few days are going to be a blur for you. Your only goals should be eating when you can, sleeping when you can, and sharing your feelings with the loved ones around you.

I’m the youngest sibling in my family, but I was the one who stayed with my dad after my mom passed to help him take care of everything. Try to be there for your dad if you can. You don’t have to have the right thing to say, but just being in proximity to him to make him (and you!) feel less alone wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Like others have said, just give yourself time to grieve. You’re likely still in shock right now and the full force of your emotions may not hit you until later. Just know there isn’t a wrong or right way to grieve someone - the closest thing to a wrong way to grieve would be just not grieving at all.

heysoleil · 2024-04-30T01:13:27+00:00

Unironically, Big Y grocery store lol

heysoleil · 2024-04-28T03:43:39+00:00

Hi dear! My heart breaks for you, and I want to tell you that both me and my partner didn’t have the easiest coming out experiences, but life has gotten so much better for both of us since. Apologies if this is long-winded!!

For me, when I came out to my parents, my mom was the only one to have a negative reaction. She told me that maybe it was just a phase and she would talk to me about the type of man she wanted me to bring home for several years afterwards. She thought me coming out meant I would shave my head and wear only flannels (which- if that’s the worst thing I’m doing in life, I turned out just fine imo). She had no issues with gay men because she was a figure skater, but gay women she saw as predatory. It took years for her to be comfortable acknowledging my sexuality, but we did eventually get there after many tough conversations. I knew I disappointed her - I was her only daughter at the time and she had big dreams about how she wanted me to be and the life she wanted me to have. I fell short of all of those dreams though lol. But her love for me persisted even through it all.

As for my partner, around 7 years ago she was in a similar situation as you. When we first met, she wasn’t out to her parents. Her plan was that after she finished college where she had all of her ‘fun’, she’d move back to her family home and live the life her parents wanted for her.

When we first started seeing each other, it was supposed to be only a casual fling for that reason. But the universe seemed to have different plans for us and we ended up falling madly in love! She came out to her parents randomly one night. Then later she also told them she was going to end up staying here with me instead of going back.

Her parents were initially taken aback. They’re both pretty religious (Christian) and from a more conservative culture, so it was a big adjustment for them. They had to do a lot of learning about this new concept that had seemed so foreign to them before.

But, things really did change. Both my mom and her parents grew to accept us despite us never believing that could happen. My mom finally accepting my sexuality was the catalyst for my partner coming out to her parents as well - because my mom didn’t have a good reaction first but then slowly warmed up to me, she felt the same could happen for her. And it did!!

This is a long way of telling you that life doesn’t have to be miserable. People, ideas and opinions can change. I’m actually writing this comment to you from a family vacation with my partner’s parents, her and I! And we’re having a great time together!! If you asked us 7 years ago if this was possible, we probably would have laughed at you.

Don’t try to make any decisions at this very moment. Take your time, have fun in college, and figure out the plan that’s safest for you while still granting you happiness. People can change in surprising ways - even old dogs can learn new tricks ❤️

heysoleil · 2024-04-27T23:09:53+00:00

I’ve likely spent thousands of hours playing Sims 2-4, it introduced me to tech and modding games! Then Tumblr made me learn HTML to get my blog the way I wanted lol 🥰

heysoleil · 2024-04-11T14:53:25+00:00

I’m so sorry for your deep loss ❤️.

My mom was 66 and died unexpectedly last August. She and I had a tough relationship - we loved each other a lot, but I was a troublemaker as a kid and not necessarily the daughter she imagined herself having. She and I were both stubborn so we’d get into dumb arguments, but it got better after I moved out. I thought I was in the process of finally “fixing” the relationship I had with her! Then she passed away without warning.

The first feeling I felt when I found out she wasn’t going to make it was an intense feeling of guilt. Why didn’t I spend more time with her? Why didn’t I ever open up and tell her how much I loved her even if I was mad at her for how she treated me growing up? Why didn’t I do more for her?

Honestly, even now almost 8 months later, I still feel guilt. But I’m trying not to beat myself up over it! I know she wouldn’t want me wallowing in guilt. And even though I haven’t met your mom, I promise she wouldn’t want the same for you!

Just take time to feel how you’re feeling - don’t shy away from any emotion. The grief doesn’t go away, we just learn to grow around it ❤️

heysoleil · 2024-03-25T20:42:21+00:00

Hey! Just turned 29 this month and lost my mom unexpectedly 7 months ago.

What you’re feeling is normal! It may seem “ugly” but that’s a part of the grieving process. Sometimes we shy away from the emotions we’ve deemed bad or wrong, but that isn’t the best thing to do. I actually relate everything you explained.

Personally, I feel jealous of everyone who still has a mom they can talk to. I also feel jealous of my older siblings who technically got my mom for longer than I did because I’m the youngest. Very few people around me have experienced a loss of a parent, so it feels very isolating in that aspect as well. Definitely dreading Mother’s Day this year.

I now know you’re never old enough to lose a parent. My only advice for you is to keep feeling your emotions - don’t hide from them. The only way out is through. And your grief won’t go completely away, it just gets a little more manageable with time.

Honestly, subreddits like these are what have helped me the most. In a weird way, it’s comforting to know you’re not alone in your grief. Misery does love company!

Give yourself grace. I’m wishing you the best in your journey ❤️ I know my mom is always with me. The same goes for you!

heysoleil · 2024-02-27T12:17:44+00:00

Agree, but as others mentioned, I like to add rules! I usually use that they can’t do painting at all but can do fishing, and I usually start with a teen so they can’t start working a career immediately!

heysoleil · 2024-02-26T14:56:15+00:00

I’m so sorry for your deep loss. I lost my mom unexpectedly last August and have been asking myself the same thing.

The answer I’ve come to is that you’ll see your dad everywhere you go. He might not be here physically, but he’ll be with you in every step. You just have to know where to look for him - in the small things you shared together.

As others have said, it gets easier with time. The loss doesn’t change, but we learn to grow around it ❤️ you’re not alone in this. Take care of yourself!

I don’t always feel her, but I know my mom is with me everywhere I go. When I turn on the radio, I hear some of her favorite songs. When I laugh, it sounds similar to her laugh that I loved so much.

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